Embarrasing running moments

I was racing through down a path in a vacant lot with my twin brother, when I noticed two puddles in my path. The first puddle was about 15 long and the second about 3 feet long with about 3 feet between the two. If I go around the puddle, I lose the race; something you don't want to do when you are running against a twin. Solution: as I was a good long jumper, I would clear the first puddle and step over the second. Well, I cleared the first puddle, landed on the wet ground and slid through the second puddle on my butt--lost the race. The next day one of the neighbors asked me what happened. He said I was running through the field and suddenly flew through the air and landed in a puddle.

As a high school senior in 1984, I had just won the Wood County (Ohio) cross country meet in a still-standing meet record of 15:48 (gotta give myself props every once in a while). Quite honestly at that time and in my area of the state, I was thought of as Mr. Big Bad Stud Runner by other teams and my big-headed self. A female reporter from The Toledo Blade (who didn't know anything about running) was asking me a bunch of questions, and since normally we didn't get immediate press like this, my teammates, the other teams and their coaches were all around (about 15 teams I think) watching and listening. She kept mentioning that I had won "by a mile" (actually I think the second guy finished in 16:30, so not quite a mile) and finally she asked what it was I did to win by such a large margin. Since I didn't want to tell her that most of the runners in Wood County sucked, I started to say something about how I had started training in the summer before the season for the first time and that I had put in a lot of work (feeling full of myself that I was getting this much attention). With that a large bug flew into my mouth and I choked on it. The woman had her purse and some reporters notebooks sitting on the ground. I vomited on them. Pretty much that ended the interview. She said something about how The Blade would get her a new purse, and all I could say was "I'm sorry". After she walked away, people were doing that sort of whispering laughing, and then some were imitating the whole thing. Not a way to end a championship run.

You mean, kinda like a tragic comedy?

idealist wrote:

It's like watching a tragedy and a comedy happening simultaneously.

At a meet in Toronto circa 1985, a HS teammate of mine was running the 400m. He was standing behind his blocks when the started yelled, "Sweats off!" and he dropped his sweatpants to reveal his jockey shorts. I guess he was getting himself all psyched up, because he just kept staring straight ahead. The large crowd began giggling (it was a big meet; I remember there were 95 guys in my event alone) and even then he didn't clue in. When someone from our school finally got his attention by yelling his name, he just looked up in our direction while standing there in his underwear. It wasn't until someone actually yelled, "Look down!" that he realized the problem.

I'm pretty sure the starter gave him some extra time to find some proper shorts, and later on the guy admitted that he felt "cooler than usual but didn't know why."

I've got two of them I remember (neither one was me). First, during our warm-down miles after a tempo run in college, the guy I was running with ran straight into a steel lamp post on the sidewalk. We were talking, I heard a noise, and then he was gone. Luckily, he wasn't hurt, but there must have been about three people who stopped their cars to make sure he was OK. Second one involved one of our hurdlers on my High School track team. The guy went through his warm-up and just before he was getting ready to settle in the blocks, he went to take off his sweats and realized he had forgotten his shorts. He had nothing but his jock strap on. By that time it was too late head back to the locker room, so he ran the 110s in his heavy fleece sweatpants. I think he took second, but for the rest of the season, everyone was asking him if he had his shorts on.

Junior year high school track season. Had knee problems during the early-mid winter and didn't run too much, then come down with mono. I had about a 3 days of running before the first track meet.

I thought I would run as many events as possible and race myself into shape during spring track. The first meet I ran the 4x800, mile, half, and then the 2 mile.

This is a small crappy dual meet, and I lead through the mile in about 5:45 or so. Over the second mile I kept hearing shouts that I was being run down. I tried to pick it up, but my legs were worthless. With 400 to go I hear splits being yelled out and I have a lead of a few seconds. I start to kick with 200 as this person comes to my shoulder.

Needless to say, I have nothing, and get totally smoked in the last 100. All the while I have a horrible look of pain on my face (remember I am completely out of shape) and I was wrecked. Arms flailing, legs not working, whole body clenched, I struggle to the line in second.

And that was the day a girl beat all the guys in a 2 miler, despite starting about 20 seconds after the guys.

I never lived that down, despite actually getting down to 10 minutes by the end of the season.

I am not sure where to start on this one but I will tell a funny story...

I was running in the Falmouth road race for the first time and was given a seeded number...I was so awe struck by all the great runners around me so I just tried to stay cool and warm-up the best I could...as athe racea got closer I really had to pee and so I startead to look for a placea to go as all the bathrooms had very long lines around them and there were tons of people milling around for the start of the race...finally I see a place to go so I shot around corner and, like superman, started to undress as I headed toward I was going to use the bathroom...as I rounded the corner, well exposed, I swerved and almost fell down trying to avoid, no otaher than, Joan Benoit, who had already found this place to relieve herself...we just both kind of looked at each other and she took off to finish her warm-up...

