Go for it. If you are thinking about it this much, you have to do the next step. You only go around once and this may be the one. I'm going on 30 years with "the one". She had a boy friend when I asked her out. I knew it, but thought all she could do is say no. And what does that hurt? You don't want to be asking the ? when you're 60 and single.
Been there done this... wrote:
I’ve been in your shoes before, but not as a doctor and instead as a running shoe salesman...anyways, worked all the time with this one committed girl. We built an attraction and I couldn’t stop thinking of her. One night we closed the shop together and walked to each other’s cars. The desert sunset was beautiful and we had stopped at my car. We were leaning against my car in what felt like a moment of destiny and just as she started to say she had to go, I kissed her. We ended up in the backseat making out and I tried to undo her pants. Then it seemed like guilt hit her, and she said she couldn’t do this, and got out the car crying. I said sorry as I watched her walk away. That night turned everything awkward but I’ll never forget nor regret being a POS taking a risk like that. She married the dude BTW.
Your description of the situation sounds sketchy to me as a woman. You don’t just go to undo her pants without pausing to ask if that’s alright. Your creepiness is probably what jolted her out of a moment that she first saw as feeling kind of like a ‘moment of destiny’, to realizing it was just a sleezy dude trying to get in her pants.
You messed up wrote:
Been there done this... wrote:
I’ve been in your shoes before, but not as a doctor and instead as a running shoe salesman...anyways, worked all the time with this one committed girl. We built an attraction and I couldn’t stop thinking of her. One night we closed the shop together and walked to each other’s cars. The desert sunset was beautiful and we had stopped at my car. We were leaning against my car in what felt like a moment of destiny and just as she started to say she had to go, I kissed her. We ended up in the backseat making out and I tried to undo her pants. Then it seemed like guilt hit her, and she said she couldn’t do this, and got out the car crying. I said sorry as I watched her walk away. That night turned everything awkward but I’ll never forget nor regret being a POS taking a risk like that. She married the dude BTW.
Your description of the situation sounds sketchy to me as a woman. You don’t just go to undo her pants without pausing to ask if that’s alright. Your creepiness is probably what jolted her out of a moment that she first saw as feeling kind of like a ‘moment of destiny’, to realizing it was just a sleezy dude trying to get in her pants.
Laughable. I’ve been in his situation several times and have never asked permission... you make your move based on the signals she is sending out...if she says no or places her hand on yours, you stop. Otherwise you keep going. Generally your mouths are locked together and there isn’t much conversation occurring anyway. Obviously there is always the risk you are pushing things too fast, which could kill the mood...and in this case, it sounds like exactly what the poster described: the committed girl realized she was cheating on her boyfriend, had her conscience catch up with her, experienced massive guilt, and immediately left. Nothing at all creepy or unusual about this situation.
Well just assume that she does not know that you know she has a boyfriend and go for it
WRC lady opining here:
I vote for saying something to her, preferably sooner than later, because it's possible that (a) she & Boyfriend will get engaged (and she possibly might choose differently if she knows you're into her - and you *cannot* tell her after she's engaged, just too late) and/or (b) one of you will move away after med school (and it's much easier to figure out when you live in the same place).
75% chance you're going to lose her as a friend/running partner if above doesn't go well. So, be prepared for that.
You could try something like this:
"Hey, I know you have a boyfriend, and I respect that, and I'm not going to mess with that. But if that job ever opens up, I'd be be interested in learning more about it and possibly applying. I like you and have fun spending time with you."
And then just go about your business.
Good luck, man. (Been there, done that.)
liug wrote:
WRC lady opining here:
I vote for saying something to her, preferably sooner than later, because it's possible that (a) she & Boyfriend will get engaged (and she possibly might choose differently if she knows you're into her - and you *cannot* tell her after she's engaged, just too late) and/or (b) one of you will move away after med school (and it's much easier to figure out when you live in the same place).
75% chance you're going to lose her as a friend/running partner if above doesn't go well. So, be prepared for that.
You could try something like this:
"Hey, I know you have a boyfriend, and I respect that, and I'm not going to mess with that. But if that job ever opens up, I'd be be interested in learning more about it and possibly applying. I like you and have fun spending time with you."
And then just go about your business.
Good luck, man. (Been there, done that.)
Don't go with this one. Also creepy. Just be chill, keep being you, and see how it shakes out.
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