Ever since I started running in Grade 10 my goal has been to break 2 minutes in the 800 before I graduate. I know 99% of you could do that with a breeze, but that’s just where my levels at.
When I came into my grade 11 year with a pb of 2:20 people always held back a laugh when I told them my ultimate goal, but I passionately believed in myself and told myself that I would prove them wrong. I quickly somehow brought my time down from 2:20 to 2:09 in one race which caught everyone’s attention, but they forgot about me when I didn’t pb for another 7 months. However, if the final weeks of my grade 11 season I brought my time down to 2:04.66 which made my goal suddenly seem much more realistic. I felt buoyant in those final few weeks, as if I was flying, but it hasn’t continued into this grade 12 year. So far this year I’ve ran 2:09 and 2:12, which not only is slower than I was a year ago today, but is the slowest time I’ve ran since I broke 2:20. Everything just feels so slow as if my legs don’t want to move as that “buoyant flying” feeling was never there. Rather than being the prospect fighting my way up I feel like I’m on a decline and now my goal seems too far. It’s starting to feel like everything I’ve worked towards was a waste and that I was wrong all along, and honestly I’m starting to get just depressed about it. The excitement and passion for what I was fighting for that I used to feel before each race has been replaced with anxiety and disbelief, and obviously I know that not helping me.
I’m not even sure what I’m asking for you guys to do, but please help me. I simply need the motivation to somehow turn this year around.
Thanks