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RE: Robert Young announced that he will run the New York 6 day race
A summary (with apologies to Lin-Manuel Miranda and A. Ham)

How does a pudgy, pasty, connoisseur of tasty sausage
Rolls, Brit, decked out in his Skins kit, sit and yet
Pretend to be fit enough to turn a
10 mph vacation
Into a record run across the nation?

He started all alone way back in Cali
Got a lot farther by riding in the RV
By watching football on the TV
By playing lots of Frisbee
And by Kansas, his mileage was going over seventy

And then one night, Asher Delmot went to run
with him and there was no sign of anyone
around. It was clear no running was being done
So Asher shot some video that would be sure to stun

And he posted it on Letsrun, and chaos began to reign
Our man saw his future drip, dripping down the drain
Put his running shoes on, looked out the window pane
Headed out into the traffic lane, and finally started to strain

Well, the word got around, we said, “This run is insane”
Took up a collection just to send us to complain
“Get him on the road, actually running that’s our plan
We’re all gonna know your name. What’s your name, man?”

Robert HP Young
My name is Robert HP Young
And there’s a thousand miles I haven’t run
And never will, never will . . .

In Emporia, I contacted an employee at Mr. Gs
Car wash to see what was on their CCTVs
Someone walked by and I asked Rob what he wore

Is that Rob Young or is that a crack whore?

The RV got stuck in the desert with no trees
So Rob set off running with the temp at 95 degrees
Covered 36 miles or was it 21?
There’s a segment missing that he clearly didn’t run.


Lots of folks with nothin’ better to do
Started digging into past races
Searchin’ for a clue from the empty spaces
Or a video where his face is
And a picture started comin’ into focus into view
The run was all fake and he was scammin’ all of you
Scammin’ for every penny he can get a hand on
Plannin’ for the future but now he has no leg to stand on
He claims he’s been truthful all the while
“In New York I’ll release the Strava file”

In New York I’ll
Release the Strava file—
In New York I’ll
Release the Strava file—

But I never will!

Robert HP Young

We are waiting for the Strava files

You could never release
You never tried to run it all!

Oh, Robert HP Young

When Letsrun comes after you
Do you know that all your fame
Will be lost in their little game?
Your world will never be the same, oh

The run has finally ended now
Not long after Laz met him

He wanted to “continue”
But his big(?) toe wouldn’t let him

Letsrun destroyed his rep
Let’s hope we can forget him


We followed him


Me? I trolled him


Me? I trusted him


Me? I exposed him


And me? I’m the damn fool that started this thread about him


There’s a thousand miles he hasn’t run
And never will!


What’s your name, man?


Robert HP Young!

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