How do I tell a friend he can't run fast??

coach d wrote:

Which is why so many coaches say things like this in the first place, and it rarely fails to provide motivation to improve (as long as the athlete doesn't see through us).

Coach D,

Is that really common practice for a coach to engage in? Explicitly telling an athlete their limitations and telling them that they have unrealistic expectations so that they can try to prove you wrong and perform at a higher level? I have actually never heard of that sort of approach used by a coach before to be honest. I don't mean to sound critical at all; I am just curious. Is this an effective coaching technique?

If one of your reasons to doubt him is his crappy form, then show him how bad it is and how improving it could make him faster. If he is short, that's ok but make sure he is super light as well (he may look like Leo Manzano in a pack of taller runners, but Leo does ok, doesn't he?).

Just say, "dude, i'm glad you want to be great but you don't have the natural "gift" of a great runner so you're going to need to start doing X, Y, Z to give yourself a realistic chance. if you don't start doing those things, talking about how great you are going to be is going to get really annoying really quick, in fact, i'm already quite sick of it because everyone who has ever achieved what you are claiming you will was far ahead of you at this stage in their career so go put in some work before hyping yourself so much!"

OP, maybe you don't realize how big of a tool you appear to be. Why would you tell anyone they couldn't achieve something when it's within their reach? Unrealistic expectations are ones without goals and miniature goals. Maybe you should offer advice to him about how to plan this big jump of his. You come off as insecure that someone slower than you would want to improve so much.

A runner I competed against in high school was absolutely terrible until his junior track season - basically the same PRs as your friend. By his senior year he got down to 4:14 and last week he ran the 1200 at Penn under 3:00. There's no reason to tell your friend he can't do it, because maybe he can. You sound full of yourself.

I hope he does it and proves you wrong, because if I knew you both, I would probably like him more than you.

Of course he can run 4.47 x 3 that is the whole reason why we train. Get over him and get over yourself. What you have is a good rivalry, and you really don't appreciate this. Maybe you will when you are older and more secure.

I had a "friend" JUST like you in HS. I was a softball and soccer player while she mainly focused on soccer, which she was phenomenal at. She was lean, strong, and could run a 12.2x 100m dash, but also run a killer 800/mile time. One of the top soccer players in the state. Me, on the other hand, at 5'2'' and about 135 lbs was not the swiftest person on the team. I wanted to make the varsity squad my sophomore year. She told me I would never "have the stamina." I even overheard her dad tell my dad the same thing. Long story short, I ran 5 days a week that summer, made the varsity team, started every game. I quit soccer after I graduated HS, walked onto a cross country squad, and 2-All American finishes later...I thank her everyday for her motivation and faith :)

It's not that you want to tell him that he's slow, you're just annoyed of his gloating around you, right? Just tell him that you're annoyed of him bragging and gloating around you.

He's a junior and has run 4:47 - it means he can run somewhat. I couldn't break 5:50 as a h.s. junior and I went on to run 4:14 in college - made the D1 team as a walk-on sophomore year for 5K, 10K and XC - traveled, etc.

You're right, he's no future Olympian - but neither are 99% of your 4:20 high school milers. If his bragging bugs you, tell him to STFU or else you will pour him a nice tall glass of reality (and refer him to your thread).

south jerz wrote:

A runner I competed against in high school was absolutely terrible until his junior track season - basically the same PRs as your friend. By his senior year he got down to 4:14 and last week he ran the 1200 at Penn under 3:00. There's no reason to tell your friend he can't do it, because maybe he can. You sound full of yourself.

No, he didn't.

Look's like his mile & 5k times are pretty similar to what Nate Jenkins, Brian Sell, and Ruben Sanca ran in HS. Jenkins has been 7th at the Olympic Trials Marathon, Sell ran 2:10/11, and Sanca was a D2 beast before Debuting this year in Rotterdam in 2:18.

Don't hate on him. Sounds like i'd rather be around him than you. Btw, a 4:47 miler has about as much of a chance of improving and making the US 10k team as a 1:55 800 guy making the 800 team. So don't think you're all too mighty and holier than he is.

Yeah I know of plenty of guys who only ran 4:40's and 10:xx in HS and go on and run 14:xx 30:xx. So not Olympic standards by any means, but they will have fun competing at a high level in college and post.

His PRs are better than my HS PRs. I walked onto a mid major D1 team and by my jr. year won the conference cross country championship/qualified for nationals.

O.P. you are a lousy friend.

Good move to let it go. Obviously you were coming across as possibly getting a kick out of raining on his parade. You are the better runner and probably always will be; that is all you should need for satisfaction.

My guess is that given their various attitudes, in the long run his friend will be the much better runner.

Night Runner wrote:

Good move to let it go. Obviously you were coming across as possibly getting a kick out of raining on his parade. You are the better runner and probably always will be; that is all you should need for satisfaction.

These quotes are on my son's bedroom wall:

Nothing limits achievement like small thinking.

Being realistic is the most commonly travelled road to mediocrity - Will Smith

The greatest danger for most of us is not that our aim is too high and we miss it, but that it is too low and we reach it. - Michelangelo

i sometimes feel that it was my destiny to only be a much slower mile runner. i believe that with my own mentallity i broke 427 and prooved destiny wrong, because thats how hard it was to do. the mind is very beautifull and its amazing the things that it can do with the right ammount of desire, therefore im a firm believer in mind > matter, mentallity > physicallity.