Funniest thing you have seen at a race

A local former elite (mid-32 10k woman) was running a po-dunk 5k here in town. As usual, the cops screwed up the course and I ran a world record 12:21. I just chalked it up as a workout and planned on fartleking afterwards to make up some effort. No big deal.

Well, at the turn where the cops screwed up I could hear this former Olympian cussing like a drunken Russian sailor. She proceeded to yell for the last 1.25 miles of the race (I could hear her 400m back screaming and cussing), finish the race and head over to the cops and start ripping them a new one. I swear, I didn't think any one person could utter so many profanities without the aide of an intoxicant. Another local who (though a man) would often race her, went over to tell her to shut up. They almost got into a fist fight. Literally. The cops had to drag him away from her.

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Also, seeing two DI guys (a 3:45 1500m runner and 29:00 10k runner) do a relay in the same team's female apparel with wigs was pretty humorous once. Each guy ran two loops dressed in sports bras, tights and wigs with bras stuffed and all. Of course the 10k guy was all of 5'4", 110 pounds and the 1500m guy was 170, 6'2". Frightening women if I've ever seen any.

Was warming up for a mile race in St. Paul (Rice Street Mile). This race takes place in the evening at 6:00 (at the end of happy hour) right before a big parade, so the route was lined with children.

Doing my warm-up, a drunk guy comes out of the bar. Sees all the runners doing some stride-outs, gets a big grin on his face and decides to jump in. He staggers about 12 steps (not in a straight line) and face plants.

Nice visual for the kids, buddy.

mr obvious wrote:

I was running a marathon in Florida. They also started the half marathon at the same time. At about the mile mark, we had to cross an intersection. The cop puts his hand up and stops traffic as the first group goes through the intersection. There is a small gap between them and our group. As we are coming to the intersection, the cop turns, holds his hand up to stop us and starts waving the cars through the intersection.

and then what happened? I gotta know, I'm really angry with that cop, too angry to see the funny side.

Rice St. is a fun race. I've run it and saw snaps (those little fireworks that you throw and they make a "snap" sound when the hit) thrown at the racers by the spectators. The queen candidates also get booed by people.

At a recent local 5km race there was a husband and wife team wearing camel back water thingies. Musta been Newbies cause who needs a drink in a 5km. They looked ridiculous.

Also the 1983 Halifax Alpine 10 miler was sponsored by Oland's brewery and at the finish area in the Halifax Commons they had many barrels of their best product on ice. Of course it was polite of the local winos to leave a few cans for the runners, because they were passed out like dead flies around the field, drunk as skunks.

the_truth wrote:

well..if you were a bit older, you would know the movie "Team Wolf"

ha, thanks. I am old enough to know it was not called "Team Wolf" but rather "Teen Wolf". I assumed the original poster always thought his teammates were saying "team" when in fact they were saying "teen" and all these years he has been mistaken just like yourself.

In other news, when I was in high school there were no tryouts for our team, which is funny I think because we were a huge school and had a pretty big team, half of whom did not contribute (points) at meets. Anyways, my senior year I was primarily a hurdle guy and this one sophomore kid SUCKED at pretty much everything including the hurdles. One day he turns to me and my friend and says "I don't get it, in practice I usually do amazing but at meets I don't do well". We almost couldn't contain the laughter and from that point on we started calling him "Amazing Man".

Fast forward 4 years. I was visiting my sister in Wilmington, NC and I noticed on her AIM buddylist that there was a sn called Amazing Man. I asked her who it was and it was THAT KID. She was like, "Oh yeah that was his nick name all through high school and no one really knew why". And I proceeded to tell her exactly why and she was very amused. I couldn't believe that nick name stuck and people called him that after we graduated. Apparently no one knew the joke except me and my friend and I think this Kid really thought he was amazing.

When I was in college we had an indoor meet at our place. It was not a big meet, but there was a school there from about 2 or 3 hours away. The meet ended, and our head coach was putting some things away when a guy approaches him and informs him that we fell asleep in some pole vault mats and his team left him. Our coach had to leave a message with the other teams coach and eventually they had to meet half way to get the kid home.

must not have been a very popular kid on the team.

