Rathskeller wrote:
What's the "sea of tits" quote?
I'm sure he used it on multiple occasions but it went something like this: Coach would walk by one of his runners after practice and see an icebag on his knee/leg whatever. "What's that douschebag doing on your leg?" The kid responded with something about tendonitis or what have you. Coach: "The best way to cure that is to run through a sea of tits and fall over."
We had this Swedish kid on our team, full ride, who loved to complain. It was like cancer - he was always bringing everyone down. Literally 1 week before Big Ten Championships (outdoor track), the Swede walks up to Coach during practice and says "Coach I think I quit". Without even looking away from the runners on the track (who were in the middle of an interval), Coach responds "Okay. See you later."
not BAS wrote:
Where was it when he said it ranked "between whale shit and the bottom of the sea"?
I don't know where this quote was first uttered, but I think he was referring to Title IX. Then again, he used this quote pretty often. The funny part about Groves was that he wouldn't clean up his manner of speaking for reporters. So I'm sure the young kids at the Daily Collegian had a heck of a time trying to make his quotes PG-13.
I remember attending the psu xc camp in the mid 90's and hearing him refer hills are like women...something about "they're a bi#ch you have to get over"
I also remember hearing stories from Chad McConnely about walking in the locker room one day to see Groves laying on the floor naked between two lockers, with everyone thinking he was dead...but as they went over to him he just got up and said something about a good nap...haha
I\'ve heard that Harry asked for his coffin to be filled with tits. During the same coversation Harry asked that all of his assistant coaches at his funeral stand guard that the door and refuse entry to ceremony to the current AD at PSU (Tim Curley).
Any/all illnesses and/or injuries could be attributed to:
a. jerking off too much
b. jerking off too little
c. hanging around with dirty women
I\'ve personally been threatened with being \"hit between the eyes with a sack full of shit\"
When asked about how long he would stay with coaching at PSU, Harry said that he\'d be there \"long enough to piss on Paternos\' grave\"
God, I could go on for hours!
My first week as a freshman I called Harry "Harry" in the lockerroom. The badinage immediately stopped and the room was so silent you could hear a pin drop. The upperclassmen quietly informed me that Harry was "coach" from now on.
my 5th year, when i told coach that my girlfriend was pregnant, coach said "the first time you introduced me to her, I took one look at her and I knew you were screwed."
Malmo, with your affinity towards record keeping, I would think you would have files of Grove'isms.
As a long time friend of both Harry and Moon, I can tell you that they are truly 2 of the most hilarious people who ever walked the planet. Unfortunately many of their finest cannot be re-printed here....
Some of my favorite Grove-isms:
a. What's up with "X"? He's not running that well this year. Groves- He's jerking off too much.
Later that year. What's up with "X"? Heard he was injured now. Groves- Yeah, when I told him he was jerking off too much the damn fool stopped altogether. You know what that can do to you?
b. As we go by a woman walking her dog on a cross country course, Groves- Hey idiot! No dogs allowed on the course! That goes for both of you!
c. After one of his runners qualifies for the finals the next day, Groves- Make sure you get a good nights sleep tonight, so, keep your &*@$ hands ABOVE the sheets tonight.
d. After one of his ex-athletes introduces Harry to his new girlfriend, Groves-Wow, this is a major improvement over the one you had before. You know, the one who looked like a truck with tits, had all those tatoo's, and that snotty nosed kid of hers. What was her name again?
e. At a coaches meeting, Groves- If another person stands up and asks another stupid question I'm gonna have to kill something.
f. At Penn Relays, Groves- Hey Moon, boy am I glad you're here now. I hate being the ugliest guy in the stadium, but now that you're here....
And, Oh the ones we cannot repeat!
I need examples g through z now please! hahah these are hilarious!
Kim wrote:
He always claimed to be busier than "A one legged man in a kicking contest" I love Harry!!!
Actually, I believe the quote is "I've been busier than a one-legged man in an ass-kicking contest"
and sometimes he would follow that with, "and if you've got a stupid question, you're next!"
