Girlfriend bought me a fuel vest for my birthday - help!!!!

nicely

or never. She will or won't figure it out slowly and maybe never ask about it. Or she will ask about it, at which point you act nicely.

No one knows that I have a box full of cheap small backpacks that they once gave me as a gift, yet one small backpack will last years...

Just explain it's the kind of thing people use on 30 mile mountain trail runs. And you don't see yourself doing that and hence won't get much use out of it.

Say this as nicely as you can. No matter what, she'll feel a little bad because she tried to get you a nice, thoughtful gift and she missed. Happens to all of us. Even after 15 years the wife and I miss on gifts sometimes. It's a bummer, but you move on.

You wear it and like it.

you'll have to become an ultrarunner. sorry

I think the same thing happened Walmsley in 2014...his aunt knitted him up a handheld water bottle so he started running 50 milers just to save face

keeper or not? wrote:

She knows I love running but I’m a track guy who occasionally does some road stuff but nothing even close to needing a fuel vest. It just looks so lame that I wouldn’t be seen dead in it but I don’t want to hurt her feelings.

The problem is we live together so I know she’ll notice if I never use it or just toss it out.

How do I explain to her that I hate it without hurting her feelings?

We’ve been dating for 1.5 years now.

Are you 16 or younger? Who cares how "lame" you look in training equipment, that type of mentality is for high-schoolers. If you care about this girl, you keep the vest, and USE it. Even if you're not a longer distance athlete, a vest can be a great option for carrying your spikes/flats and other workout gear to and from the track for workouts. Or, on longer tempos you could carry your own fluids instead of needing to be pampered with someone on "bottle duty."

No wonder certain ultra/trail athletes are such a hot topic on these forums lately. The majority of them certainly don't have this pretty boy mentality. Just run, baby!

Are you a kid? You've already been with her for 1.5 years, do you want it to continue? I can't imagine being in a long term relationship and not able to tell the truth. What kind of relationship is that? You tell her it was thoughtful but that you don't do that kind of running and would never use it. Let her return it and get you something else. Wouldn't you rather she treated you with the same respect? To tell you the truth? Or do you want a relationship with someone where you have to lie? How will that end up long term?

Maybe you need to find a new girlfriend!

?‍♂️

Calling b s on the having a girlfriend thing.

Be an adult and tell her nicely that you appreciate her sentiment but it's just not something you can use. Most people would rather have their money used on something someone they care about for something they like and want.

if you are an A hole about it, you get what you deserve.

keeper or not? wrote:

She knows I love running but I’m a track guy who occasionally does some road stuff but nothing even close to needing a fuel vest. It just looks so lame that I wouldn’t be seen dead in it but I don’t want to hurt her feelings.

The problem is we live together so I know she’ll notice if I never use it or just toss it out.

How do I explain to her that I hate it without hurting her feelings?

We’ve been dating for 1.5 years now.

Tell her thank you and that you really appreciate the gift, however, what you really wanted was a giant box of tampons. I think the tampons will suit you much better than the fuel vest.

1.5 years and your pretend gf doesn’t know that you wouldn’t wear a silly vest like that?

Or did she read about you being a super hobby jogger on LetsRun?

Set the new “hydration vest mile” record.

just go hiking with it

Just be patient. You'll find a use for it. If you ever go for a longish run on a hot day in a new place or while on vacation, it can be surprisingly useful and let you go places you couldn't get to otherwise. Or use it on a hike sometime.

If you’re living with her, and dating for the past 5 years, you should marry her, or give her freedom to go her own way. Don’t take her youth if you have no plans to marry.

Sounds like BPD. She has BPD.

Check old threads here on borderline personality disorder. There is a large amount of them with good information.

You basically have a few options, but nothing will make things normal. Your only option is to end this. However, you must do this carefully not to fuel a BPD rage.

Listen, kid...I'm not here to play games or sugar coat things. YOU end this now. It will not get better. You explain to her it is you and not her. You do this gently and you do it right away. No matter what happens, you do not go back for sex. She will try bringing you back in this way.

She will find someone else quick (the BPD's do), but she will still want you. If you can stay away, her grasp on her new one will stay tight. She will move on.

I've seen this too often and I've seen a lives ruined. Stay confident and stay strong. Do not let this define you. You will find much better.

Has she hit you at all? Open or closed fist?

Obviously she is hinting you don't run enough to ever be any good and she doesn't want to marry a loser. Better strap on the fuel vest and start pounding out some 20 milers on the weekend.

Run longer distances