Racing Funnies wrote:

The other was at the same race another year. A guy was doing the race on crutches. No joke. He was literally propelling himself along with a bad leg and one crutch at about 6 minute mile pace. I've never seen anything like it. Eventually I passed him, but it would have been embarassing to be beaten by an injured dude using crutches.

When I broke my foot when I was 19 and was in a walking boot and crutches, I was faster than many of the people riding bikes on campus. I'd take huge "strides" with the crutches, pull myself forward and push off hard. I got many many amazed looks as I'd blow by someone walking (or running or riding a bike). This wasn't any special skill on my part. One really can cruise on crutches and a walking boot.

My freshman year, there was a kid in my grade who was pretty fast for a frosh but was a complete moron. During the first big invitational he was running in the JV race and doing alright but just couldn't deal with people passing him. This one kid passed him, a kid on a team whose coach was good friends with our coach, and he punches him in the face. The kid falls down and rolls off to the side of the course with a bloody face.

Also my freshman year, me and some of my friends were talking about doing a flying V at the finish of a race, but that seemed too lame. We decided instead to do a flying penis. It consisted of a line of 4 kids (the shaft) and a row of 3 lined up perpendicularly at the end (the sack). I guess we just love the cock that much.

1. At a big track invite, my team ordered some gigantic sub (8' or something). So, these two sub delivery guys, one carrying a handle on the front of the sub box, the other a handle on the back of the box, come into the meet, onto the infield, yelling our school's name. The meet came to a stop apart from the people racing, The sub was quite good.

2. We had a dual meet in HS. I was leading off in the 3200m relay. The host team had botched everything, on purpose, I think, because they didn't like my coach. So the meet was late, nothing was set up--just everything was a mess, and the host team's coaches were quite pleased with themselves. So, I led off the relay and (I look back at this and think that it wasn't quite appropriate--it affected the poor kid I was running against more than the coaches from the other team, but, I guess I was exhibiting the judgment of a 17 year-old at the time) took the lead, and was totally screwing around, running in circles, running backwards, flexing, etc. I ran my fastest time of the season (it was early on), and I ran even splits. I should have realized from that the importance of running closer splits and relaxing, but, I didn't.

3. We were lining up at a freshman meet for an 800. My teammate was a few people down from me. I yelled over to him, "Ed. Like we talked about. You'd better go under 2:01 today." I heard at least one guy say, "2:01, I'm going to get lapped!" (I think Ed was running 2:12 at the time or so, but the reaction of the kids at the line was hilarious.)

4. We hosted a XC invite (5k). So, we're lining up to start, and our team calls for blocks, which were promptly brought out. That got a few chuckles.

5. My buddy was sitting in a stall at a XC meet with a paper. I was talking to him, washing my hands or something, and he said, "And now, some baseball scores. 5-4. 3-1. 4-3. 6-2 [etc.]" He did this for a minute or so, and 10-15 guys walked out of the bathroom with a very strange look on their field.

6. We were at a night meet. It was cold, raining. Colder than 40 degrees. Everyone else was huddled under the bleachers. Our team had 3 tents set up, with TVs and two grills going. I heard this sprinter say, when asked by a buddy if he wanted to buy something from the concession stand, "No way man, I'm having dinner with [my schools name]!"

the_truth wrote:

well..if you were a bit older, you would know the movie "Team Wolf"

Amazing... you're an idiot. Respectfully of course.

This has absolutely nothing to do with running, but it's a funny story.

My brother, back in highschool, was in a band named Ragnarok. A Norse god of some sort.

Anyway, the band was not good. But they got a gig, a first gig: at a school for the deaf.

They were psyched. They drove over there, set up, and played. The deaf kids got into the music. They came right up and put their heads against the PA system-- in the direct line of fire. Deaf kids can apparently feel the vibrations, even if they can't hear anything. They danced, too. Well, jumped around.

And best of all: the teachers told the band, Turn it up as loud as you want! What highschool band doesn't want to hear that?

The trouble didn't start until people at our school--a school for non-deaf "normals"--found out about the gig. Can you imagine being a highschool band that gets known for playing its one and only gig at a school for the deaf? Imagine the kind of ragging they took. Kids are merciless. Utter shame.

