Do I need to just move on?

Yes let it go and move on.

You don’t have a choice.

Dude. You're into her. Invite her over a few times. If she repeatedly turns you down, then yeah, move on. But you have nothing to lose by inviting her over, or asking her to go out for the night with you, or whatever. So just give it a shot.

Anyway, probably a big part of your connection was being away from home for the first time ever and relating to each other in that way. Things feel more intense at your age. But its possible it's more than that, so you have nothing to lose by asking her out a few times. If she repeatedly refuses, it isnt meant to be, no big deal, hang out with other chicks.

Whatever you do, dont give her a big guilt trip or anything. Just be friendly, invite her out. If she says no, that is her right, and dont try to convince her you're soulmates, that isnt fair to her.

I saw her today by random chance and we talked for about 20 minutes. We both acknowledged that we hadn't seen each other in a while and caught up for a bit. Even though we hadn't talked in so long, the conversation was flowing as if there was never any time apart. She mentioned that she has been going through a lot and hasn't been hanging out with anyone, even some of her really close friends. Tomorrow is our mutual (extremely close) friend's birthday so I will probably see her then. I don't know how I should go about it or even if it is worth trying anything at all, all I know is that talking to her today really put me in a good mood after being down because of running and life issues.

BUMP

Yes, move on. She already told you she's not available right now. Respect her answer.

Stay friends if you want, but expect nothing more. Things may change in the future, but for now, its not happening. Don't waste your life waiting on a girl who already told you no.

She's afraid to commit. Go ahead and move on or you'll waste your time.

You will find something with someone else and you won't even think about this original girl anymore.

ca giant wrote:

I am not joking when I say I would literally be around her every day.

When you get older and more worldly-wise you'll realize that this girl told you multiple times, but not in so many words, that she found you physically unattractive and wished you would go take a long walk on a short pier. You will cringe in retrospect at how thick you were for not taking the hint, and how uneasy you made her by continuing to orbit.

The Shamen wrote:

When you get older and more worldly-wise you'll realize that this girl told you multiple times, but not in so many words, that she found you physically unattractive and wished you would go take a long walk on a short pier. You will cringe in retrospect at how thick you were for not taking the hint, and how uneasy you made her by continuing to orbit.

Using your method, “when you get older and worldly-wise you’ll realize” that people are dynamic and often change their opinions of other people, and OP may well have a shot, especially if they had some semi-close relations previously. I agree that OP should minimize contact with the other person (though not to complete zero), but he should continue to be nice and supportive. It is amazing how long a way this can go.

100%. The OP is infatuated because they connected as friends. She friend-zoned him from the jump and let it go further and used the OP physically ("hooked up") because she felt really lonely and didn't want to deal with finding a date to get relief. There is nothing in any of this that says the OP has any shot at all with her. In fact, staying in orbit basically guarantees this woman will wind up loathing the OP and will avoid him at all costs. I know, I've been in this situation a couple of times and read and played it all wrong. The best outcome for everyone is to move on and forget about her. She may indeed grow up emotionally in time or may have these issues the rest of her life. Don't waste time waiting to find out.

Sack up bro. Buy ring, get on your knee and propose. It’s the right thing to do

The Shamen wrote:

When you get older and more worldly-wise you'll realize that this girl told you multiple times, but not in so many words, that she found you physically unattractive and wished you would go take a long walk on a short pier. You will cringe in retrospect at how thick you were for not taking the hint, and how uneasy you made her by continuing to orbit.

Ha ha. ^^ Kinda true. + you're in college man. For goodness sake, the last thing you want to do is get bogged down with 1 girl. Seriously man, it sounds like your mind is playing tricks on you. Cut loose of her for a bit and LIVE. If you feel the same way in 6 months or so (and you won't), revisit.

The Shamen is probably using a little poetic license but he is essentially correct.

She has politely responded she’s not interested whenever you’ve made advances, move on.

It’s all about the LSI.

The Shamen wrote:

When you get older and more worldly-wise you'll realize that this girl told you multiple times, but not in so many words, that she found you physically unattractive and wished you would go take a long walk on a short pier. You will cringe in retrospect at how thick you were for not taking the hint, and how uneasy you made her by continuing to orbit.

I cringe and rage at the same time.

Um, no, quite the contrary. As I've gotten older I've realized just the opposite, that attraction is not something people think about or "decide upon," it's a visceral reaction that's either there or isn't, immediately, and women do not "come around" and later on suddenly decide they're attracted to some guy they were previously lukewarm or worse about; that happens only in dumb rom-coms.

You really think this girl would be telling the OP that "she is going through a lot in her personal life," or that she " hasn't been hanging out with anyone," if he were Ryan Gosling?

Women find this kind of passivity and indecisiveness unattractive. You need to be more forward if you want to have any chance.

The Shamen wrote:

You really think this girl would be telling the OP that "she is going through a lot in her personal life," or that she " hasn't been hanging out with anyone," if he were Ryan Gosling?

So much this.

OP, you have no shot with this girl. She has already friend zoned you. She does not find you to be an acceptable mate. If she did, you would know and you would not have posted this thread because you would be too busy having spontaneous sex.

Move on.

Truth Bomber wrote:

The Shamen wrote:

You really think this girl would be telling the OP that "she is going through a lot in her personal life," or that she " hasn't been hanging out with anyone," if he were Ryan Gosling?

So much this.

OP, you have no shot with this girl. She has already friend zoned you. She does not find you to be an acceptable mate. If she did, you would know and you would not have posted this thread because you would be too busy having spontaneous sex.

Move on.

I'm not sure about that. We facetimed earlier and she told me she would literally suck my dick and invited me over to her apartment. We were talking in person today, too and it casually came up that I had met randomly met a girl today and we talked for 30 minutes before I walked her home. She saw pictures of the girl on Instagram and called her a bimbo. I'm not sure if I mistook it but maybe she's (slightly) jealous? The party for our friend is tonight so if she's able to come I will see what happens. I don't know why I am entertaining the trolls of LR, but in the off chance that I get some valuable advice, it'll be worth it.

If you're going to start making stuff up I'm not sure why you even posted this thread.