I live way beneath my means, and women judge me HARD for it.

The original post is just a long way of saying you're ugly, either on the inside, outside or both.

My mother was the saver, and my father the hoarder / spender. Frankly, the only thing that kept them together was the belief that you just don't get divorced. Anyway, he has now passed, and while I miss him, I don't miss the money issues they had. I do worry some new guy will come along and take her money, but we'll cross the bridge when we get there.

I (female) make my own decent money and live beneath my means but travel more than the average person. It's totally fine to live beneath your means but not at the expense of being a dud. I mean, what will you do with your pile of cash when you're dead? You can't take it with you.

We have a winner. For some reason you seek out women you don't have their financial house in order.

"I've always kind of just laughed this off because so far every one of them has had terrible finances relative to myself. "

The question is why?

Stop dating high-maintenance women and look for someone with similar values. Of course, the trade off is that the lower-maintenance women might not have perfect nails, perfect hair and designer clothes...because all of those come at a cost.

Do all women feel entitled to all of men's money? Absolutely not. Lots of us enjoy being financially independent. It really sounds like you are attracting the wrong type of woman.

Most women are looking for a provider. You not only have to make money, you have to spend it on real life. Living like you are poor and being poor are almost the same thing.

10/10

I’m a career woman and have been independent for most of my adult life. I was in a 5 year relationship with a guy who was “cheap”. Cheap and controlling. I gave him a big chunk of my paycheck monthly. He would spend our money on facials for himself while I’m freezing in the winter wearing a big jacket and scarf in the apartment cause he didn’t want our utility bills to go up. I’m an attractive and so there was often an interrogation about my day to make sure I didn’t meet any guys.

My friends and I are all independent career women. We don’t rely on men to take care of us. I do have male friends who are frugal and sometimes I call them “cheap Charlie’s “ but only in jest. It’s a term my mom uses with her limited English. She’s cheap and prides herself on it....tips terribly so that I often add more bills to what she leaves.

I don’t think all women are after OP’s money. Being cheap is not an insult. I think OP is attracted to or somehow attracts women who are gold diggers, and he needs to take a look at himself and figure out why. Either that or he’s making assumptions about the women he meets that are incorrect and that these women are actually not after his money. It seems a bit misogynistic and borderline sociopathic. Not seeing women as individuals with good intentions and lumping them into a category that elicits his contempt. It’s actually scary. As an independent financially responsible woman, I hope I and my friends never run across this guy.

I can't read this wall of self-congratulatory text. OP is anything but humble.

You know those strange emails that appear in your junk mail box, from women living outwith the US but who want to live within the US? The ones which boast similarly fixedly of strange descriptors such as "humble", "simple" and "calm", to give the impression that low achieving is a virtue? These are the women for you. True, they might not turn out to be women at all, and they also seem to value "modesty" in their desire to give an impression of an 18th Century geisha, but even if not, you and they could combine so as to work together on similar ventures and thus increase your fabled wealth.

Either that, or go get some tuition in how to manage your domestic arrangements better. You don't actually sound humble or simple at all, you sound disorganised and unable to provide yourself with a normal standard of living.

Unicorns wrote:

Humbler wrote:

Are there any women who understand the concept of living humbly?

No, not in the USA at least. American women are programmed and trained, from birth, to be materialistic spending addicts.

Absolutely. The majority want a free meal ticket: YOU. They don't want to work. We live in the "but a one way ticket, live your dreams, live laugh love" bull$hit world that is not reality for 99.99% of the population. Keep doing your thing. The right one will come along.

Is is really all about the money, or is your personality to blame?

I, for one, would not feel at all impressed by a man who viewed all women as gold-diggers clamoring to get to his money. This man seems to think his money is his #1 asset, as opposed to brains, personality, or being a decent human. He is attracting women who share this view of him - that he is only as valuable as his money.

In my experience, some men are intimidated by smart, down-to-Earth, self-sufficient women. Men complain about high-maintenance women that are all beauty/no substance, but when a woman with brains comes along, they become all insecure and can't handle it.

Usually our choices reflect our values. The OP is attracting very superficial women because he values the more superficial things in a woman. OP is looking for a trophy gf and not an intellectual equal.

You need to do some self reflection and realize that the issues are with you and not the women you are pursuing. You are cheap/frugal, and that's a decision you've made for yourself. Then instead of being comfortable with that choice and looking to find someone with a similar outlook, you are harshly judging people who are not of the same mind. Could it be that your choices about money reflect a deeper part of your personality? There is a certain amount of selfishness in your financial choices, and you might want to think about whether or not that extends to other parts of your personality, including the way you treat other people, not just women.

If you want to live well beneath your means and be an "82-percenter", then do your thing, but actions and choices have consequences. You've discovered there isn't much overlap between your financial philosophy and a broader pool of dating partners. Since you've decided to blame the women, it seems like you've already made your choice .

2.5/10. A reasonable effort, with a predictable but solid subject and a rather humdrum, flat presentation, but the fish are biting frequently and hard.

All the career women I meet have more money than me - I have enough, but some of them are quite affluent - and they don't ask me for financial favors, lol! Why? I love it that a woman is strong, independent and has her own resources - very alluring. I never ask her for financial favors and I expect the same consideration in return. The student girls don't have as much resource, mostly, but nevertheless always offer to do things like buy the pre-fVckfest drinks or foods etc.

