Had sexual harrasment charge filed against me at work for answering a question honestly.

cccccccrrrrrrrriiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnggggggeeeeeeeee

0/10...

This isn’t even a good story.

not pc wrote:

Last Friday my work had a holiday pajama party. This was the conversation I had:

Woman: Hey where are your pajamas?

Me: I don't have any.

Woman: Oh, come one, you must have something.

Me. Nope.

Woman: What do you sleep in then?

Me: I sleep naked.

Woman: Oh. (walks away)

I didn't think much of it. She did and went to HR. Now they are telling me this is serious and I'm getting a written warning. I never wanted to talk to her and she is the one asking me what I sleep in.

I asked my friend who is a lawyer what I should do and he told me not to talk to women at work.

Why is everyone so soft?

Ok I'll bite. You can and should argue it. You didn't start the conversation. You gave an answer and didn't continue the conversation. She continued to press, you answered again.

The fact that what you do privately that doesn't break any laws or ethical boundaries should be enough to have the write-up ripped up. Nudity is not inherently sexual (i.e art). Sleeping is not inherently sexual. You didn't show her how you sleep nor did you imply that she should see you naked.

Of course, there's two sides to every story

illbite wrote:

Of course, there's two sides to every story

Not true for stories that are just made up.

not pc wrote:

Last Friday my work had a holiday pajama party. This was the conversation I had:

Woman: Hey where are your pajamas?

Me: I don't have any.

Woman: Oh, come one, you must have something.

Me. Nope.

Woman: What do you sleep in then?

Me: I sleep naked.

Woman: Oh. (walks away)

I didn't think much of it. She did and went to HR. Now they are telling me this is serious and I'm getting a written warning. I never wanted to talk to her and she is the one asking me what I sleep in.

I asked my friend who is a lawyer what I should do and he told me not to talk to women at work.

Why is everyone so soft?

As someone who works in HR, I'd say it's less about "everyone" being "soft" and more about your own stupidity.

You did not have to announce to your female co-worker that you sleep in the nude. You could have just said that you don't sleep in pajamas and move along. But you decided to bring up nudity within the context of speaking with a female co-worker.

The fact that you think, in this day and age, that it is ok to bring up nudity (in any context) with a co-worker of the opposite sex really displays your clueless naïveté, at best, or your extreme stupidity, at worst.

It's definitely not the worst thing in the world (believe me, I've dealt with MUCH worse), but it's just using common sense.

She asked the question and now he should lie?

That's stupid.

DumbDumb wrote:

As someone who works in HR, I'd say it's less about "everyone" being "soft" and more about your own stupidity.

You did not have to announce to your female co-worker that you sleep in the nude. You could have just said that you don't sleep in pajamas and move along. But you decided to bring up nudity within the context of speaking with a female co-worker.

HR is a backwards world that is designed to take money out of people's pockets so it makes sense that you would view him answering a her question as him announcing something.

It's just the OP responding to himself trying to keep his lame thread alive.

Don't feed the boring, unimaginative troll.

you should double down on how unattractive you find your coworker. she's only doing this to make herself feel sexually desirable. as a man, you're obligated to tear her down a peg.

What was your office doing having a pajama party? Do you work at a daycare? Serious question.

Would he OP also be harassment by the coworker after repeativity trying to deflect the address from an over bearing collect, he clearly felt awkward answering the questioning.

Clearly the OP should say they felt uncomfortable, worries and stressed what to say and blurbed over the truth unless pressure of the questioning.

I’m sure most of the human race sleeps without clothes on at nighttime but the OP should have warn some random clothes and done what most people need to do and not be their actual self because of our culture now days.

If you went to an office happy hour with your girlfriend and then went home and had sex with your girlfriend, would you tell a female coworker that if they asked you what you did after the happy hour?

Unless you are independently wealthy, you have no choice about whether you want to go to work everyday. Sexual harassment laws are there to make sure that every workplace is open to everyone. That does mean that your workplace will have to be G rated. Some people are very sensitive and some are not. The sensitive people have to be respected because they have to work to survive too.

A holiday pajama party for adults? I ain't buying it.

Obviously you can fight this and not get in trouble.

Your lawyer friend is right. Everything is political and potentially a problem, particularly with women. Keep your mouth shut and professional.

The woman is not going anywhere in that company. Who would promote that?

Plenty of women out there (and men) are just waiting for any hint of a reason to sue you. Keep your mouth shut. If you ever have a conversation where you do not know an appropriate professional answer, "I don't want to talk about it," or some variation.

Precious Roy wrote:

Some people are very sensitive and some are not. The sensitive people have to be respected because they have to work to survive too.

OP is probably a troll (who TF thinks it's normal for adults to wear pajamas to bed?), but just for the sake of discussion, sensitive people shouldn't ask personal questions that are likely to elicit equally personal answers.

The vast majority of the time, a guy's answer to the question "what do you wear to bed" will be "just boxers." By asking the question in the first place, you are accepting that you are likely to hear an answer that could be considered slightly sexually provocative.

Anyway, by your logic, it could be construed as sexual harassment to ask someone what they wear to bed. What if I feel sexually harassed by someone asking me to reveal that I wear boxers/nothing to bed? My sensitivity should be respected, right?

Cat’s Pajamas wrote:

What was your office doing having a pajama party? Do you work at a daycare? Serious question.

Same here... I find it disturbing that the HR person was worried what you said being inappropriate and not worried about the pajama party at work... I also find HR personnel completely useless twits and this definitely would confirm it... Having said that, I still think this story is a poor troll attempt;)

Wall Street firms instruct male employees to NEVER, at all costs, be alone with a female coworker. A few examples are instructing men to not have a hotel room on the same floor as a female coworker. Never sit next to a female coworker on a plane. And never go into an office alone with a female.

Regarding this story, whether it's made up or not, it's a semantics question. The female could very easily think you were making a pass at her. Your tone and facial expressions are important. Maybe you unconsciously made a smirk giving her a feeling that you are hitting on her. Either way she's clearly a tightwad.

KawauchiFTW wrote:

I also find HR personnel completely useless twits and this definitely would confirm it.

I work in HR and I can also confirm this statement.

She was harassing you by asking you about personal and private things which she had no business to do.

File a charge against her.