ummm... i'm not sure how to even begin to respond. first, i am a feminist myself. i proudly wear my MIT women's week t-shirts that simply state "i am a feminist" and "i love feminism". sure, some people let their culture get in the way of their Islam, but sexism has no place in the life of a Muslim. in fact, the sexism that exists in *Turkish* (not Muslim) culture is one of the reasons why he does not want to live there. sexism has *no place whatsoever* in Islam.
but i also understand where you are coming from. i've had a gazillion discussions with my husband about hijab. i've talked to Muslim women in the states, both born into Muslim families and those from other religious and non-religious backgrounds who converted to Islam; some of them unmarried women who converted of their own accord. "converted of their own accord" actually doesn't need to be said. it is a private matter between the individual and God. when my husband and i married, the Imam made it abundantly clear that it is forbidden for my husband to suggest that i convert. again, distinctions need to be drawn between Islam and culture.
in Islam, women AND MEN are supposed to dress modestly. in fact, any time that my husband goes running with me here in the states, he wears a t-shirt and pants or shorts that go just below his knees (while i wear running shorts and a tank top). in Islam, women and men are considered equal. men and women are supposed to share household chores and childcare (in the tradition of the Prophet). they believe that Eve and Adam shared equally in the fall of Eden; it had nothing to do with Eve tempting Adam.
i am NOT forced to live a life like this. both my husband and i have made some changes in our lives and made some compromises to be together. that's part of marriage, no matter who you are. we talked extensively about the kinds of things we will encounter because we chose to marry someone from outside our own cultural and/or religious background. my husband's parents are coming from an older generation of Turks, in which sexism played a bigger role than it does today (though it is still painfully apparent in the younger generations). of course this upsets me. *BUT* i am not going to make any difference in their points of view if i go stay with them and offend the crap out of them. Yusuf and i have both realized, independently in our lives before meeting one another, that you generally don't change people's minds by offending them; ESPECIALLY older peeps. you do so by slowly introducing them to the idea that, hey, maybe this isn't the way things should be.
maybe you should be pissed off at the dudes who don't look at women as people, but as pieces of ass. who catcall when i'm out running. who look me up and down when i'm walking down the street. how about all the advertisements with, hmm, half naked women and, what?, fully clothed men??? wtf?! yeah, there are lots of places out there with overt sexism and there are lots of Muslims out there who are overtly sexist, but hell, take a big ol' look at the U.S. and other western nations. sexism *pisses me off* so frickin' much.