i think i'm depressed - running feels like the only thing that helps

i'm not lonely though - i have a good amount of friends both on and off the team whom i enjoy spending time with (even on early morning saturday runs lol). i just am feeling depressed

I am so sorry that you are suffering. Here is Bible verse from the New Testament book of Romans that has meant a great deal to me.

“Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death.”
‭‭Romans‬ ‭8‬:‭1‬-‭2‬ ‭NIV‬‬

Have you seen a psychiatrist?

I was somewhat depressed my freshman year. I was slightly faster (but was old for my grade) and I always felt insane pressure to perform at every meet, and I also was spending a lot more time on academics than in HS which left me with almost no free time.

I also had a series of compounding events that made me want to quit the team but I’m glad I stayed. I had a C on a big exam, had a few bad races in a row, and discovered that my ex was cheating on me. That put me into a bad mental state, but I spoke with a counselor who helped me deal with it and that really helped. By the end of the semester, I was running pretty big PRs, had just under a 4.0, and had a new gf who was actually faithful.
I assume your college will have a counseling / mental health department - could you make an appointment with them? Keep your chin up and it’ll get better, I promise

All great points. Agree 100%

Hey man, I know what you're feeling. I shared some of your struggles in college, as did some of my friends/teammates. It's definitely not uncommon to feel this kind of way this time in college, but how you respond to it can definitely be important.

The best piece of advice I can give you is to try to find a reason or reasons for why you feel the way you do. In the end, medicating your feelings, no matter how you do it, will never be a long-term solution. Like people have mentioned, there could be a lot of reasons why you feel the way you do: diet, a monotonous life, school, sleep, etc. etc. etc.

If you have considered most part of your life and are still unsure, I would really encourage you to consider your spiritual life--perhaps it's not something you reflect on or think about at all. If you aren't a believer in spirituality, I might suggest that it's possible your neglect of this could be contributing to your struggle.

I want you to know that for me, reading the Bible and seeking to grow my relationship with God made a really big difference in my struggle with depressive thoughts. The Bible brought to light a lot of things I've just never been able to put a finder on in my life.
Sadly, some of my friends still struggle on a daily basis... but if it weren't for God, I probably would have been stuck in some of the same destructive lifestyles they're living out. Many people, like me, see the Bible as a way to connect with God, but it's also a collection of wisdom that will point anyone seeking sound advice in the right direction. It's a book that teaches how to overcome obstacles in life. The best part is that the Bible is easily accessible and guides to reading it are available everywhere.

I'm not trying to plug this to be judgmental or hateful--I just want to share with you what helped me. A couple verses that I feel are really helpful for this are in Matthew 11:28-29 when Jesus said: “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls."

I really hope you find what's causing your struggle, bro. I just said a prayer for you before I go to bed now. God bless you.

sorry lil bro, lrc deleted all real posts about how to help you find a girlfriend becuse the mods are man hating liberal quacko commies. avoid this site for your mental health. for real

My wife lets me watch her ride our toilet plunger. You should find a girl like her.

Lol - I know you’re joking, but that would definitely be a sight to see

You'll hear all sorts of advice, some of it good. Some of it less so. Some might work for you, other advice may not. You've made it over the biggest hurdle in that you understand that your're likely depressed. You understand that your sexuality may play in a role in why. Lastly you've found something that helps you cope (running). Continue to build on all of those. Maybe the best advice I can give you as a formerly depressed kid (I'm 50 now) is to not be afraid to seek help. Go see your doctor. Make sure everything is good medically. They may even start you on a medication to help, and then refer to a therapist. If you have suicidal thoughts or have even a concern that you may be unsafe in the not too distant future, go to the emergency room, or call 911. You're somebody's son, grandson, uncle, friend, neighbor.... There are people that love you, and will continue to love you regardless of your sexual preference. Will everyone accept you unconditionally? No, and you'll find yourself disappointed by people you thought were better than that. But you'll also find that most people simply don't care, and love you and value you no matter what. I wish I could say life gets easier as you get older. Unfortunately, it doesn't. But what does get easier is figuring out the ways you best cope with life's challenges. Whether you run 100 miles a week, or you need continual medication and therapy, you'll figure out what works for you - and with that comes peace of mind, and the ability to tackle the obstacles that adulting presents on a pretty much daily basis. Your insight shows you're already off to a good start. Good luck with everything, and know that while it may feel you are alone, nothing could be further from the truth. See you on the roads.

Just know that seeking any sort of escape through sexual perversions will only lead to worse problems. Unfortunately, our sick society seems bent on destroying young people these days. I hope you turn to wholesome things that can bring you fulfillment.

ignore him, and listen to what "CopperRunner" and "formerly depressed" are saying.

Also, have you considered that you may be suffering from seasonal affective disorder?

Good point - if you’re from a warm or sunny climate and go to college in a cloudy or cold place, the weather may be affecting you much more than you think.

just wanted to say thanks to most people for their comments. i've made an appointment with my college's counselors / mental health department and will be going there soon. i also had neglected my spiritual side but i've begun to make efforts to reconnect with that more. i'll hopefully update this thread in a month or so with a positive update

i'm an independent.

and what tf do you mean by "destroying young people"?

I currently have virtually the same experience - both with respect to your former and latter points. This thread has made me feel better though. Wondering if anyone else has experienced this

I had many of the same problems as you as an 18 year old. My Dad had fled the family, my Mom was in rehab, and I was broke and alone. I couldn't tell whether I was down all the time due to stress or prone to depression or both. Elder's advice seems sound and I went through the cycles he describes: doctor, medication, therapy, and most important, finding and sticking with a social group. Your running helps with the latter. The sexuality issue is hard, but I have many friends who realized who they really are and came out much better as a result. Remember, for every careless jerk, there are good people out there who don't want you to suffer. It is hard to be patient and find them.

My horrendous running is actually the depressing part for me. Zombies move faster.

Saw this article today. Did you feel bored / depressed during the pandemic? Personally, I felt somewhat isolated since I wasn't seeing most of my friends daily or even my acquaintances, but I lived close to a few of my friends so we'd work out / hang out basically every day. We also had a fair amount of classes together which was nice since that helped connect us

Just ran across this thread. I'm trying to be as generic as I can be (for personal anonymity), but I was on Newbury Park's team sometime in the past 5 years.

By the way you phrased your post, and by a couple of your later comments, I'm getting the sense that you're relatively libertarian or apolitical (if I to guess, fiscally conservative and socially moderate,libertarian, or mildly liberal) and that you don't have "the voice". Many team members had suspected that Nico was quite soon after meeting him. We were in a (relatively) liberal area so virtually nobody cared though. Still, you're at college and I assume it's not BYU or a similar one so I assume most people would support you, and as Copper Runner said "they weren't really your friends before found out" if they don't support you