All that being said, I'm finding that I genuinely dislike my parents as people and find them, my mom especially, to be pretty much intolerable. I only talk with my mom about one hour every two weeks or so, and even that is rough. She is very narcissistic, socially and emotionally handicapped, and repeats herself over and over and over. She also has a victim mentality and will tell me the same stories over and over and over every time I talk to her that basically amount to someone was mean to her once and she's such a victim because of it. She's told me the same story like this literally the last six times I've talked to her. What's kind of crazy is that she used to be 20X times worse, and it was bad enough that no one would really have much of anything to do with her. I didn't talk to her for 3 years because of how toxic she was and only started talking to her again because she went to therapy for 8 months and genuinely did improve a lot. But I feel like she's kind of slipping back into that same mindset of living in the past and dwelling on every little negative thing that's ever happened to her, than vomiting it at anyone who comes near her any chance she gets. It's tiresome. She's only 65. It's not dementia. She's pretty much always been like this.
I'm struggling a bit trying to figure out how to keep from not talking to her again. Seems like even when people explicitly tell her to shut up, get angry with her, explain to her why they're angry, etc, she never "gets it" at all. Right now I'm thinking I will just reduce my interactions with her to maybe 30 min phone calls once every couple months or something, but idk. She never talks about anything current, just sob stories from her past that aren't even bad stories at all, more like normal every day life stuff that she interprets almost as crimes against her. It's bizarre.