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RE: Post-nuptial shutoff?
So glad to see this thread resurrected! I've posted several times and will give an update. First: a response to the above poster:

I suggest a couples' counselor (female). Really. Voice of authority and a safe space. Wife will feel safer with a female counselor, and it will work to your benefit.

So... married 20 years. Had some rocky times the last several months (nunya biz), but now on the road to restoration and reconciliation.

SO: the first month after several of, uh, non interaction led to such amazing intimacy that my wife had to go for an MRI (you'll have to use Google to figure out what I'm saying, but she's fine so it's a good thing). It's like being newlyweds all over again.

I highly recommend Home Improvement Ministries marriage retreats. If you're not religious, no big deal: the seminars apply to all (and the food and accommodations are WELL worth the meager price). VERY useful for reestablishing communication and intimacy. VERY open about, uh, that three letter word we are talking about.

Yes, I am extraordinarily fortunate, but what I *have* learned is that if you are "nice" to your wife (whatever that means to her), she will be "nice" to you. Seriously. It's not her, bub: it's YOU.

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