I am an idiot: Next year I will have three kids at expensive private colleges in non-technical majors

I have an PhD in an area within the humanities and my parents never paid a dime for any of my tuition, room, or board. You know why? Because all three degrees were mine. Going to get them was my choice, not theirs. My parents are my heroes and they've provided me with a solid work ethic, an example of how to treat others, and a good foundation for how to live, but I never expected them to pay for my degree? And why should they have been expected to do so?

I'm not telling you how to raise your kids, man, but you may want to ask yourself why you should be on the hook for their degrees.

Destined for Destitution wrote:

[quote]Med School Runner wrote:

Not worth 50-60k a year in my opinion.

Good thing you're only paying 25-30k then. If the sticker price were 30 and you were paying full, would you feel differently?

I agree that a lot of the LAC tuition costs go to non-essentials, like movies, shows, and, gasp, track teams, but graduates are still statistically quite likely to "succeed" in America. Your kids might go through a couple of rough years, sure. But think long-term. In 20 years, when you're ready to retire, they'll probably be more financially stable, and maybe their LAC educations will be to thank.

Then again, maybe they won't, and the extra 20k you pay per child per year relative to state school education will have been for naught but the happiness of your children. Is there happiness worth $320,000 to you?

I'm not sure exactly what he does. He works for a technology consultancy, but he's essentially doing sales for them. The company was recruiting graduates from my school and he got picked up. We went to a small private liberal arts college (a top tier school, but not in the top 10). Almost all of my friends have very good, high paying jobs, even those who didn't major in a science or get outstanding grades. You do pick up skills that are not directly taught in textbooks and lectures at liberal arts colleges. You learn how to be professional, how to communicate your thoughts clearly and succinctly, how to network, how to manage your time and be organized. You also become intellectually curious and open to unconventional ideas and ways of approaching problems. People on these boards love bashing higher education, but this country's human capital is still its most valuable asset by far. Don't underestimate the power of a college degree.

When did you get your degree (you didn't have to pay for a PhD 30 years ago), what university did you go to? How much was your tuition (by the way, they paid you if you were a competent scholar), what do you do for a job now and how much do you make?

The government student loan programs, like the sub-prime mortgage loan programs allowed people to get into big debt and allowed the price of homes to skyrocket and the cost of college education to skyrocket. The colleges raked in profits and passed them on to teachers and administrators in the form of inflated salaries and pension plans.

Now they are raising student tuition costs, but in the end, just like in Greece, they will need to cut way back on the fraudulent mark-up in educators pay scale and pension plans.

Read more:

http://www.letsrun.com/forum/flat_read.php?thread=4333304&page=1#ixzz1emOALQoP

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Congratulations! I'm sure they'll pay for their own kids' educations as well, so the gift will be passed on :)

Yes yes I know you're griping but you love your kids and I think you'll be fine.

As a parent, job #1 is to teach your kids how to be independant. So why after all this self-flagellation, would you make another bad parenting move and let them move back in? Time for them to find a job, 3 friends and get their own place.

"This is my advice for those with young kids or no kids yet: college has become a big time scam".

Yes, it has. But this isn't about not going to college, this is only the scam that the college education system has become.

On the current path, our kids will not be able to pay for a college education for their own kids. But that is OK, because then the scam will have come full circle.

If your kids have 3.0's in the easiest majors in college, that's not a scam. That's just them being lazy.

My parents paid for most of college, and I plan to do the same if I can. It's not an obligation, but it will put your kids on a much better path early in life.

For parents expensive private schools have become more of a gamble. Used to be you put out the $ because:

- there were enough decent (not hi-flier) jobs to be had more easily because you went to one.

- safer, more cosy cocooned college life

- better chance of a good marriage

Now :

- many of those old-boy/girl jobs are gone

- Parents are more aware of the value of at least a bit of street-cred in the ever more competitive world.

That leaves reason 3 which is still valid, but kids don't get hitched as fast as they used to.

Its a given these days that the actual education is the same whether its snooty or decent public school, so in general I would not recommend huge out-of-pocket spending on a private school. Of course if $ is no object then fine you might as well spend it on a spendy school.

