...you roll around in your own poop!
...you can't control your bladder!
...you haven't gotten laid in 10 YEARS!!!
out of interest, what are good comebacks to run Forrest run?
also, your e mail address contains a race distance!
Ever came to the end of a trail and had to ask a very confused person what town you were in.
Know at least three come backs to run Forrest run
Ever chased a snoty kid after you had already used up your come backs earlyer on the run.
1. The liner in your shorts have holes from your nuts rubbing against them.
2. You have shirts that are so old that you can see through them and you ware them on a weekly basis.
3. It's raining and you say "what a great day for a run"
4. When flying into a city, you look out the airplane window for places to run.
5. You finish a hard track workout with a killer headache and you say "that was great".
6. You can name 50 songs with the word run in them.
7. You can name every runner within 100 mile radius who have PRs faster than yours.
8. You visit a new town and you go to the local running shoe store for sight seeing tips.
9. You have recorded a marathon over your wedding video.
10. The first pair of shoes you bought your new born child has either air, gel or some other type of shock absorbing technology in them.
11. Your dog's name has something to do with running.
FYI, this long list was compiled at the 1995 Washington State HS Meet. It's been around for awhile. Just some history...
Geez, *too* many of these hit home for me! I write a monthly "Top Ten List" for our local running club's newsletter. I dug out a bunch of my old ones and stuck them together:
You look forward to being surrounded by 10,000 other sweaty bodies.
You configure your web browser to start at www.letsrun.com.
You find the idea that some people prefer to golf at a golf course a little strange.
You lay out both a polarfleece top and a mesh singlet the night before a race because you just never know what the starting temperature will be.
You search for a credit card that gives "frequent runner miles" instead of "frequent flyer miles".
You actually consider participating in "Run to Work Day" even though your job is in New York and you live in Philly.
You buy Power Bars by the case.
Your running shoes don't seem to last quite as long as they used to.
You know the precise lengths of every piece of road within 20 miles of your house.
When people hear you say "I'm going for a run" they know you won't be back for at least two hours.
Hydration has become a way of life.
There are more blue cold compress bags in your freezer than ice cubes.
You actually consider water running in the local pool even though you're allergic to chlorine.
When friends ask "What's new?" you tell them about the latest stretching book.
You fantasize about doing mile repeats.
You consider buying stock in the Ace Bandage Company.
You buy ibuprofen in the economy size.
Your podiatrist sends you a Christmas card.
You almost wish that a pickpocket would grab your wallet so that you could chase him down.
The bottoms of your running shoes appear to have small burn marks on them.
When you say "I'm going to the track", it has nothing to do with horses.
There are no long distance programs left on your treadmill.
A "ladder" has nothing to do with home maintenance.
Your heart monitor refuses to work under these conditions.
"Quarters" are not a monetary unit.
It really matters to you whether the track is 400 meters or 440 yards.
You have a hard time turning to the right.
50% of your wardrobe is made of CoolMax and the other 50% is made of GoreTex.
December is Chapstick month.
You have enough Tyvek race numbers to cover a new house.
You have a box full of broken sports watches that you'll get around to fixing "some day".
You have at least two drawers stuffed with race tee-shirts.
You have a "special" shoe-tree in the basement.
You're on a first-name basis with every race director in the county.
You sincerely believe that the right running shoes will look good with formal wear.
You know just how far a "k" is.
You don't own a single pair of shorts that has side pockets, but they all do have an inside key pocket.
If you wash your "lucky" running shorts one more time, they'll disappear.
Your old running logs take up several feet of shelf space.
You can correctly pronounce "Hicham el Guerrouj".
It's obvious that Wilson Kipketer and Wilson Boit Kipketer are two different people.
You know when every local track converted from 440 yards to 400 meters.
You remind people that STEPHANIE Graf does not play tennis.
Your pets are named "Meb" and "Geb".
You think of steeplechase as a plasticized version of cross-country.
