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the long path
RE: Post-nuptial shutoff?

atypical wrote:

But it's natural for our brains to want maximal stimulation/growth, so to think your growth won't be stunted by being tied to somebody seems unrealistic, and for many that will lead to feelings of resentment, right?

I look at my family members that I resemble most, who are very independent minded and needs lots of time alone, and I just don't think we're built for marriage.


recently married <3 years and i hear you. in my case i made the mistake of equated getting engaged with "well, we are basically married". not the case.

i wonder a lot if i should have bailed and went it alone. seems like it would have been great now. but always hard to say. i have definitely found growth in marriage in a number of areas. but i have also felt constrained and limited in my options (not just talking about in the sack.) the conflict of marriage is tough. now, i might be out with friends and feel like i should get home or i am at home and feel like i should not go out, but stay with my wife. in the past, i might not have particularly cared what i did. but now, i am much more aware of the trade-offs i am making, even if they would not have made a big deal in the past.

perhaps it is just an idea of the limitations rather than the limitations themselves that is what bothers me.

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