Gee Doug, don't get your running shorts all in a wad. Sorry I touched a nerve with ya. Go for a run before it's kid time.
Gee Doug, don't get your running shorts all in a wad. Sorry I touched a nerve with ya. Go for a run before it's kid time.
Mr. KnowItAll wrote:
Gee Doug, don't get your running shorts all in a wad. Sorry I touched a nerve with ya. Go for a run before it's kid time.
No problem, KnowItAll. I just get tired of people making excuses why they cannot run more. It's less than 2 hours per day! Most people piss away more than 2 hours each day watching TV or surfing the web. That's all. If you want to do it, it can be done without damage to the family.
noflats,
I have gotten 140, here is the schedule during the week.
5AM Wake up get out the door and run within 10 minutes.
7AM Get to work
3:30 Off work
3:45 Home from work, play time with kids, wife goes and runs.
4:30 Run again.
6PM Fix dinner/play with kids.
6:30 Dinner time.
7:45 Read stories/put kids to sleep.
8PM Watch TV/talk to wife
10PM Bed
This is when we don't have Soccer, T-Ball, Gymnastics, or Ballet that changes they schedule.
G-Rod: it can be done! if you want it to happen, it will work (i keep telling myself that, as baby #2 is on its way!). it is all worth it, and, for me, having my time to run makes me a better parent: less burnout, a mental break for myself, sharing parenting stories while running with training partners who have kids (and learning from them). in fact, since giving up TV altogether (not even one in the house) and getting up and out early, i have been able to hit mileage levels that i had never previously done: 70+ per week, and i am looking to boost for the summer and fall.
also, your kids learn what they see-when i come home from runing in the AM, my 2 year old stretches with me in his unique way, runs around the house screaming "ready, set, go" and runs into my arms. also-he's already active, loves the outdoors, and has no interest in TV when visiting friends or relative's homes-just wants to ride his bike, run, or play.
the scheduling and predictability can be a bit like the treadmill-each day is kind of the same, but, magically, it all works, and i know my son loves a refreshed, charged, relaxed dad more so than one that never gets even an hour or so to himself. this is a great thread! Good luck!
Rob - I've got to agree. While running IS a selfish activity, it also does make me a better parent and person. I'm fitter, saner, providing a better example, blah blah blah.
Life changed in ways I never would have guessed after kids arrived. I cut out a lot of the time-wasting crap I used to do, but find I absolutely must have a bit of time, even if it is at lunch or while everyone else is asleep. Not that these are the only options, but I think finding an hour or two to do something healthy for yourself is far better than the opposite extremes: being mindlessly 'there' all the time or finding an hour or two to sit in a bar after work (or using work as your escape from the family).
So much has changed for fathers over a generation or two and I for one am awfully happy to be more than a breadwinner and disciplinarian.
I have two boys ages 1 and 3 so these questions are VERY familiar. I've also managed to run up to 80 mpw on top of work and family responsibilities. In fact, I probably have run more since becoming a father simply by becoming more disciplined. Here's how I have found a way to make it work:
1. Commute to or from work by running. This saves an incredible amount of time because I'm not wasting time sitting in a car or a bus. I have a locker and shower at work. It also builds the run into the routine of the day so its less likely to be interrupted. Another added benefit is the run helps me wind down after work. I have plenty of shitty days at work but I never bring the frustration home because I've burned it off on the trail.
2. Home treadmill. I got a treadmill last winter and the high price has been worth it. I had an excellent winter of training when I schduled twice weekly tempo and marathon pace runs into my son's nap schedule. He would go down for two hours every afternoon so I would immediately turn on the baby monitor and jump on the treadmill for 10+ miles of faster running than I would be able to do on the ice-covered streets anyway. It's also useful for easy runs because, like some people above have said, you can park the baby in a playpen nearby and entertain him with silly faces while you run. I've also found its useful for maintaining harmony in a a marriage. I can do an easy run and talk to my wife at the same time. That way we can catch up and she doesn't feel abandoned and resentful that I'm running rather than spending time with her.
3. If that fails, use the baby jogger or run as early or late as necessary so you can do workout while kids are sleeping.
4. Routine, routine, routine. I've found the only way I can get shit done is to live a life of boring predictability. You gotta have times when you KNOW you are going to do certain workouts. This is especially important for hard workouts. Make it as routine as brushing your teeth so youdon't ever have to think "now when am I going to find he time..." Build it into your schedule or work out child care arrangements ahead of time. If I spent every day waiting for chance to run "when I have a moment" it just wouldn't happen.