You know the exact distance around your local track in each of the lanes.
You actually considered putting an orange all-weather surface on top of your driveway.
Half way through a race you can tell what model shoes the guy in front of you is wearing by the color and pattern of the sole.
The trots are not between a walk and a gallop
You?re not drunk and think nothing of pissing in public
You know that the best cure for constipation is mile 3 of 15
You know which types of tree leaves make the best toilet paper
You have woken up sore for longer than most eighty-year-olds
A car honk makes your middle finger rise into the air by reflex
You borrow your girlfriend?s mace and go looking for dogs for ?payback time?
You carry around science journals just to refute people who say: ?running ruins your knees?
You think ?I just don?t have enough time to run? is an apology for not going over 100 mpw
Your friend gets snot or other bodily fluids on you and you don?t expect an apology
The nurse says you heart rate is 55 but you feel compelled to explain it is because of the hard 10-miler you did this morning
You eat 4000 Calories a day and still lose weight
Dude, are you serious? Accident or on purpose? That is freaking hilarious!
I taped the same race.
...if you been introduced to another "serious runner" and after a two minute background check (best event, PR, date and race where PR was set) you know if they are legit, or full of shit, because you are a walking database of running statistics.
...You lock your keys in your car at work, and rather than call somebody for a ride you run the 2.5 miles home to get the other set.
...Then you run back to get your car!
...You go for a run at work during lunch in shorts and a shirt in 35 degree weather, and when you get back, drenched in sweat, your co-workers -- bundled up in heavy coats -- yell, "what are you doing? Don't you know it's too cold for a run?"
You threaten to kick the butt's of the whole football team because their benches and equipment had been moved into lane 1.
Another runner wrote:
...you waste rediculous amounts of time engaged in meaningless arguments and discussions about running
You truly believe that a tv show about a struggling competitive runner will be as successful as Seinfeld
.........you actually recognize soccer as a sport.
Your trainers are perpetually soggy from July to mid-Sept.
Here are a few that I have used:
How did you know my name was Forrest?
Smoke Loser Smoke!
It keeps me from getting fat like you!
But I usually either ignore them or say Verrrrry Original!
You might be a runner if...
...you plan a "vacation" to Boston in the middle of April.
...you meet someone who is skinny and wonder if he/she also runs, so you check them out on zinsli.com (sorry, this only works for CA runners)
...you consider Hood to Coast a great way to build strength for Cross Country.
...you have read every post in this thread.
....you keep a training log accurate within a tenth of a mile
....you need to know whether a course is USATF certified
....you think there needs to be a fourth movie made about the life of Steve Prefontaine
....you think nothing of running to your local track in the middle of the night, and running an all-out 400m with a full tuxedo on and dress shoes, after your prom (me and my 2 teammates, all three of us sub 70)
....you can easily recognize the difference between gatorade and powerade
....you don't DO off days
....your favorite song is Born to Run (Springsteen), Run Like Hell (Pink Floyd), or Running with The Devil (Van Halen)
...you and 4 teammates spent a day driving 800 miles to run a sub 5 mile on all 7 tracks in your conference in under 24 hours.
You have tried all 134 flavors of gatorade and you know which one makes the best vodka cocktail.
You know how painful salt in your buttcrack can be.
You know where everp public bathroom and every drinking fountain is within a 30 mile radius of your house.
You know why they call quads quads because you can count them.
You know the names of wayyy too many muscles.
You don't remember birthdays, anniversaries, appointments etc but you'll never forget the name of the guy who outkicked you at that xc race last year.
Your nipples have permanent scabs.
You can drink 80ozs of water and not go to the bathroom for 6 hours.
You talk alot about the bathroom or the lack of bathrooms as the case may be.
You can see H2C and not automatically think chemistry.
You know one line of every song ever written and you have sung it on a long run over and over at one point or another.
You are familiar with the unmistakable odor of vomit on rubberised track.