Completely Depressed D1 Runner

Seek out an academic interest, or a hobby outside of running, and pursue it relentlessly. Before you know it, you will have forgotten all about your loneliness and depression. You need a sense of purpose and direction in your life, and though a girlfriend can provide a thrill, she will ultimately distract you from seeking and defining that purpose. We find out who we truly are in the doldrums, my friend. God speed!

Have you tried any clubs for hobbies you’re interested in? Maybe some outside social interaction will help. I doubt a girlfriend will solve your problems, as this seems like an internal feeling of inadequacy that you’re trying to plug up with external sources. As someone who has experienced depression and trouble making friends, my advice is to relax and slowly start to put yourself in different social situations. I think your perspective will get better over time. It did in my experience at least, although I still struggle sometimes.

Have you tried an anti-depressant? It won't solve the problems at the core of your pain, but it'll affect how you perceive those problems and improve your quality of life and viewpoint. Personally, I am a 16:0x HS senior with a brutal academic load I can't handle and very few friends and a lack of a driving liscense , and Anti-depressants have really helped me. I would recommend Prozac, Wellbutrin or Celexa as those are the only ones not correlated with weight gain, but talking to a doctor is also a good idea.

Your industrious. Bringing these thoughts down in a few paragraphs is very useful for yourself and us trying to help.

Make it a point to get in the cross training. For myself I knew my talent wasn't there showing up to practice and elliptical, stationary bike for an hour and a half wasn't going to close the gap. I basically transitioned to two a days my daily run was replaced with my daily swim the massive distraction of not being able to swim at length was enough to go at swimming with a curiosity of trying to swim without stopping. At first it was 20mins, then 30,40 maxing at 80mins with flipturns. There was always something drills, kickboard, core.

During this time I was a manager on the team everyone knew of my extra crosstraining and when the return to running was made they were so positive and supportive.

I should mention that during this time I saw a nutritionist(my injury was a stress fracture to the femur)and got on a bone mineral supplement and fish oil.

Tell the girl you like how you feel and what’s going on. I’m a girl running in college and a guy struggling with depression pushed me away. I’m still sad about it. He had never told me it was depression he was struggling with but I had kind of figured out on my own. I wish more than anything he would have just told me what was going on. No, she won’t be able to make you happy but she can be there for you while you focus on yourself.

You should DEFINITELY post on a running forum and not get counseling from a professional.

First, this is not the place to post something like this. This forum is filled with trolls, idiots, egomaniacs, and Trump supporters (I know that's redundant because I already said 'idiots,' but bear with me).

Second, you need to find a professional if you want real answers. A few explanatory sentences are not going to get to the root of the issue. All D1 schools have mental health professionals. Go see one, even if you only go for a few sessions. She/he will offer much better advice that the people on this message board.

Lastly: a girlfriend, a trophy, being All-American, being best friends with everyone on your team, or getting a blow-job while breaking 14 in a 5k isn't going to solve your issues. At best it will bring you a temporal, fleeting sense of "happiness" that will inevitably wear off and leave you back to where you currently are. You need to learn to love yourself and to be happy with who you are as you are. Otherwise you're always going to be searching for that one thing that you think is going to bring you fulfillment...only to find out that it doesn't and leads to another search for that one thing that you think is going to bring you fulfillment...and on and on.

Please go see a professional. I don't know you, but I'm sure you have some amazing gifts and can find fulfillment and happiness in your life if you are given the mental and emotional tools to get there.

Hang in there bud.

I’m usually a douche but I was there with you in college. Running sucked, classes sucked, it all did.

I reached this point where I was just tired of it all. So I just dropped all expectation for track school girls. Just concentrated on doing my best. Just trying rather than living in this hole.

When I stopped trying to be best in class or conference champ things started going my way. Then the girls started coming because of the black cloud that was gone.

Sometimes you just have to say eff it

+1

Posts like these are exactly what we do not need. Horrible shot taken at a political party in the middle of a thread about depression. Do better.

I am sorry but I am not the best person on this advice. I think the guys above said it best and if you take their advice, it can get better. Ignore those who say this is not the place. It is important to seek help in anyway you seem fitting. God Speed.

At the end of the day if you're not happy, a girl won't fix that for you. It's true you have to love yourself first, the love/acceptance of others is unfulfilling if you aren't happy, and won't make you happy or solve any of your problems. You'll still be unhappy, just unhappy and with a girlfriend. That being said, I think having someone you're close with and feel you can talk to and be vulnerable with is important, and can be helpful. I had a similar experience in college, you're not alone and you will get through this but you have to be proactive, maybe talk to a professional and find ways to meet other people or become closer with people on your team who you may not know that well but could be good friends eventually by putting yourself out there and asking them to do something with you.