5. Cut out all the superfluous stuff. I never watch TV, go out for a beer after work, etc. You'd be amazed how much time you can waste. My one weakness: the Internet (but it looks like I'm working). Let people think you are being monomaniacal or a bit strange. You will be getting younger and faster and they'll just be getting older and softer.
6. Finally, avoid a situation where your family becomes resentful of your running. Give your kids lots of good love and time, same with your wife, negotiate with her and make sure you give her time off, etc.
Like you, I'm at an age when I can hear the clock ticking. Running is a way I can make sure the term "middle age" remains just a way to describe my age, not a lifestyle. Be a good husband and devoted father...but do not go gentle into that good night.
MN Chris and Thirtysomething: glad to engage in this dialogue, as it's comforting to know that it's not an either/or existence: running or parenting, and that i'm not alone in trying to train hard while being a good father in a way that's so much more than "being the breadwinner" (or the slice of bread winer in my case...). they do go hand in hand. i have given up all the superfluous stuff (not that there was much before), and also feel much more efficient re running. nothing will come before my family, of course, but i am willing to give up sleep, and the other time-wasting things that i had in the past.
also willing to do some things slightly out of the box: recently my wife was away for two weeks helping her sister out with her newborn in CA (we live in Vermont), and i had my son for 2 full weeks by myself, with the 2nd week we would be out west also visiting my parents (where i could get some help). during the first week we did some baby jogger runs, and i got in some runs while he was at his playgroup or at a friends, but there were 2 or 3 days where i had no plans for him and the weather wasn't great for baby jogger, and the treadmill is just too loud during naps, so....attached the baby monitor to my waist and ran up and down our .25 mile street 30-35 times in order to get in a 7-8 miler. got lots of strange looks from neighbors, but the boy slept, i got my runs in and i was refreshed and ready to tackle the rest of the day. of course, i also had to catch up with work in the evenings, but it all worked out fine.
good points also about family being resentful if running tips slightly out of balance. i have given up the mid-morning or early afternoon races altogether, and am focusing on close to home, early AM races, or those that are really big and have activities, food, and other events for kids and my wife. also, am willing to put in extra time after the race so my wife can get to the movies, see friends, get a break for solo parenting during the race time.
i guess it also helps that my wife is dedicated to exercise (walking) as well-she better understands the need to get out, and is ready at the door at 7am when i get home from my run. i do get a bit grouchy at 9pm after the routine of a long day, but i max the amount of time with my son-we have breakfast together every day-and believe that nothing has been lost in his development and our relationship (including my realtionship with my wife) as i continue working towards my running goals.
let's keep this dialogue going, as it seems there are a bunch of us out there trying to balance parenting in a way that is so much more than being the traditional father with trying to keep running a very important elelment of our lives.
Married with 3 young kids (6, 4, and under 1). Got a full-time job and part-time job and 1.5 commuting each day. Throw in the soccer practices and games and a wife that started running a few months ago and you've got your self a full schedule. For me, the best bet is running in the early mornings, at lunchtime at work and occasionally after work before heading home. So far a meager 45 mpw. But I could do more and plan to as I up the training ante and tackle bigger goals.
I'm in a very similar situation...only in my early 40's with 2 little kids. The treadmill is key...one that can go at least 5 min pace (12 mph). I've been able to get in consistent 70 mile weeks over the past 9 years with a demanding job, coaching little league, etc. I've learned to do ALL of my training in the early a.m. I start between 4:30 and 5:00 and am now also able to now do my quality stuff at that hour as well. By lunchtime you're pretty damn hungry.
Rob T: Running up and down the block with a monitor on...that's a good one. Haven't resorted to that yet although I certainly have thought about it.
Some time ago, some one posted a story on this site about a hardcore guy from the 1970s who was a single dad. He got his runs in late at night by waiting until his kid was fast asleep and then going out and hammering a four-mile run in 20 minutes. Personally, I wouldn't recommend that. I could never do that without imagining my house burning down while my child was left alone. Maybe that's why the guy ran at 5-min pace.
I just remembered another trick. My wife and I got one of those bike trailers a couple of weeks ago. Now she can tow the kids (who always fall alseep in that thing) alongside me when I run. Now if MN Chris has four kids, his wife could get a flatbed or something...
The kids old enough to ride a bike during the warmer months?