I heard about this thread going around so I had to check it out. With everything being said, people should also know that he is one of the most compassionate people I have ever met. A man who truly cared more about the individual over the athlete. For those who have ever met him or get the chance to meet him - consider yourselves lucky.
I've heard this story told a few times - so I know it isn't too far from the truth.
Back in the day the men's coaches were always the ones setting up for the meet - and the women's coaches would stroll in a few minutes before the meet began to check how everything was going. Coach Groves would try and bite his tongue until something dumb was said - and then it was over. Teri Jordan, the former women's head coach, came in saying "hey Harry, is this done - is that done", and then she says "is the bell for the bell lap working". Classic Coach Groves response "Yeah it goes ding dong you stupid bitch".
Keep them coming.
one alum wrote: I don't know where this quote was first uttered, but I think he was referring to Title IX. Then again, he used this quote pretty often. The funny part about Groves was that he wouldn't clean up his manner of speaking for reporters. So I'm sure the young kids at the Daily Collegian had a heck of a time trying to make his quotes PG-13.
Check it out! I found a Daily Collegian article that actually quotes Groves as saying Title IX is "somewhere between whale shit and the bottom of the sea" So nevermind about the Daily Collegian trying to make the quote PG-13!
http://www.collegian.psu.edu/archive/1999/02/02-25-99tdc/02-25-99dsports-20.aspOne day, a teammate of mine looked like he was having a really, really bad day in practice on the indoor track. His body was kind of bobbing up and down as he ran. Coach said he looked like "a raped kangaroo"
Not the Sands in costums story (which is great) but another great Groves quote involving Sands and revealing what kind of guy Groves is, and how he feels about his athletes: Mike went to a US highschool. After setting what appeared to be an American record while running for PSU in a relay the officials later came up to Coach Groves and said, "Mike Sands is not an American Citizen so it's no American record." To which Coach Groves responded,"I'd rather have Mike Sands than some god damned American record!"
malmo wrote:
Jamie Cook wrote:I heard about this thread going around so I had to check it out. With everything being said, people should also know that he is one of the most compassionate people I have ever met. A man who truly cared more about the individual over the athlete. For those who have ever met him or get the chance to meet him - consider yourselves lucky. .
Does anyone know the story about when Groves and Mike Sands went to the Bahamas and almost got stuck at customs because Sands forgot his passport? Classic!
Isn't that the one where Sands told officials Groves was his father?
Jamie Cook wrote:
Teri Jordan, the former women's head coach, came in saying "hey Harry, is this done - is that done", and then she says "is the bell for the bell lap working". Classic Coach Groves response "Yeah it goes ding dong you stupid bitch".
Keep them coming.
i think i blew my funny fuse
Quotes about the 1992 Olympic Team and Joe Paterno are a little too X rated for this board . . .
"If an atomic bomb falls in Happy Valley, brace yourself, wait for the smoke to clear . . . . then get your ASS TO PRACTICE !"
"VO2 Max Test ? Shit there is only one test that matters, the balls caliper test !"
Upon watching a women's 10K last year
"Every minute of this 10000 is one minute closer to my death."
I have about a 4 page word document with a bunch of em...too many to ever write down so I kind of stopped keeping track. These are more from recent years, but here's a few samples...
“I better live longer then him. Cause when he dies first I’m gonna walk over there and piss on his grave stone, give him the finger and say na na na na na na.”
- when asked about joe paterno
“Well, they had to use a lot of ducks to make this jacket…and as long as they were from Oregon I don’t give a damn. Hahaha”
-upon having feathers come out of his coat
“You god damn pecker head”
“Some guys we know what to expect. But the freshman this year, we're just gonna have to close our eyes and pray cause we don’t have a hope”
On a sunday morning van ride to the starting point of the 15 mile run in the mountains - "this van smells like the shit house door on a tuna boat, doesn't anybody wash the pussy smell off their dick before they get in here?"
Under the spreading chestnut tree the village idiot sat….amusing himself, abusing himself and catching it in his hat.
in today's 'gotcha' P.C. environment, old Harry wouldn't last the season. Somebody would threaten a law suit and the University would be scared and let him go.