I will graduate this spring after five years of undergrad with two degrees, three majors, all science, with zero school loans and all but one year of my schooling was paid for either through scholarships or the money I made from summer jobs. Total spending (school, books, housing, car expenses, food, etc) averaged less than 10k/year. Congrats on sending your kids to overpriced schools for no reason.

I went to college with 45k tuition and the only thing my parents paid for were books. I only have about 20k in loans and i just graduated. I just had to find scholarships, work hard in the summer and take my running really seriously. What this did was help me take my education much more seriously. I appreciated it more because i knew how much i wanted it.

Anyone who thinks he is doing his kids a good deed by sending them to community college instead of a private college has another thing coming.

If it's so easy to get a job without a college degree, then tell you wife to get a job. Surely she can find a job making enough to pay off two of your kids' educations per year, right?

I appreciate your post. But it's gotten ridiculous how many high salaried Americans find a way to spend their money. It's why there're so many in foreclosures- 'Let's spend all we make'. If you made $300K, would you be in the same boat? More expensive house, car?

non-tech majors can make just as much money down the line as tech majors. maybe not initially, but eventually.

look at all the mba's and university administrators. these folks are not technical and yet they get paid very high salaries.

a history major or philosophy major could be making big bucks in a matter of a few years.

Barry Rice wrote:

I have an PhD in an area within the humanities and my parents never paid a dime for any of my tuition, room, or board. You know why? Because all three degrees were mine. Going to get them was my choice, not theirs. My parents are my heroes and they've provided me with a solid work ethic, an example of how to treat others, and a good foundation for how to live, but I never expected them to pay for my degree? And why should they have been expected to do so?

I'm not telling you how to raise your kids, man, but you may want to ask yourself why you should be on the hook for their degrees.

My mother worked her way through school, alone with two kids. The catch is that she could make enough in a summer to pay for the year's tuition. It's an entirely different world today. I'm all for teaching kids independence, but six figure debt is not a lesson in independence--it's a life-changing burden.

Now, I'm not saying that parents should pay for expensive private educations either. That's going to be a personal choice. If a kid is looking at paying for a private liberal arts education with just loans, then he should probably consider something else. The risks of funding such a liberal arts education with that kind of debt are just too great in this economy. (The handful of schools where there wouldn't be much risk happen to be so wealthy that they don't leave their students in that situation.)

Nevertheless, there are potential upsides to a private liberal arts education. Many of my friends have exciting, fulfilling careers that they would have been unlikely to get if they had gone to state schools. If a kid is sure that's what he wants, and parents are in a position to give it to him, I don't think it's bad parenting to give your child an opportunity that could change his life. If you still want to give him a lesson in independence, you can have him kick in maybe 8k/year (he can make part of that during the summer, and take out small loans for the rest).

You earn $150,000 a year, and you are looking for sympathy? Just be glad you have a job and a family. My last two jobs don't even exist anymore.

I had to laugh when the ad for me on this thread said, "Start your career in Construction" and it is for Dallas County Community Colleges.

Could have gone that route but I bet that is not what you wanted.

And what summer job pays 130k with a bump to 200k the next year? I call bs on that one.

Just have your kid gets one of those jobs.

Until then I have the solution. Have each of your kids sign up for a free ING checking account by tomorrow. They'll each get $107 for signing up. They won't be able to say you don't care for them. Tell them $107 used to be a lot and they're on their own. Then try the same thing with your wife.

They can sign up here

http://www.letsrun.com/2011/ing-sale-1125.php

(I'll put the referral fee towards my non-existent kids education)

Probably won't go over very well with your family. I overheard a guy who sends his kids to private school (elementary school) talking about the lifetime costs of their educations. It made me immediately think how much money I'd save with my non-existent kids going to public school. I then was trying to figure out how much a 4 year college would cost by then. It's crazy how expensive colleges are becoming and the costs keep rising way faster than inflation. I think in the next 20 years a lot of people will start question which colleges are actually worth what they cost.

Its called living below your means.....150k is a lot of money. Stop complaining and trying to get life advise on a lets-run forum....