Move in with girlfriend or not?

How responsible the person is, connected with aging well, is another important criteria.

a woman for once wrote:

For the record not every woman wants kids,

Star wrote:

But the OP said "she is probably leaning towards a yes,"

If she is late 30s and leaning that way and he isn't, he has to let her go find a new person.

Moving in destroys her potential of ever having a child that she probably wants.

That would be her decision to make and between the two of them, not some random person on the internet.

He came here asking for advice.

Advice from a 46-year-old father of 11, all from the same woman, very happily married over 22 years. If you like her enough to consider moving in, then do not beat around the bush and marry her! A woman - at least the one worth being around - wants a guy that is confident, reliable, makes promises and keeps them, and overall lives by what he believes. Be that man the best you can be, and you will have a happy marriage.

He gave him advice, you idiot, which is not the same as advising him what to do.

Forest Runner wrote:

Thank you to everybody who replied, I am unsure if I want to start a family she is probably leaning towards a yes, my main concern is with some previous girl friends i had a greater physical attraction i couldn't wait to get my hands on them not so much with this girl, but we are much closer in other ways and i don't know if this is something that should concern me or does the friendship and companionship better in the long run?

What's her sex drive like? That's more important than pure physical attractiveness in the long term, don't you think? I'd much rather be tied to an average-looking woman who is fun in bed than a hot chick who's rarely in the mood.

The Original P.i.m.p. Baller wrote:

Forest Runner wrote:

Thank you to everybody who replied, I am unsure if I want to start a family she is probably leaning towards a yes, my main concern is with some previous girl friends i had a greater physical attraction i couldn't wait to get my hands on them not so much with this girl, but we are much closer in other ways and i don't know if this is something that should concern me or does the friendship and companionship better in the long run?

What's her sex drive like? That's more important than pure physical attractiveness in the long term, don't you think? I'd much rather be tied to an average-looking woman who is fun in bed than a hot chick who's rarely in the mood.

Wise words my friend.

The Original P.i.m.p. Baller wrote:

What's her sex drive like? That's more important than pure physical attractiveness in the long term, don't you think? I'd much rather be tied to an average-looking woman who is fun in bed than a hot chick who's rarely in the mood.

What he said.

The Original P.i.m.p. Baller wrote:

What's her sex drive like? That's more important than pure physical attractiveness in the long term, don't you think?

No. That is not important at all, and just because you have low standards, doesn't mean that anyone else should be the same way.

Sounds like you aren't sleeping with her.

In which case, why would you move in. You should move on.

Unless you just want to lead her on.

What does she want from your relationship? I think her opinion is more important that 245 strangers on letsrun.

DON'T DO IT! If you've been given an ultimatum, then that is a certain signal to say "goodbye."

This happens in all relationships. Most likely, you noticed this decay of the spark (and probably within your sex life as well) increase significantly in the past year.

This is normal. Women tend to lose interest in sex (with their long term partner) overtime. Usually begins in earnest around 3-4 years, but it can certainly vary. There is significant speculation over whether or not this is biological, but there is lots of evidence to suggest it has roots in biology.

In any event, that's just something you need to be prepared for and okay with. It will amplify when you move in together. You'll either need to accept it, or move to some sort of open framework.

Beyond that if you: get along together, communicate well, have low drama, similar viewpoints, strong emotional connection and respect for each other...then you have most of the characteristics you want from her. If you have those, and a long term relationship with her, under the circumstances above, is what you desire, then yes you should move in. If you're not wanting to spend years or a lifetime with this woman, or cannot accept the inevitable decrease in sex life and spark; then no, you probably shouldn't move in.

Doesn't really matter for a long term relationship. Why? Because you can't predict where it will go. I've seen high sex drive women slip down to once a month sex with the husband or less, and I've seen low sex drive women stay at a fairly consistent once every few weeks. If there is a correlation there, it seems to be a subtle one.

Sexual chemistry is important, but in general monogamy (or more accurately, long term commitment) is going to cause a decrease in sex drive over time.

This almost always means that yes she will. Decide on whether or not you are okay with those. If you aren't, tell her upfront that you are NEVER having children. If you're okay either way, tell her that it will be her decision, but make sure you've thought about how you will parent and that you're on the same page. Issues there can be incredibly divisive.

If the friendship and companionship don't matter more in the long run than having good sex, you absolutely should NOT get in a long term committed relationship, or god forbid marriage. You should either date open, or go for casual dating and/or FWB type situations.

Most people ultimately want a long term, committed relationship. In part because society conditions us to want that, but I think most people very much appreciate and enjoy having someone like that in their life. It's definitely a powerful thing. But, it IS individual. You have to think about what you would be okay with and what you desire.

If you don't desire the commitment, don't go for it. Date serially monogamy or have casual relationships. If there is NO way you can abide by the inevitable decrease in sex, but deeply desire a long term, pair bonded companion then your only option is an open relationship/marriage. This works, but the dating pool is smaller, and you both MUST have the right characteristics for it not to be a trainwreck.

Get a vasectomy first. She has a full time job? Run a background check on her and pull her credit report. Tell her if she gains more than 5 pounds you will leave her.

My usual comment on these kind of threads:

Get yourself a Prenup if you do intend to marry.

Ignorance. wrote:

No. That is not important at all, and just because you have low standards, doesn't mean that anyone else should be the same way.

Wow, if you don't think a healthy sex life is important at all then I feel really sorry for you. I live with a beautiful woman who is fun in bed, by the way. My standards are fine.

LM wrote:

Doesn't really matter for a long term relationship. Why? Because you can't predict where it will go.

Nonsense. Of course you can.

Ignorance. wrote:

No. That is not important at all, and just because you have low standards, doesn't mean that anyone else should be the same way.

The Original P.i.m.p. Baller wrote:

Wow, if you don't think a healthy sex life is important at all then I feel really sorry for you. I live with a beautiful woman who is fun in bed, by the way. My standards are fine.

There is more to life than being a retarded pimp baller, but I wouldn't expect you to know that.