Girl told me ''I'm not sure how I feel about you doing this'' when I explained to her how much/where I run

This thread means nothing without pics.

You guys are slipping.

Hg kid ln wrote:

This thread means nothing without pics.

You guys are slipping.

Exactly. I never tire of seeing nice wilderness ultra trails.

Bring it up casually and ask what she meant when she said (......).

It might be something quite different from what everyone is guessing.

Be prepared to give a reasoned response. "It gives me focus. It's a great way to think creatively. It gives me boundless energy when I'm not running." ...something like that... something that she can possibly relate to.

Communication seems to be a lost art with this generation.

I understand her. I wouldn't wanna date a girl who left the house for two hours everyday either. Who knows what she could be doing. At the very least she would have to share her location at all times. So I guess this is what she is thinking also, that you could be up to no good.

Girls love to tell you they like to hike because it’s the easiest thing to fake and it makes them sound adventurous and rugged. All you really need to do to hike is know how to walk.

fisky wrote:

Bring it up casually and ask what she meant when she said (......).

It might be something quite different from what everyone is guessing.

Be prepared to give a reasoned response. "It gives me focus. It's a great way to think creatively. It gives me boundless energy when I'm not running." ...something like that... something that she can possibly relate to.

Communication seems to be a lost art with this generation.

Yo, Fisky. Communication across the board has taken a really big hit lately in case you haven't noticed. Divisiveness is the new norm. And we can hardly blame "this generation."

Otherwise like your recommendations very much, though.

Another take on it wrote:

General Tso wrote:

That type of running and training is something most people have no notion of. It's probably hard for many people to wrap their heads around. Running up and down mountains on technical trails for fun? It's an acquired taste.

Also, it's better than telling her "this is where I to shoot up pretty much every day"

Or she might wonder if she wants to get involved with someone who spends so much time on what is ultimately a very trivial and self-centered activity. All your energy spent on an activity that produces nothing of lasting value.

I fail to see how anyone could characterize his running 100mpw and years of competing in races as something "that produces nothing of lasting value". A moron with little life experience or a 2nd-grader might sum up things this way, but a young adult should know better. Every time. Right away.

And she makes more than him too, I bet :/

In all seriousness, it's good that he got in better all-around shape, but to sacrifice what he truly loved (10k) is stupid b/c of his wife.

It's one thing to hang it up due to injury but to be beta-cucked into being told not to run anymore...yikes. I'd rather quit due to a bad injury. That's at least a semi-legit excuse.

Another take on it wrote:

General Tso wrote:

That type of running and training is something most people have no notion of. It's probably hard for many people to wrap their heads around. Running up and down mountains on technical trails for fun? It's an acquired taste.

Also, it's better than telling her "this is where I to shoot up pretty much every day"

Or she might wonder if she wants to get involved with someone who spends so much time on what is ultimately a very trivial and self-centered activity. All your energy spent on an activity that produces nothing of lasting value.

+1

Oww, the truth hurts. BURN.

Tim Got Whipped wrote:In all seriousness, it's good that he got in better all-around shape, but to sacrifice what he truly loved (10k) is stupid b/c of his wife.

It's one thing to hang it up due to injury but to be beta-cucked into being told not to run anymore...yikes. I'd rather quit due to a bad injury. That's at least a semi-legit excuse.

Maybe I missed something, but I don't think that guy ever claimed the 10k was his true love.

These threads are interesting, as many responders seem to

(1) not understand (or admit) why they devote their time and effort to running

(2) be very defensive about their investment in running

(3) be unwilling to think about opportunity cost

(4) look down on folks who have chosen to focus on other goals

questionajkfdl;ja wrote:I think I would think it was odd if a guy I met just randomly hiked for 90 minutes or more every day by himself. On the flip side, I don't think it's weird for a competitive trail / mountain runner to *train* that much.

If the competitive runner is not a pro, I think he's the odd one, not the hiker. The hiker can probably give you a several clear reasons why he's out there every day. He probably doesn't stress about skipping a hike when he has something more important to do.

OTOH, the runner (based on responses to this thread and others like it) either can't tell you why he's spending hours a day in the woods, or he'll tell you that he's training. Ask him why he's training, or why his performance in a (possibly unspecified) upcoming event matters, and he'll probably get annoyed and maybe even start a thread here complaining about it.

Geezus. I thought I had it bad. I can't run tomorrow on account of it being Mother's day. JK.

quit. Gained a little weight but started a 3-4 day a week fitness program. Life really got better. I wasn't as tired and my athletic ability came back. I also just focused on her and work. My career took off.

By any chance was there more to the conversation? Like..."no wonder you can't keep up in bed with me"?

BernieSandals wrote:

Another take on it wrote:

Or she might wonder if she wants to get involved with someone who spends so much time on what is ultimately a very trivial and self-centered activity. All your energy spent on an activity that produces nothing of lasting value.

+1

Oww, the truth hurts. BURN.

why do you come to a running forum to say how running is trivial and self centered

do you also go to kids birthday parties just to take a fat sh!t all over the cake?

in any case, you seem sad

oh, for god's sake, life with the opposite sex is like this every day. Really, this is just a test, and if you can't handle this one, she wants to know right now so she can cut her losses and move on. And if you can;t, she should, for what that's worth.

So do something like this:

Get a few brochures for treadmills. Scatter them around your apartment. Tape an 'X' on the floor and magic marker the words: treadmill here.

Casually mention - but don't dwell on it - how you're coming to understand how life is a matter of trade-offs. How things that you give up are never really lost, but maybe may take new forms and progress into something new, to make room for other equally important things. Use the word discovery a lot and growth, too. If you can do it without laughing, take her hand.

Let us know how it goes.

tlm1959 is not whipped

He is a former Div 1 All America, now a giant in the investment world and likely easily one of the wealthiest people who posts here. Most couldn’t last three minutes with him intellectually. This pissed insecure Let’s Run types off, which makes me smile.

Anonimo veneziano wrote:

I tell to all my GFs: "if you make me choose between you and running, I choose running"

This is why running or any other personal exploit (gamer, athlete, fishing, hunting, etc) can be hard for your significant other to accept. It’s not about the amount of time spent, it’s about the importance of that personal exploit being more important than wife, family, etc.

Running is a very narcissistic activity.

Alan

fisky wrote:

Bring it up casually and ask what she meant when she said (......).

It might be something quite different from what everyone is guessing.

Be prepared to give a reasoned response. "It gives me focus. It's a great way to think creatively. It gives me boundless energy when I'm not running." ...something like that... something that she can possibly relate to.

Communication seems to be a lost art with this generation.

Nah, that's not gonna work. They either accept it or they don't. It's not always about communicating your feelings. Obviously she doesn't get it, and the OP should move on.

You dont kniw wrote:

tlm1959 is not whipped

He is a former Div 1 All America, now a giant in the investment world and likely easily one of the wealthiest people who posts here. Most couldn’t last three minutes with him intellectually. This pissed insecure Let’s Run types off, which makes me smile.

Like this guy?