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No one in particular
Running and Obsession/Addiction/Depression
I am not a fast runner. I was never even a runner. But I became one.
I was a smoker, I was a fat slob, and now I can run. It frees me, but it also has become my life crutch.
As many others, especially those who had never run in HS or college, I have become obsessed with running.
I am not the only one. From all the blogs I've read, videos I've seen, and people I've talked to, runners, and especially mid-life-crisis hobby-marathoners, are completely obsessed with their running.
Wake up early, eat healthy, run, think about running all day at work, talk about running to anyone you see (and who of course doesn't care), sleep early and do it all over again.
For no glory. For most of us, of course it's a personal challenge. But once you did it, should you do it all again? Is it that important to break 4 hours, 3:30, 3? Perhaps. I am all for doing the best with what you've been given. I'm all for transcendence.
But this has a cost. Your gf, your wife, your kids, your career. Keep things and perspective. It's hard to balance. I am 30 years old and have only been running 3 years, and I know I personally think more about scheduling my spring or fall marathons than thinking of (and applying to) new jobs, and focus on moving up (I do earn 6 figures, but I know I am about 5% focused on my career at the very most).
I am not the only one in that vicious circle. Some of you are faster, and can run 1:10 halfs. That still isn't sufficient. We are not pros. Yet we behave 95% like them and train not so much less.
I love running and never want to give it up. I can't however live in the fear of injury, and feel at a total loss when it strikes. I can't rely on running to cure my depression, while becoming my addiction. I am an INTP, I am obsessed, I like numbers and lists and stats and schedule.
Running had been waiting for me to find it my whole life. But running has no responsible gaming department. I need to grow up and address my own issues, instead of "studying" tempos and VO2max.
I know I am not alone. I hope some of you find good balance. I just know many of us hobbyjoggers focus way too much mental energy in something that used to be a hobby and has now become a costly center of our lives.
How does this happen?
Thanks for reading my rambling rant. This post had no point other than laying down my thoughts. If you relate at all, please feel free to respond with your honest advice.
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