There's one reason for this lack of problem. Good choices. Smart women - the ones I deal with - want a real master, who is not only self-sufficient and comfortable with what he has, but is not a doofu$ like OP or most of you readers.

Don't tell them how much you make and your net worth.

Come on bro, OP at least deserves a 7/10 for this thread

Yup, so true. So many American girls / women charge the living hell out of their credit cards for clothes, shoes, nails, hair, makeup, every girl magazine known to mankind and the list just keeps on going. I was the best man for my best friend since 6th grade. We are Catholic, so they had to go to these pre marriage meetings / classes with the priest like once every 2 weeks for 7 months. They had to take a compatibility test, but they don't reveal the results. On the day of the wedding, I had to go fill out some form in the Church office and the file was just sitting there for my friend and his fiance. I looked through it and the results showed that she was a spender and he was a saver. The priest came in and said, No you can't be looking at that and put it away. I didn't say anything to my friend. A few months later he told me that after they were engaged he helped her pay off like 25k in credit cards. She promised to let him take care of the finances and she basically had her own little budget. He finds out that she opened new credit cards and had the statements sent to her parents house. She couldn't control herself. She was a shop-a-holic. She didn't even try clothes on or ever wear them. She just got pleasure from buying things. It just about sank their marriage. He said, Honey I love you but you are going to bankrupt us. I can't have this happen. So through tons of therapy and her basically getting an allowance they made things work out thus far.

I am fine if my wife outearns me but in social circles i can see where guys could be insecurw about this kind of thing.

Same with education. IE husband has BS and wife has PhD.

Humbler, One thing that you will never regret spending money on is traveling. I'm 47 and still single. I was engaged and the morning of my engagement party, I found out that my fiance was having an affair with a rich, older married guy the whole time I was with her. I have been to more different countries than I have states here in the US. In Rio de Janeiro, girls / women prefer older men or more mature if the men are in their 30s. It is the opposite of the US. You go out and they come up to you. Just stand there and look good. You have to workout, be in shape, go tanning and wear some stylish clothes. You can't go there as white as some one from Iceland and have a belly and crappy clothes. Girls can tell you are American. Buy them a rum and coke. It cost like 45 cents. Everything there revolves around the beach. So getting their number and meeting them at the beach and hanging out is totally acceptable. The guys down there are notorious cheaters. There are so many pretty girls looking for a faithful man. A lot get taught English in school. Even if you have to go on a trip by yourself you can and will make friends when you get there. Back in 2007, 3 of my friends and I, rented a house in Munich, Germany for Oktoberfest. I took German lessons so I could speak some Deutsch when I got there. Most people in Europe can speak at least some English. I made friends with some people and went back 4 more times, alone, to visit them. In Eastern Europe like the former East Germany, Poland, Czech Republic, Hungary the dollar goes a long way. Talking to girls in Prague on the trams is easy. They like the American accent and they are looking for a stable, loyal man. I'm not saying you won't find that in the US, but family oriented women that appreciate an honest, loyal man are getting harder to find. You have to invest in yourself. Get your teeth whitened, buy some cool threads, take care of your body and appearance and don't let your home look like a pauper lives there. Explore and take chances. Who cares if you get shot down by a cute girl at the grocery store. They will be flattered and impressed that you have the guts to talk to them without needing 5 beers in you.

Depending on what state you live in makes a pretty big difference. The fact that you meet girls, go on dates, they hang out at your place is a good sign. It shows that you aren't a lost cause. A ton of guys can't even get a fake phone number from a girl. They are too afraid to even approach a girl. I live in the New York Metropolitan Area, the ground zero for materialistic girls and I have had several very serious love relationships, tons of dates and short term relationships and the super short term hook up type. In this area it is almost essential that a girl / woman have a career. It isn't the 1970s or even the 1980s where the dad can provide everything for a family of 4 or 5, like the way it was when I grew up. Friends of mine that have moved to the South or out West (not California) have wives / girlfriends that are totally out of their league. I know it's cliche, but be yourself. You just have to improve a few things to have a better self, which will increase your chances of meeting the right girl. I don't care what anybody says, but looks matter. The first time you talk to a girl or meet a girl, the only thing that goes through her head the first 20 seconds is how you look. Does your belt match your shoes? Do you have nice eyes and a nice smile? Do you look fit? Is your shirt wrinkled? Does it look like you slept in your clothes? Are you charming / funny? (very important) DO YOU SMELL GOOD? One of the most important things. Girls always think about a guy that smells good. Go to a high end store and ask several of the girls that work there what their favorite men's cologne is. Personally, Polo Blue always gets compliments from complete strangers when I walk by them.

Humbler wrote:

I live in a simple apartment and don't have a lot besides a ton of books. I feel like I have everything that I need with a decent couch, TV, computer, bed, etc. It's all simple but adequate..

I live the same way, except have a house and I'm in my 70's. My spouse passed away a few years ago.

Most women in my age range do not take good care of themselves, yet appear to have high opinions of themselves.

For those reasons, it is really hard for me to find a woman who I'd like to be with.

Sounds like you can choose stocks but not women. Ask yourself why a woman would need to know your finances if you are not in a serious relationship. And once in a serious relationship, is anything other than debt important? Your philosophies regarding money management should be clear by that point without any discussion. If they are bringing up this subject, the problem is the woman you are choosing (and you are the one choosing them). If you are brining up the subject, the problem is you.