I have a Craig Virgin story as well.

Several years ago, they had a race where they had Egg Nog as the only refreshment after the race. There was plain egg nog (yuck), and egg nog that was spiked with various libations. After drinking my way up and down the coolers for a spell, I was quite hammered. They announced my name as the winner of the race, and I literally crawled across the stage on my hands and knees to get my trophy from Craig.

Fortunately, my father had come to the race with me because he had to drive me home. It was the only time I've been drunk before 9 a.m.

A few weeks after i had finished Once A Runner i was cooling down after a tempo run. As i was slowly dragging my ass along a car pulled up to me and the guys in it started giving me shit. They got tired of it and sped away. A few blocks later i saw them at a stop light and had what seemed to be a great idea. I sprinted up to the back of the car bounded up to the top of the roof and was about to have my moment of glory when the light turned green. The put it to the floor and i summer saulted backwards onto the pavement.

elguapo16 wrote:

You mean, kinda like a tragic comedy?

idealist wrote:

It's like watching a tragedy and a comedy happening simultaneously.

But then somebody would have tried to turn it into "tragicomedy," and that would just be wrong.

In an outdoor meet two years ago, our team was running the DMR. Our 800m guy came in, and was finishing pretty strong, handing off to the 400m guy. Well, during the hand-off he stepped on the back of the 400 guy's spike and it came off about 45 meters later. The guy almost ran a PR in the 400 with one shoe, and a long black sock hanging halfway off his foot by the end of the race. It was classic.

At the same meet I was in the 4xmile, but one of our runners didn't show up, so we just walked off the track after 3 legs. The next day at school we had it announced that we had shattered the school record of 19:44, and a national record by running like 15:55 or something. We also played dodge brick that meet, and our coach put us in time-out under a tree, but that is not track related.

At track practice one day the distance guys had finished up our workout and were stretching near the start of the first turn. On the homestretch the hurdlers were working out with those bungee harnesses. One of my best friends takes off down the track with the other guy hanging back to give resistance. As they do this the person behind is supposed to jog along slowly.

Well, apparently the guy giving resistance is off in La La Land, because he's just standing there unaware anything is going on. My friend is heading down the track, getting tougher and tougher resistance...and suddenly just leaps forward as the rest of us hear the distinct sound of extremely stretched rubber cutting the air. The cord released from my friend, shot back about 40 m down the track and nailed the other hurdler square in the thigh (lucky for him it wasn't a few inches to the side). We hear a loud screech of pain and he IMMEDIATELY has a deep purple bruise snaking down his leg from where the cord hit him...

I do have another one (related to others that have been posted):

In high school, one of the shot put guys was sitting in the bleachers and took down his sweats to put on Icy Hot because it was a cold spring day in Ohio. He had NOTHING on underneath and didn't realize it until one of the cheerleaders told him he was naked. I didn't see that part, but must not be too fun to have a girl see it on a cold day like that. The oddest thing about it was that one of the mothers in the stands also noticed, and she said, "Oh my." and pretended to fan herself as if she were hot. From then on, that mother was the talk of many of the guys on the team and how they all wanted to "do her."

Well, I have another treadmill story to add to the mix. I was teaching a p.e. class at an Ivy league school and let me tell ya something about those kids....athletically inept (not all of them, just a very high percentage) but very smart. One of my students asked me to help him figure out the treadmill so I assisted. I could tell he had absolutely no coordination nor any ability to work the damn thing. He started jogging at a pretty decent pace for him and decided to up the tempo a little bit as his confidence grew larger. Well, somehow while he was trying to increase he lost eye contact with the mat and got shipped off the back of the treadmill in a tumbling fighting motion like mentioned before. That was the first time I had ever seen anything like that in my life so I was trying to hold in the laughter. Before I could get over to help him, he tried to run back on to the end of the treadmill, that was an even better and more violent spill than the first!!

Me and some dude are having a treadmill battle at the gym at work.

The pounding is so loud that the fat chick on the stairmaster has to give me and evil look and get off to go turn up the TV.

The other guy, this cocky, tune-belt wearing bastard thinks he is going to out-run me. So I jack it all the way up to 12mph and give the guy the "follow me now -bitch" look.

Both mills are plugged into the same extension cord and after about 30 seconds of maxing out my machine- the power dies.

I go flying into the dashboard and get the wind knocked out of me. The other guy bounces off of the railing and falls out the side.

I am on my knees trying to get my breath. The fat chick smirks, then goes and turns down the volume.

I see a trend of truly intelligent/learned people not being too treadmill savvy (jk).

Hopefully know one minds if I double-dip, but I've got another incident that was sort of embarrassing (actually I have several, if anyone wants to borrow).

Background....

Not long after we had moved into a new neighborhood, I was talking with the neighbor, and he had mentioned how he has seen me out run out of the house a couple of times to go for a jaunt. I replied that, yeah, I do run more than the norm, and that I still have some lofty goals that I'm not quite ready to give up on. This by itself was sort of embarrassing, cause he was just like, "OK......", and I felt like a dork as you could hear the distant crickets.

