Girlfriend wants to adopt a(nother) stray cat. Thinking of breaking up with her over it. Overreacting?

Get a BB gun.

Street Cat wrote:

\, I kind of see her as not someone I could ever be with long term.

It's over...

First of all understand that these types of events "dumb decisions" will continue as long as you are with her,and if you can't stop her, you will have to live with them. You haven't seen the worst yet. Second of all, she sounds like a poor decision maker, which is not someone you want to marry or have kids with. If you aren't starving for female affection, break up with her.

I agree. She should sort it out into some kind of animal shelter if possible but not take it. The RSPCA did a breakdown of how much it cost per year to keep a dog, cat, rabbit, guinea pig etc and the figures were shocking (they included absolutely everything: insurance, shots, food, toys, boarding, etc). I can't remember off the top of my head but it wasn't just a few hundred per year.

Why would you break up with her without even a discussion though? It seems like you don't value the relationship that much if you feel that way. You also sound resentful and pissed off (maybe about bailing her out, or having to buy food for her). If she is in that bad of a situation, she needs to sit down and look at some kind of budget or how to cut expenses, for example could she drink just water for a few months and save money that way, or sell some items on Ebay, etc.

Good luck, it's very difficult when people are financially very different from you in a relationship.

track chick wrote:

Why would you break up with her without even a discussion though? It seems like you don't value the relationship that much if you feel that way. You also sound resentful and pissed off (maybe about bailing her out, or having to buy food for her). If she is in that bad of a situation, she needs to sit down and look at some kind of budget or how to cut expenses, for example could she drink just water for a few months and save money that way, or sell some items on Ebay, etc.

Because we've already had 3 hard and blunt conversations about her finances, her bad financial decisions, how to make better decisions, how to improve her situation, etc. We've already had the discussion 3 times. If she continues to make blatantly stupid and irresponsible decisions even after all that, then it's clear to me she'll never get it and prioritizes stray cats over our relationship anyway, so it is HER who doesn't value the relationship.

Is she bipolar, bro? Asking for a friend.

Sorry, but compared to the financial issues the stray cat thing is about as important as you leaving the toilet seat up.

The cat could cost $1000 a year though which monthly is a huge expense (possibly one of the biggest bills?).

https://www.moneyunder30.com/the-true-cost-of-pet-ownership

For me, it seems obvious that if you are someone who can live w/in his means, then you would want someone who can do same.

Even to the point of: it seems fair that you would ONLY consider partners who live w/in their means.

Spenders are gonna drag down the savers. Not fun, unless that’s some kind of martyrdom stance?

That's two cats too many. Don't let her make your house smell like a litter box. Hasta la vista.

OP, you're clearly in a relationship with somebody who isnt able to make responsible financial decisions, that is really unlikely to ever change about her. This is something that bothers you, this is also something that is unlikely to ever change about you.

You see how these two are in conflict?

Maybe she is starting her career and will make much more money in the future. She will just spend even more money and the bail-out will be proportionately more expensive.

For both of your sake, end it now.

break up wrote:

Street Cat wrote:

\, I kind of see her as not someone I could ever be with long term.

It's over...

This is all that needed to be said.

Other than the op is a likely troll.

Conundrum wrote:

break up wrote:

It's over...

This is all that needed to be said.

Other than the op is a likely troll.

The point was that IF she tries to adopt this cat I won't be able to see her as a long term partner. She hasn't explicitly stated she wants to (yet).

She’s not being a responsible pet owner. I have two pets, both getting up there in years. I spend a lot of money on their vet visits. If one isn’t sick, it’s the other one. I love them both, with all of my heart, but when they pass away naturally from old age, I will not be adopting anymore animals. I’ve had to rely on my dad and boyfriend in the past to help me out at times. I feel bad about that, and yet I feel terrible when I see my babies are unwell. Feeding them, buying pet supplies, bathing, grooming, walking, hiring a pet sitter for when I have to travel for work....it all adds up. In fact, my social life took a turn for the worse and also my ability to travel for leisure. I use to travel quite often. Yet, I wouldn’t change my decision to be a pet owner for anything. I love my babies. I wouldn’t bring another animal into our household since i know it would take away resources from the two I have now. I am tempted to adopt again at times, but my common sense, personal responsibility, and guilt in receiving financial assistance from my dad and former boyfriend stops me from making such a bad decision.

Street Cat wrote:

Conundrum wrote:

This is all that needed to be said.

Other than the op is a likely troll.

The point was that IF she tries to adopt this cat I won't be able to see her as a long term partner. She hasn't explicitly stated she wants to (yet).

If this isn't atroll, and I believe it is a troll, then the other poster who says the relationship is over is most likely right.

It doesn't matter if she gets the cat or not, it will soon be over.

You can't be serious! I don't think she will survive only on water for months on end. Pretty harsh woman, you are. Do you beat your husband?

It is impossible to adopt a stray cat. By definition, it ceases to be a stray cat the second you adopt it.

You already seem insecure in your relationship with your partner and your post screams, it’s all about me, not why your partner wants to adopt another cat.

Have a serious conversation with your partner about both of your futures. If there needs to be difficult decisions made, make it. Otherwise the cycle will repeat.

Just drink water from the tap so zero cost on drinks. To save money. I didn't say anything about food. I'm sure she can budget there too, but that's separate. You can save a lot of money by not having coffees, teas, alcohol, soda/fizzy pop, smoothies out etc.