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so tired
RE: Post-nuptial shutoff?

sexlessrunningchica wrote:

Thanks Dr. R - I will suggest it to him, although I fear he is getting sick of my "suggestions."

To the poster who noted the difference between making love and sex - I think that is a good point and has a lot to do with maturity. I think my husband thinks about sex as raw passion, and when we do have it, it is always like that. He is just not turned on by the prospect of "making love". The trouble is raw passion fades over time and many women want a man to make love to them in a kind, gentle and caring way - at least some of the time. That starts way before the bedroom as many posters have said. In terms of my situation, I am worried that love and sex/making love go hand in hand, so as the sex fades so will the love.

It just seems callous to leave a man b/c of sex, and there is no way I could do the sex on the side thing.

I don't understand how he can get sick of your suggestions- the sex is obviously very important to you, and if you two are as close as you allege, then he should not give up on trying to find a solution to the dilemna. If he says something like "this is me, take it or leave it," then I'd say it's time for a new man... that kind of ultimatum is totally selfish (and I find it hard to believe that a hetero man, even with low sex drive, would ever completely give up on sex- it just doesn't add up). Good luck.

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