Funny, I think i wrote this post on this board circa 2002 when I was a sophomore in college at an NAIA school. However, we rarely had 4 guys on the XC team, and the women's team were a bunch of 19:30 whiners. I ran all my long runs on my own, which was kind of a bummer, but i realized how tough it made me. It was also freeing. I was able to get a car after Easter break my sophomore year and found a bunch of nice trails about 20 minutes east of my school, that I utilized post-collegiately as well. part of the fun was exploring new places to go and taking a cooler with lunch and my homework with me, and not returning back to the dorms until sunday evening. I was getting close to a young lady at the time who is now my wife, which is also why I chose to stay. I was able to pick up quite a bit of scholarship money based on modest PR's at the end of the semester and learned to make the best of my situation. I have learned that your college situation is the norm, and finding a good solid program that allows for academics and affordability is extremely difficult.
Here's my advice as an older guy who was in your situation in college:
1. do what makes the most sense financially (if that means transfer, then transfer. if it means stay, then stay). Realize that the transferring process can bring new stresses too.
2. apply yourself to your pursuits, athletically and academically
3. forget the whiners. You have to be their teammate, but you don't have to be their friend. which means, be courteous and firm and keep your energy on your goals.