I've quit drinking booze and now I have no friends. Anyone else?

You can still go out with your friends and just not drink.

So you're not drinking,

But you're smoking?

Maybe quit that, too - and try running and racing.

You'd be sure to make a new set of friends - one's that don't encourage and share expensive, life-shortening habits.

I don’t drink every time I hang out with friends and they don’t drink every time either. Depends on what we are doing, if someone drove, what time we are getting up to run the next morning, etc. I know a lot of socializing does involve “going for drinks” but if you have to have a non-alcoholic drink, for whatever reason, who cares? Can you now hang out with your friends and not drink?

I quit drinking 5 years ago. These "friends" that you drink with have just proven that they could care less about you. Go make new friends. Wont happen overnight but you will find new ones. Just pursue your interests, like running

Yep

MacLeod wrote:

I quit drinking booze completely about a month ago and now no one bothers contacting me:

alone 7 days a week

weekends sat at home smoking

envy people with genuine groups to do chill/travel with

anyone else?

Hmmmm.. I've always abstained from drugs and alchohol and have basically no friends.

Someone I know goes to AA meetings and also did drugs at one point. They still smoke as well. They seem to have more of a social life than me.

You’re Fun Bobby.

Yep. Quit drinking last year. Basically lost all my friends except for the ones that just sit around at home. And people that just sit around at home aren't much fun to be around, anyways. I'm also the freak at running club that has to turn down the post-run beer.

Can't you have one or two drinks and cut yourself off?

I gambled a ton several years ago and managed to get it under control.

I will probably still gamble again in the future, but not anytime soon.

I know someone who's gone to AA but I've never gone to GA.

I mean.. I get that if it gives them support, maybe that's a good thing, but I could use some emotional support once in a while. It seems they value the AA more than spending time with me, lol.

If that's how they see it, maybe it's better we are not spending time together!

It's probably not the booze......it's you! Seriously though, you can still go out with your friends that drink and you can just order something non-alcoholic. Besides, it's always great to have someone that can be the designated driver!

My girlfriend drinks a ton and is a big bar fly. I usually hang out at bars with her just to appease her. Most of her friends (now my "friends") are also bar flies. When the day comes that I stop (or cut back severely on) drinking, it'll be interesting to see how many stick around.

Tried it and it sucks.

I'm definitely not going out sober with a group of friends that are bar hopping, pretending to have fun, i rather stay at home and puff a smoke.

Drinker with a Running Problem wrote:

It's probably not the booze......it's you! Seriously though, you can still go out with your friends that drink and you can just order something non-alcoholic. Besides, it's always great to have someone that can be the designated driver!

Hey, do you want to come sit at a table with us, watch us drink, then drive us home? Also, our fun will be rising while yours plateaus

If someone called me and said 'we're having a poker tourney tonight, $20 buy in, you in?' I would go if it was easy to get there.

You'll make new friends with other interests over time. When I was drinking a lot, I felt like my behavior was the norm and I really thought everyone drank the way I did. After I cut way back on my drinking, I discovered that there are actually a hell of a lot of people who don't drink or only drink very moderately. There are also plenty of people out there who drink, but don't make it the center of their social events (for example, if a bunch of friends want to have dinner at a jazz club and catch a show, you aren't left out of the social experience by choosing not to order a drink).

You'll find your new social circle. You'll also probably realize that people whose social life centers around bar hopping are actually pretty boring people to hang around with anyway.

OP:

It's been a month. January is a quiet time for everyone.

You need to make the initiative to make plans with your friends or find activities that lead to new friends.

A lot of people do Dry January and just lock themselves inside. That isn't the point. The point is to try and socialize and be normal without booze.

Look into hellosundaymorning or read the book This Naked Mind.

Going sober is great but you have to sort out how to be sober and that can take some time.

Keep up the good work.

Also, smoking bud is fine as long as you aren't just using it to replace alcohol.

you're a LR poster, you probably already had no friends

This is why it's so hard for addicts to change. You're not just quitting the substance; you're quitting the friends, environment, lifestyle, way you spend your time, etc. What you have to do is FIND A REPLACEMENT for these people and activities. There's going to be a crummy, lonely, transitional period where you're figuring this out, but you will sort it out, and life will get much better. Focus on getting a hobby or setting some goals that can take the place of the time you spent hanging out drinking, and find people to be friends with who have similar mindsets. Join some fitness classes, read some books, etc.

Congrats on one free of alcohol. Seriously, dude. Keep it up.

MacLeod wrote:

i rather stay at home and puff a smoke.

Then don’t complain on an anonymous message board about your life choices.