How do you know youve already pushed girls away due to feeling like they wouldn’t make you happy? You are right, a girl won’t bring you happiness. But she is maybe an understanding person who could be someone you could talk to. I pushed my girlfriend away when I was really struggling myself. Eventually, I realized how much I missed her and told her my situation and she was there for me while I took the initiative to get treatment and learn to love myself. Our relationship is great now and I owe a lot to her. Hang in there though, how you are feeling now will get better.

Appreciate all of your responses without a doubt. Would like to hear more if possible, honestly makes me feel better.

I think the girl thing is actually one of the large issues somehow. I am a pretty independent person and never really cared much about constantly being in a relationship versus single unless I had a girlfriend who I really liked/loved. Normally the people I get with, I tend to date; not a one night stand type of guy really.

But for some reason I pushed away all the girls on the team who liked me originally, and now feel like sh** since they've moved on. I like almost wish they liked me for me to have that kind of 'status' versus not having it anymore. I am not a flirt by any means but it definitely makes me feel better on the inside knowing people are actively interested in me.

I do like this one girl; she is a manager for our cross country and track team.

She is extremely pretty (the whole team knows it) and way out of my league. We talk a whole lot and she tells me about some of her problems with this one guy she's been dating but obviously not trying to push my agenda...

I tend to really want to go after very few people, and she is definitely one of them. She actually makes me look forward to shi**y practices and stuff like that, but not sure how to further our relationship since A. she has a boyfriend and B. way out of my league. I have also been taking a Yoga Class for my injuries (I know roast me) and she happened to be in it before I even found out she was the manager of the team, and we talked beforehand and she even introduced herself since I was wearing a shirt.

I'm not trying to turn this into a thread about how to pick up girls but dont say shes out of your league because it doesnt matter. If you think that way you wont be confident around her then you really wont have a chance. Considering youre at a well known D1 school and youre an athlete there that puts you pretty far ahead of other people even though you do xc

But on all the other stuff everyone goes through those times and if you can find the root of the problem you can probably find the solution. Each person is different but for me I wrote down what was important to me, and what it was in my life that wasnt fulfulling even though I pursued fun activities. The girl probably isnt the main part of your problem, its probably something else. you might not have an easy fix but it is a fact that there are definitely things within your control you can change to become happier

About the girl: The only thing that should stop you from telling her how you feel is if she has a boyfriend. If not, just ask her out and see where it goes.

I can’t 100% relate because I gave up the dream of running D1 a long time ago (I run club at a D1 school that I chose for academics), but I will say that I experienced some of this in HS. Just love yourself.

I forgot to mention this:

I completely agree with the person who said that finding a girl is not the problem. Look, having a girlfriend is something that'll fall into place if you are healthy, both mentally and physically. Well, not quite fall into place, but it'll be easier if you're healthy.

About getting healthy: This is where you have to talk to a professional. We armchair psychologists on LRC can't tell you everything you need to know, and some of this advice (hopfully not mine) will be bad. This is why you should talk to someone who knows a lot about how to help you and whose job it is to help you. Trust them, and see where you should go from there.

This is won't be a post on how to solve your problems, this is a post to say I was there and made it out. You will too.

As a freshman at a D1 school I got a major injury within 40 days of getting to campus. After that it was a very tough year. I was from out of state and didn't know anyone on campus minus the team. I became very depressed, pushed my teammates away, and stopped going to class. That semester was dreadful, I got a 2.47 GPA, hated being at school, felt empty and couldn't wait to go home. For the next 2 years I battled injury and only ran one healthy season. My grades got somewhat better, I became more social outside of running (only reason I didn't jump off a building, thank GOD for the music scene) but was still very unhappy. We had changed coaches I got injured multiple more times and the new coach didn't like me cause I had a lip ring and mowhawk.

After my 3rd year I transferred schools and went back to the state I was from. I was an hour and a half from home, lived with guys that I was friends with from high school (non runners) and ran on the team. This was the best decision I ever made. The people I lived with and hung out with became my best friends. They didn't care that I ran, or if I ran well. They just loved hanging out with me. They cared more that I played intramural basketball with them. I became engaged in school and had a 4.0. I realized there was more to life then running and became happy. Because of that I fell back in love with the sport.

I ended up being a D1 XC coach for a few years after graduation.

Now I am in my mid thirties, work at a fortune 500 company, have a beautiful wife, and amazing children. I have everything I could have wished for socially, financially and at home.

I made it, so can you. Just keep moving forward and do one thing a day that makes you happy and one thing that gets you out of your comfort zone. You got this bro.

If you don’t tell her how you feel, somebody else will. However, I think you should be upfront about your struggle as well. You might feel better just knowing you took the risk with a girl who may or may not have mutual feelings.

Bear and forbear

Sustine et Abstine

Be patient and endure