You poor, poor dear!
Oh, I, too, have been truly devastated by track athletes not living their retirement years exactly as I have planned. Why, just LOOK at the kinds of post-retirement actions, by our former track heroes, which have devastated us fans in recent times:
Former Track Hero A, who, as an elite competitor, never espoused his political views, is now a die-hard, stand-on-a-soapbox-and-put-foot-in-mouth Trump supporter.
Former Track Hero B, also a Republican, is now best buds with a known bleeding-heart liberal.
Former Track Hero C has become an unabashed fan of mutha effin' rap music, and he likes to keep us informed on Facebook.
Former Track Hero D cheated on the 5th hole of a golf outing last Thursday.
Former Track Hero E ran out of Prozac once in 2018 and, instead of getting his doc to immediately write a new prescription, just illegally used his wife's pills for a few days.
Former Track Hero F said he runs 40 miles per week to stay in shape, but measurement using Google Earth reveals that the sum total is only 35.6 miles.
Former Track Hero G, in retirement, became a member of the Church of Scientology.
Former Track Hero H, with an undeniable chromosome issue, has tied up the courts in her/his bid to compete in female masters track events.
Former Track Hero I, who was lapped in a masters 3200m race, was, by mistake, credited with the full 3200m. In fact, he only ran 2800m and didn't tell anyone.
Former Track Hero J stopped on a long run and peed on a neighbor's azalea bushes.
Former Track Hero K rents porno videos through his cable subscription.
Former Track Hero L posts goofy Instagram pictures of himself wrestling with his German shepherd.
Former Track Hero M, still on the adidas payroll, wears Nikes to cut the grass.
Former Track Hero N took a knee when the National Anthem was played at the start of his son's Little League ballgame.
Former Track Hero O was Chief Operating Officer for USATF, which surely MUST involve shameful activity.
Former Track Hero P is a Jenny Craig spokesman, but he regained the 30 pounds he had initially lost and won't fess up to the truth.
Former Track Hero Q anonymously posted something on LetsRun about Allie Ostrander being "the babyfaced assassin".
Former Track Hero R just went through a divorce and child custody battle.
Former Track Hero S was late in filing his IRS and state tax returns last year (though he did file 'em within a month).
Former Track Hero T played on the celebrity alumni donkey basketball team versus his high school's current teachers, and, gasp, he FELL OFF ONCE, WHILE LAUGHING!
Former Track Hero U was seen putting out a WHOLE case of empty Budweisers for the Monday morning recycler to pick up, and he'd not had anyone over for a party beforehand.
Former Track Hero V was caught on a county street intersection traffic camera picking his nose.
Former Track Hero W overcooked the burgers at the neighborhood 4th of July gathering.
Former Track Hero X got a traffic ticket for going 5 miles per hour over the speed limit in a school zone.
Former Track Hero Y sang karioke at a bar and it went onto Twitter, and he was worse than Carl Lewis singing the National Anthem.
Former Track Hero Z didn't manicure his grass in his "keeping up with the Joneses" community.
I bet bugboy98 had a paper cut and took a week off from work to recover. Life is such a BE-YATCH for some!