Backstory: I divorced my wife and moved away from my young family about 22 years ago. only saw them a few weeks out of the year.
Very distant. But my sons...are just off. Any advice on how to make them normal?
You answered your own question. You ditched them 20 years ago and now they're distant.
What would make them more normal to you? Should they be married with 3 kids ready to be abandoned? Maybe you could invite them to hang out and drink all day with you. I'm just guessing you're an alcoholic, But maybe you own a multi million dollar company. Maybe you could bring them into your high powered circle you roll with.