Should I pay more than my gf for rent?

It’s definitely different when you’re in a relationship LOL

Dude, let's call this what it is: live-in prostitution. She's trading sex for reduced rent. Your prostitute is increasing her monthly rate.

another perspective wrote:

Women want to be treated "the same", except when it doesn't benefit them. They also want to take advantage of any situation where being treated differently also benefits them. This situation falls into that 2nd category. Her line of thinking also sounds like a Elizabeth Warren / Bernie Sanders style where everything is proportional and that the people that make more must always subsidize those that make less for "fairness sake". Hope she isn't that type because you'll have a lifetime of headaches in front of you with respect to finances.

I'm sure you already pay way more than 50% of all the social / going out types of costs in the relationship. Right there that should basically balance things out anyways, without the silly proportional rent thing.

Not an expert on US politics, but I’d rather be Bernie Sanders than Trump. We have a joint account for everything so it’s all 50/50, and I haven’t paid for her half of the date since our first date back in 2015. Don’t know why people think I’m letting her walk all over me.

PopeFrancis wrote:

1answer wrote:

People who cohabit before marriage are more likely to divorce. For some, that overlaps with religious criteria.

Not a religious thing at all. It's a common sense thing. If you're not ready for a full-time, committed, legally-binding relationship you should not live together for many reasons. Not the least of which is common law which makes you legally bound to someone after cohabiting for some years (which you have already). But yeah, you both should be functioning and evolving as individuals until such time as you decide to get married.

Have fun marrying someone you find out is a slob/lazy/awful to live with and being stuck like it. You’re certifiably insane. If this is the norm in America, I’m glad I’m British.

If you are ugly or she is hot you should be paying more. Just be careful what you are paying for.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j5xCOF65ols

If you are roommates or dating casually, pay equally.

If you are serious about this girl, you should pay all shared bills proportional to your income. What do you think will happen when you get married? If paying more bothers you, then you should go out and find yourself a better earner as a partner.

arunnerinwa wrote:

If you are roommates or dating casually, pay equally.

If you are serious about this girl, you should pay all shared bills proportional to your income. What do you think will happen when you get married? If paying more bothers you, then you should go out and find yourself a better earner as a partner.

This is correct. There are some insane people in this thread. It sounds like you'll still come out ahead even after paying more for rent. What are you going to do with other big expenses though? Eventually you're going to do something that isn't just $20 for your half of a meal?

So, if you bring in a jobless second gf does she get to stay for free?

Flounder wrote:

NHS?

Not Having Sex. The cut off started young in this one.

Kick her to the curb.

I hadn't heard that acronym before! More commonly it stands for the North Hertfordshire Striders.

Living together is completely different to just dating. That's when you really find out what they are like and hence makes sense before marriage.

Pay the extra that's the fair thing to do.

AITA wrote:

If this is the norm in America, I’m glad I’m British.

We are too.

Go with the proportional split for now.

At some point, both your paychecks will be direct-deposited into a joint checking account and it won't matter any more.

In the meantime, remember to remind her each month that she owes you a $70 present.

With the numbers given [43/52] and rent [1600], the proper breakdown is $724.2 and $875.8 [to 4 significant digits]

your proposed compromise is over-charging her by nearly $6

Get a joint account. Put the same % of take home pay into it (eg 50%). Pay rent and expenses from that account. Works when large differences in income as well and no one feels like they're free loading / paying more than their share.

nbrowne1 wrote:

Get a joint account. Put the same % of take home pay into it (eg 50%). Pay rent and expenses from that account. Works when large differences in income as well and no one feels like they're free loading / paying more than their share.

This is a bad idea. Obviously the guy is not fully committed to this relationship, so opening a joint account basically puts him into a common law marriage. He wants to hit it and quit it.

Mango Mussolini wrote:

Flounder wrote:

NHS?

Not Having Sex. The cut off started young in this one.

Kick her to the curb.

I hadn't heard that acronym before! More commonly it stands for the North Hertfordshire Striders.

Only an American would say they've never heard of a National Health System before...

And to chime in, I'm a woman and an engineer, my boy friend was in law school for three years while I worked as an engineer, and I definitely paid the brunt of the food and rent while he was in school. We have never and will never combine our finances, unlike others, I think that is a BAD idea, you will only resent the things your partner feels like spending "extra" money on, instead of just keeping your own separate accounts, and deciding how general expenses are split based on salary and the rest is up the individual. In this day and age a bit of independence is very healthy especially regarding financial considerations. So to flip this around, it doesn't always have to be the man making more than the woman...And even three years out of law school I still make more as an engineer and had almost no student loans compared to what he left school with. So my opinion like a good "communist liberal" is, the rent should be proportional to your income, as your gf suggests.

I’ve always paid proportionally and adjusted every time one of us got a raise. I’ve always earned more, as well (at one point, almost 3x as much.)

It feels the most fair to me.

Why are you bringing this kind of a thing to this kind of a place (a room with only dudes in it). If you're serious about her, try having the conversation with her. I don't think it's unreasonable to ask the person who makes more to pay a little more. External factors matter too if she has no student debt & you have a ton, maybe it should stay 50/50. Figure it out with her.

nbrowne1 wrote:

Get a joint account. Put the same % of take home pay into it (eg 50%). Pay rent and expenses from that account. Works when large differences in income as well and no one feels like they're free loading / paying more than their share.

But then the person making more is paying more than their fair share.

Why should someone’s fair share of expenses be based on what they make instead of what they consume?

She isn’t using less of the house because she is making less.

It sounds like a cash grab by the gf and nothing else.

As I said before, if it was brought up intially when choosing where to rent and how much to pay, that would be different, but 2 years after the fact? Are you going to pay her back for all the previous years?