Embarrassing Story...

The following weekend, my Wife (who was 8mos pregnant and very large out front... carried the baby all up front) wanted to go on a run (she's run through all her pregnancies... of course slower and slower as they progress). I had a tempo run on the docket that day, so we decided the best plan was for me to do the tempo run, and then do an easy 2-3 together afterwards. The tempo was on the long side for me (don't know how kk does 20 at marathon pace regularly), and I kept an eye on my watch a little too much, turning the last couple of miles into all out race the clock instead of tempo. I was dead, but I was going to whatever was necessary uphold my obligation to run with my babe (it gets old for her to run with the jogger everyday, especially when she's pregnant).

Even though we're going 10min pace, I'm struggling and wondering if I can keep from falling off the pace. We get about 200 meters from our house and our oldest lil' one tosses the sippy cup out of the stroller, and my Honey thoughtfully takes to pushing the stroller while I retrieve the tumbler. After I pick up the cup, I looked up to find her cruising home... obviously baiting me to a race. OK, keep in mind I'm wiped and she has probably 40meters on me in a 200m race, but I was game, nontheless. I gave it all I had and was all grimaces, kneck veins (and maybe even wussy hyperventilating sounds) as I was gaining on my pregnant out-to-here (hold your hand WAY in front of your stomach) wife who was pushing the jogging stroller. Would have been fine, but just before my last few dying desperate steps, I saw my neighbor. He had the most astonished look on his face as he could not help but actually physically shake his head.

I think we were both embarrassed. He knows I am a decent runner now, but we still to this day have never mentioned this occurrence.

JEH,

The first story was MUCH better - should have let that second one go. Leave the stage with the audience wanting more.

Ah - just kidding brother! Good story.

A funny, but not entirely embarassing, similar story:

Back when I had no illusions but wanted to see how good I could get, I found a nice long, out of the way uphill road to train on. Took me about a minute and a half to go up, and got progressively steeper toward the top. I would do 8 to 10 efforts, regularly.

There was a housing complex near the top of the hill, and a bus stop. One day I'm doing my 8 hills, and there's two little old ladies waiting for the bus. I really put it all out on the last one, and try not to slow down at all when it gets steep, and end up a sodden, gasping wraith, hands on knees, staring at the little cracks in the pavement.

I finally look up, chest still heaving, and one of the ladies looks at me, shakes her head, tsk-tsk-tsks, and says (in a perfect New York/Jewish mother accent that an actor will kill for) "The Olympics you wouldn't make." It did happen to be an Olympic year.

One embarrasing moment for me, (although I'm sure there are many!!)

As a High School Sophmore, 1980, I was a typical distance runner, skinny, goofy, geeky....went to a pretty large invatational and ran the mile and the 2 mile. During the 2, which was run first, I kept having this god awful wedgie, had to keep reaching in my arse to adjust my shorts. Probably lost 10 seconds doing this. Can't remember my time, but I had to have suck as I barely remember anything about the race, well other than that after as I walked up into the stands to put on my warmups one of the girls on the team asks me if my shorts were on backwards. Quick trip to the bathroom fixed it!!

Once at a dual meet during the 4 x 200 relay, (I was observing not running!!) It was cold as shit, typical early spring day in Michigan. Our anchor man who was one of the fastest kids in Michigan, decides to wait until the last second to strip down from his sweats. Third leg comes flying around the corner, other team breathing down his neck. Anchor leg jumps out of his sweats, hits his spot and starts scream for the third leg to "go, go, go.." It was about then that he realized it was a bit more chilly than expected...he looks down, as we are laughing to hard to say anything. You got it, he left his shorts in his warmups...with the legs of the warmup pulled wrong side out. He looks down the track at the third leg getting closer and closer, back at the warmups and makes the decision to get the shorts on. Jumps back off the track, struggles to get the shorts out of the sweats, gets them on, jumps back on the track, just in time to take off, recieve a picture perfect handoff, and anchor the team to a win. The discussion afterwards was hilarious, third leg said he sees the guys jump on the track but didn't realize he was only wearing a jock, when he jumped back off he could figure what the hell was going on. All he was was an empty lane until the guy jumps back on. Anchor guy says he had a mini discussion with himself as to whether he should try to get the shorts on or run in the jock. His split second decision was based upon the fact that he actually figured that because he would be in a different uniform he could have been dq'd for having different...errr...shorts.

Last one...a female masters marathoner friend of mine..(2 time trials qualifier) tells a story of having a great training run of about 1:45. She wanted to know the distance so she gets in her car afterwards and proceedes to drive the course to measure it. She even go thru the pains to "drive the tangents". Every thing was going well, until she pays a bit too much attention to her speedometer and drives into a parked car!!