We give our in-laws $500-600 per month, should I say anything to my wife?

1st world problems wrote:

Am I an idiot? wrote:

I don't understand why you think you are incapable of buying a million dollar home. Do I not understand math? With the down payment you have saved up and the amount you make per year unless your credit is abysmal you should for sure be able to afford a million dollar house. How much do you currently pay in rent?

Also, LMAO at complaining about giving like $300 a month to your in-laws when you are rich. Get some perspective dude.

First, the million+ dollar homes are all huge McMansions. We don't need a 4,000-5,000 SF castle. A 2,000 SF home would be fine. With 200k down payment and 800k mortgage, the monthly payment for mortgage, insurance, taxes is above $4,000/month for 30 years. That's over 36% of our take home pay, not ideal. If either one of us loses our job, we don't want to be house poor. That is not including utilities (heat is expensive), yard upkeep, maintenance/repairs. Plus, property tax goes up every year.

We are renting a 2,000SF house for $2400/mo. Childcare is $1,000/mo. We plan on having a second child, so childcare will double.

We don't feel rich, we can't even afford a house where we live! We just put an offer on a 800k home and 6 people outbid us.

1st world problems wrote:

1st world problems wrote:

First, the million+ dollar homes are all huge McMansions. We don't need a 4,000-5,000 SF castle. A 2,000 SF home would be fine. With 200k down payment and 800k mortgage, the monthly payment for mortgage, insurance, taxes is above $4,000/month for 30 years. That's over 36% of our take home pay, not ideal. If either one of us loses our job, we don't want to be house poor. That is not including utilities (heat is expensive), yard upkeep, maintenance/repairs. Plus, property tax goes up every year.

We are renting a 2,000SF house for $2400/mo. Childcare is $1,000/mo. We plan on having a second child, so childcare will double.

We don't feel rich, we can't even afford a house where we live! We just put an offer on a 800k home and 6 people outbid us.

Also did not mention, new homes START at 1 million. That means the cheapest ones ($1M) will be on a tiny lot with hardly any yard, on a busy street with no sidewalks. Backing out of the driveway would be a chore, traffic noise will be a nuisance, and your kids can't even play in the street or cross without fearing for their safety. A new home in a safe neighborhood where the kids can cross the street or play safely would be at least $1.3 million which we definitely can't afford.

i'm confused wrote:

1st world problems wrote:

Not trolling. I don't have my tax return with me but we've above the married filing jointly income limit for a couple years now. It was around 180k when we were first married, I know it's higher now but we are still above it. I didn't account for holiday pay and overtime when I said take home is 11k per month. I should have said 11k every two weeks since there are 26 pay periods per year so that's 2 extra paychecks.

To answer some other questions I missed, her two sisters do contribute as well though we contribute the most cause we make more. One helps with the vehicles, another pays the insurance each year. We all pick up the tab if we eat out, go on trips etc.

The in-laws do not have a retirement or pension but qualify for social security. If they go back to their home country, they would be well off but who knows if they want to.

They do cook good ethnic food and I do appreciate that our kids will be bilingual.

Hey 1st World Problem

i'm confused why you think he was a troll. They have 401ks thru work and make more than the limit for Roth contributions. They can still contribute to a standard IRA but its not deductible. While not a terrible investment you can probably do better with that money in the market. I'm not too far from this. We make about 50% more and have 401ks, 403bs, roth, IRAs, UTMA, 529s, etc. why did you think he was a troll?

1st world problems wrote:

Am I an idiot? wrote:

I don't understand why you think you are incapable of buying a million dollar home. Do I not understand math? With the down payment you have saved up and the amount you make per year unless your credit is abysmal you should for sure be able to afford a million dollar house. How much do you currently pay in rent?

Also, LMAO at complaining about giving like $300 a month to your in-laws when you are rich. Get some perspective dude.

