Good afternoon fellow coaches and runners.
As outdoor season is officially over for the boys I coach in SanAntonio, I have had some time to brainstorm and develope a new invention. This has been a very productive sabbatical for me.
About 17 years ago, I started a thread on here about inserting a cushioned insole inside of my zoom miler spikes for additional energy return. The thread generated 177 pages of replies. I would like the same degree of discourse to exist in this thread. Like my previous thread, this topic is also a physics discussion. It has to do with the almighty and powerful law in physics that states being lighter ALWAYS means being faster because you are lugging around less weight. The only except is if you are going downhill, at which heavier is always faster.
So, without further ado, please allow me to continue with this brand new topic we have never discussed before on letsrun. Here we go. Saddle up.
I am sure that many of us on these boards, as frail and fragile as we may be; have probably ATTEMPTED a short bout of football at some point in our lifetime. I am no exception.
Virtually all of my life, I have had this "vision" and this "quest" to be playing football with a special little button that detaches the pads when I'm ready to run fast. So basically I will catch a pass from the quarterback or intercept (auskie) a pass on defense and break a tackle to an extent that I now have open field. No defenders between me and the endzone. Since I no longer need pads because there isn't anyone to tackle me, my secret little invention is a "ejector button", kinda like the ejector seat in a james bond car. This "ejector button" will automatically drop/release all pads on my body and make me 40 pounds lighter, which will allow me to outscoring everyone to the goal line and score a touchdown.
It's kinda like a Nitrous Oxide button in a race car. You gott know when the right time is to hit the button and drop all your pads.
This is a vision/quest/epiphany that i have had my entire life. I have only been able to possess and generate this epiphany because I am a scientist and was born with a very special/unique/essential understanding of how the world of physics works. It's my gift from god. Along with coaching these boys. In the world of physics, lighter is ALWAYS faster. This is exactly why certain football positions need an "ejector button" that will drop all their pads and let release the speed demon within. Its unhooking the plow. It hells bells. Its balls to the wall. Most of all.......its a wonderful and well needed invention in our society.
-the430miler
Owner, worlds best water company
Owner, teXXXas tanning salons LLC
Coach and adjunct professor
A university in San Antonio