Yeah: i got a lot of funny looks from my neighbors-but you do what you have to do, i guess...i can't imagine leaving the house fully unattended for any more than 2 or 3 minutes at any one time-i don't remember that post about the night-time 20 minute guy. the actual range on those monitors is just about .25 mile, so it worked pretty well.
the bike trailer might work on weekends, but with baby #2 onthe way in a few months, there won't be much in the way of biking for my wife this summer. thankfully, we have a lot of kids on our street with very generous neighbors, so if worse comes to worst, my son can hang with his friends for an hour and i can get in an extra run if the AM didn't work (very rarely is the case) or if my wife is away.
Well, two of them are old enough for their own bikes, so the double trailer is enough. It took me a while to get un-intense enough to be able to make the jogger/bike outings fun for them, too--stopping to pet dogs, pick dandelions, and so on. That's important, as kid #3 is a spirited little girl, God bless her, who can't sit in that double jogger for long, even with a running conversation, without either getting out or beating on her little brother.
On the other hand, the bike trailer means that dad's run isn't the guaranteed quiet time it used to be. Last time we went out as a family my wife spent the entire time nattering on about something that I really didn't care about at all. She got a kick out of having a captive audience who was short of breath. I couldn't rely on the usual male defenses, like picking up the newspaper or announcing, "well, I guess I'll go outside and clean those gutters now." She also was surprised to see that I run pretty fast, spit alot and make some ferocious farts.
I teach, and run home from school most days. I also ride both ways some days. In the fall I coach cross-country and usually run with the team unless I need to time a speed workout. In summer, I amp up the mileage.
That said, I run about 35-45 miles a week, and give up my speed for my young'uns. I made 'em, so I might as well hang with 'em. They'll be leaving me in the dust soon enough, I reckon.
Rob T wrote:
Yeah: i got a lot of funny looks from my neighbors-but you do what you have to do, i guess...i can't imagine leaving the house fully unattended for any more than 2 or 3 minutes at any one time-i don't remember that post about the night-time 20 minute guy. the actual range on those monitors is just about .25 mile, so it worked pretty well.
My house used to be on a circle. A complete circuit was .23 miles. I would run a circuit, check on the kids and repeat until I had my mileage in.
I now have 3 kids, ages 13, 10, and 4. The 13-year-old will watch the others, so that helps.
About 10 years ago, I was putting in 80+ miles/week and running when I got home from work, so I was basically not there. My wife sat me down and said something had to give. I cut back and started looking for ways to get in the miles without creating a problem at home. Here's what I do:
1. Run early in the morning. It's okay, but I have to be out the door by 4:30 a.m. If you're not in bed by a reasonable time, it can be hard.
2. Run at lunch. I either lift or run at lunch by using our fitness facility.
3. Run during the kids' activities. My oldest has soccer practice for 1.5 hours twice a week. I use that time to run because I'm already there. I don't need to watch his practice.
I sit down on Sunday night and review the schedule for the coming week. I then schedule my runs around the family. I also try to make sure that my wife gets some downtime as well although she usually uses hers to take a nap.
In my case, with soccer games, church, and the like, I'm more likely to miss a weekend run than a weekday run. I often have to decide between an early morning run on Saturday or playing under the sheets w/ my wife.
I guess the number of mpw one can get in also depends on the pace one runs.
What kind of pace do most of you currently run on your easy days or if your building a base (which is what I am currenlty doing at 8:15 m/m - 9:00 m/m ) ?
And what is the minimum / maximum length of your daily run during the weekdays ?
i like the circle routine-that sounds like it worked really well. using the kids as built in sitters is great, but a long, long way off for me...
it looks like the AM time truly is the best and causes the least disruption in the lives of those posting. it did take me about a year way back when to accomodate to harder stuff, but i find that efficiency and preparation are the keys: getting my running stuff out the night before so there is no rooting around in the dark, etc.
i would like to find time to lift, but i never really did much of that before we had kids, so i likely won't be doing much now. i have found that my leg strength has improved by doing a hill workout nearly every week-i really count on it as an essential component of the week, along with tempos, quicker stuiff and the long run, which is primarily my only social time during the week, as i usually run with at least one other guy on sundays, but it's early, too.
pace is generally around 7:10/mile if easy day, and the minimum weekday run is about 60-65 minutes, with the max being 75-80 minutes, esp when gearing up for a half or full marathon. i feel i need at least 60 minutes to feel "right" or i just don't get enough of a workout. i will get out the door by 5:15 if i need to get in the longer stuff.