First, the million+ dollar homes are all huge McMansions. We don't need a 4,000-5,000 SF castle. A 2,000 SF home would be fine. With 200k down payment and 800k mortgage, the monthly payment for mortgage, insurance, taxes is above $4,000/month for 30 years. That's over 36% of our take home pay, not ideal. If either one of us loses our job, we don't want to be house poor. That is not including utilities (heat is expensive), yard upkeep, maintenance/repairs. Plus, property tax goes up every year.

We are renting a 2,000SF house for $2400/mo. Childcare is $1,000/mo. We plan on having a second child, so childcare will double.

We don't feel rich, we can't even afford a house where we live! We just put an offer on a 800k home and 6 people outbid us.

1st world problems wrote:

TLDR: We take home $11k per month, saving for a house but wife gives in-laws $500-$600 per month for play money. Should I tell her it's wasteful or let her parents enjoy life?

Long version:

My in-laws are war refugees and came to America on a leaky boat. They don't speak English and made close to minimum wage their whole lives. If not for them, my wife would obviously not be here with me. Father has stopped working and mother won't be working much longer. Based on their ancestors, their expected lifespans are relatively short (70s or so) but of course health care is much better in USA. Father already had a stroke.

My wife has always supported them monetarily and I knew this before we got married. This is common in their culture. We give on average $500-600 per month. The in-laws pay for basic living expenses such as groceries, mortgage ($900) and utilities. The rest is for "wants" such as eating out, vacations, play money, car maintenance, iPhone, gym membership etc. We paid for 1/3-1/2 of their new vehicles a couple years ago. We pay any major expenses on the vehicles such as new tires and excise tax.

My wife actually owns the house they live in, so should I look at it as if the in-laws are paying us $900/mo and we're giving $500-600 back? We're not hurting for money but I always cringe when I see them blow it on material things. I was brought up to be frugal and save.

We max retirement accounts (401k, backdoor Roth IRA). We have a joint account and take home about $11,000 per month after taxes, insurance, 401k contributions. We do however live in a high cost of living area. A new home costs at least $1 million and we obviously can't afford that. We have $200k saved up for a home so our price range is $700-800k. There is a lot of competition in this price range and anything decent gets into a bidding war.

So I'm not really sure why I am posting. Should I tell my wife we should be saving more for a new house, contributing more to our kids 529 or just let her parents enjoy life before they're too old?

Foggy wrote:

1st world problems wrote:

TLDR: We take home $11k per month, saving for a house but wife gives in-laws $500-$600 per month for play money. Should I tell her it's wasteful or let her parents enjoy life?

Long version:

My in-laws are war refugees and came to America on a leaky boat. They don't speak English and made close to minimum wage their whole lives. If not for them, my wife would obviously not be here with me. Father has stopped working and mother won't be working much longer. Based on their ancestors, their expected lifespans are relatively short (70s or so) but of course health care is much better in USA. Father already had a stroke.

My wife has always supported them monetarily and I knew this before we got married. This is common in their culture. We give on average $500-600 per month. The in-laws pay for basic living expenses such as groceries, mortgage ($900) and utilities. The rest is for "wants" such as eating out, vacations, play money, car maintenance, iPhone, gym membership etc. We paid for 1/3-1/2 of their new vehicles a couple years ago. We pay any major expenses on the vehicles such as new tires and excise tax.

My wife actually owns the house they live in, so should I look at it as if the in-laws are paying us $900/mo and we're giving $500-600 back? We're not hurting for money but I always cringe when I see them blow it on material things. I was brought up to be frugal and save.

We max retirement accounts (401k, backdoor Roth IRA). We have a joint account and take home about $11,000 per month after taxes, insurance, 401k contributions. We do however live in a high cost of living area. A new home costs at least $1 million and we obviously can't afford that. We have $200k saved up for a home so our price range is $700-800k. There is a lot of competition in this price range and anything decent gets into a bidding war.

So I'm not really sure why I am posting. Should I tell my wife we should be saving more for a new house, contributing more to our kids 529 or just let her parents enjoy life before they're too old?

Did I guess right?

Filipinos living in Silicon Valley