Should I choose my career or the girl?

If you have to consider whether or not to dump her, then she should just dump you. She probably deserves better.

Try the long distance relationship first. I am guessing you will break up based on your comment about not being worried about dying alone. When you are in love with the one, you don't think like that. You would be thinking, "I would never want to be with someone else".

Does she love you? Why did she move?

Two things....

1) Pics

2) Name the city

Without those two data points I cannot accurately assess your situation and make an informed recommendation.

Give her the “it’s not you, it’s me” speech.

we recommend you get back to us with a question we have not already seen a thousand times before.

CAREER

This is a no brainer. If this is a serious question I'm honestly surprised.

You should know there is nothing greater in life than love.........

Hold up.

I'm not sure what she's got going for her in the "Tier 2 city", but it must be quite a lot better than your prospects in NYC to put forth an ultimatum like that. If it isn't, then there's an underlying lack of respect for your pursuit of a future among the 0.001%. Who knows when and what the next demand will be.

Be happy you shared some great years with this person, for now your roads diverge. Just make sure to actually remain outgoing and social afterwards to keep your mind off her.

Don't ever idealize a woman but look at her as she truly is. There are many, many women in the large city you live in and many of them will be willing to live in the city where you are making your career. Don't waste your time on one who wants to move away from you.

You don't have to do anything. She moved to get away from you. She is almost 100% sure that you will not move to be with her, so when you don't you are the bad guy and the cause of the breakup. I don't blame her. You sound like a pompous a$$.

Watch the movie "The Family Man"

I chose the girl--and I (fortunately) have been fairly successful.

Nevertheless, given it all to do over, I would DEFINITELY choose the career.

Why did she move away from you?

That's the first question I would ask myself.

So you have to sacrifice a career that you love? Your paths have diverged. Thank her for the time you've had together and try to remain friends. Any other course will result in resentment and unhappiness.

She’s already banging some dude in her new ‘tier 2’ city.

I don't understand why she "insists" you move with her. SHE is the one moving. Did she consult with you on her decision or did she just assume you would be okay to leave your job and start new in a city where you don't know anyone or have a job lined up?

Sounds like she is both afraid of being alone in a new city and is using this as a bit of "control" over you. If you're not engaged or married and ABSOLUTELY SURE you want to be with her for the rest of your life, I'd advise anyone against this decision....

Do not think for ONE SECOND that you'll ever be able to use the "remember when I moved for you" card on her in the future, when it comes to a decision of yours. It won't work.

The two of you obviously talked about this and agreed that it was a good decision for her to move. If she just up and moved that would be very weird and you wouldn't be considering staying with her. So I'm guessing you agreed to move and are now getting cold feet or you agreed thinking she wouldn't actually move.

Some people might tell you that you need to be honest with her and tell her how you are feeling. Do NOT do that. She will likely feel betrayed and feel like you don't value her. Instead take some time to let your feelings settle. Actually look into moving. Maybe there are remote options. Maybe there are companies you don't know about in that area. Let her know you are looking. Visit her whenever you can. In six months you will know the answer. Don't do anything is haste.

Job unless she's rich. You can get a girl with money, but you can't get money with a girl.

She'll only respect you if you don't follow her. And given she probably has a dominant personality, she won't respect you regardless.

Some women love destroying the dreams and prospects of their boyfriends/husbands.

She knows you're on the fast track to having the control in the relationship, and she resents you and your job for that.

She wants to drag you away from your dream job, and then she wants to belittle you for earning (much) less in your new tier 2 city.

And then she'll just break up with you anyway, because she couldn't possibly stay in love with a chump who dropped his dream job for a girl that literally moved away from him and his dream job.

Even if she wants to love and respect you, she won't be able to.