That is even funnier than the Maury Show thread.

I ran the first "Sweetnes" run outside of Chicago. We were hearded over to the start. We were all standing around talking and such. I didn't even know which way were would be heading. Turns out I'm right on the line. There are no announcements or anything. All of a sudden, BOOM! They shot off a small cannon (about 24") about 20' away from us. Scared the shit out of all of us and I'm facing the wrong way. I'll never forget that start.

1. A few guys on my high school team used to pick up road-kill on runs and put it in people's mailboxes.

2. We had this one guy who ran 46 mins for 5k regularly eat a massive breakfast at Big Boy an hour before every race. We're talking Pancakes, sausages, eggs, bacon, orange juice, hot chocolate and biscuits.

3. Another goon in high school (who some how got voted in as captain, maybe for this) was late for practice one day.This was one of the only days we ever got to practice with the girls team and we were all in a big circle stretching. So, he comes rolling up on his bike to the bike rack next to everyone and goes to apply the brakes but they don't work. He hits the bike rack and goes over the handlebars and rack and lands on his shoulder. The bike fit into the rack perfectly.

4. And one day I had my shorts pulled down in front of a drivers training class just before we started running. They were lined shorts and I wasn't wearing a shirt. Being stark naked in front of 20 soon to be 10th graders is a very humbling experience for a high school senior.

zatogold wrote:

one guy who ran 46 mins for 5k

Is this even possible? Is it possible to propel oneself forward at 15:00 per mile pace and still claim to be "running"?

I've seen guys run 20:00 who are working hard, but with a 46:00 "run" the guy must stop on the side of the course for a 20:00 nap or something.

Funniest thing? That's easy:

Bob Kennedy getting outkicked by Adam Goucher in a 5K after Kennedy had gone out of his way to declare his mile speed was every bit as good as Goucher's. (Prior to the race, much had been made of the possibility that Goucher might have an advantage in the 5K based on his superiority over Kennedy at the mile distance.)

Was running the Lake Geneva Marathon a few years back. Crasy friend of mine comes up behind me and pulls down my shorts to the point where I stumbled as the waist was around my knees. As I'm pulling them back up, I see my friend go up to a girl with a baby jogger. He grabs the jogger and takes off much faster than the girl. She's looking around at us like "what just happend". I tell her "he's okay. Well he's not okay but your baby is safe." He ran about 30 yards till he ran by a girl. He says "I'm tired of pushing my baby. You take him" and he takes off fast. Now we have another girl looking around with that WTF look on her face.

It all turned out okay in case you were worried.

I pooped my pants running a leg of the relay for life once. Had to finish without underwear. A little embarrasing at the time, but funny now.

I tripped once running the 400 hurdles, about 3 feet before the hurdle, and fell head first into the hurdle, rolled through it and got up and finished the race. What makes it funnier is my gf at the time was joking before the race that if I fell she would run out screaming "my baby, myy baabbyy!". Thankfully she didn't add to my shame.

Cramps in the hamstring on the busride back from a meet, or at dinner after the meet, the unmistakable wincing of the face and attempts to straight the leg out in a confined space is always humorous!

I had my quads cramp up after running some hills in college. It was a mile jog back to the track afterwards, and they started cramping. Since this had never happened before, I thought it would be cool to flex them and see what they looked like. Bad idea! It hurt to walk for a week.

The other week I was standing on the side of a trail waiting for my brother(who's married and has a kid) to come. Just as he pulls into the parking lot on the opposite side of the trail, 2 groups of girls come into view. I'm standing there watching the first group run by, highschool girls, and I see my brother leap out of the car and sprint through the parking lot after them, he gives chase for a few seconds, then turns and jogs to me, and arrives opposite of the trail just as the second group of women(middle aged, who saw this whole ordeal developing) come by. So I say, rather yell, to him, "why you didn't bring your wife and kid today?" The women got a nice little chuckle out of it, and I thought it was halarious.

and finally, didn't happen while running, but I learned to do a backflip standing on a polevault or highjump mat. We I decided one day I would try a backflip from a hardwood floor. Made it about 3/4 of the way around, landing on my knees and hands. Very surprised I didn't break anything.