You go to the olympic training center in colorado springs and that crazy old boxer coach guy thinks you're a young boxer. Did I mention that crazy *creepy* old boxing coach guy? The one who knocked down that sign with his big ol' car once? And why is he SO interested in young boxers anyway? Eww.
You've accidentally killed enough worms on rainy sundays that you're afraid you may actually go to hell for it.
You and your teammates, while standing at the urinal, see who takes the longest to pee before a meet.
If you have ever coughed in a public bathroom to hide the sound of you starting your watch, in efforts to set a new PR for the longest pee
if your girlfriend is not afraid to fart in front of you...then she might be a runner.
-You consider the Continental Divide a small hill after running the Wild West Relay
-Weeds does not refer to drugs but the condition of your track
-The numbers on your watch freeze before you finish your run
-The neighbors hide there kids as you run by
-You can calculate everyone's miles split as they finish a 5K
-Your AD books the hotel with the nightclub and empty swimming pool for the state meet because it's $5 cheaper
-The next time get a new uniform is 10 years from now and you the AD is being generous
-If you "buspool" from track meets with your rival school
you just spent saturday night running then for a cool down sat and read you might be a runner lines for 2 hours and didn't feel like the night was wasted.
You're so obsessed with marathon training that you don't miss any planned runs on your wedding day (or during your honeymoon or anniversary or the day your kids are born) because you HAVE to get the miles in.
This post is hilarous! And some of the things are so true.
If "nipping off to the cafeteria" for lunch becomes an excuse to sprint there and back again,
If you sweat and get excited when remembering track races before you fall asleep,
If the only way you go from the bottom floor to the top is by running up the stairs,
If you fervently wish that someone would make "Once a Runner" into a movie,
If you snort and make jokes when i-joggers run past...it's even better when two of them are running together,
If you feel like committing suicide when banished to the indoor elliptical machine for an injury,
If you make fun of all the "gym rodents" who run inside,
If you can outlast football players in the cold whirlpool,
If you have fantasies about kicking other people and hearing their bones break,
If your idea of dinner contains barbarically large proportions of food,
If you eat more than an obese person,
your coach puts every one of these in your annual cross country program.....and most of the team doesn't get it
As a girl, you're very pleased about being flat-chested.
you eat while taking a crap.
You don't have friends.You have running partners.
You consider your Nike Dri-fit socks to be dress wear.
( I wore them today at thanksgiving day dinner with my nice outfit.)
You take your heart rate during lecture
You get exited whenever you hear track or cross-country,even though it was used in a different context
you dont eat pumpkin pie on thanksgiving
you wear your athletic watch with your suit and tie.
you wear running shoes with nice pants.
you get tired around 9pm every night.
you sneak in mileage between meals on holidays like thanksgiving and christmas.
you've had some sort of trash thrown at you during a run.
you want to scream "my name's NOT Forest!!" when some illiterate hillybilly screams "run forest run!"
people think you're bulimic when you're not.
you look forward to 18+ mile runs because you love feeling completly exhuasted after doing it.(helps with deep sleeping)
you don't eat anything hot, spicey, or with too much fiber 6 hours before any run.
you have dreams about spikes...
finding jasari's, white kennedy's, yellow kennedy's, and original eldorets. in that order.
throw in the occasional ventulus.
at least i do...2-3 nights/ week.
you fantasize about spikes more than girls.
...you watch the millrose games instead of the superbowl on feburary 5th
...you own every single book/movie ever made about running
...people ask you if cross country is when you ride horses
...you are attracted to girls who can break 5 in the mile
...you curse-off people who make fun of you while running because you know you can easily escape if they challenge you to something other than a race
...you've run with a hangover
...you have a poster of pre hanging on your ceiling that you look at in bed, even if your with a girl
...you dont ejaculate for a week before a big race because you convinced yourself it will somehow help
...your name in this forum is quentin cassidy