you gotta risk it for the biscuit
you gotta risk it for the biscuit
Casanovito wrote:
You need to create a bar for her to clear...women love a challenge in the romantic realm.
Tell her: "I don't run alone with women who are in committed relationships. Period."
Draw the line in the sand.
She will either accept it and you will know you never had a shot anyway...move on.
OR...she will start to stick her toe over the line, say things like "It's OK, he won't mind!" etc.
Just keep your mouth shut and smile, she has hooked on the line. Don't verbalize your/her/his relationship, just continue with the implicit confidence that if she accedes to run with you, she is actually available.
This is the only way you have a shot: force her to show her cards.
OP is not trying to hook up, he's into her. Go back and read what "mancoach" wrote. You might learn something. It's the only reply that makes sense. If she cheats on her current bf, she will cheat on him too.
I don’t see no ring.
consider this wrote:
... or she knows that guys don't pay attention to girls who talk about their realtionships.
Wait, what?
Luv2Run wrote:
One of my best running friends ever is a woman. She and I trained for marathons together and really liked each other's company. We were both married and if we were not I do not think we ever would have gotten together romantically (a significant age difference too).
I hate to have to be the one to break it to you, but your running partner's husband is packing it into your wife while you're out running. You didnt realize this was a partner swap? Because they sure took advantage of it...
Ladies of LRC? wrote:
Letsrun ladies, do you have any inputs?
Move on, you’re going to be too busy once you both finish med school and get matched for a Residency. It’s better to focus on your career first then worry about getting involved in a relationship .
I’d just casually sound her out on the boyfriend...”Hey, I knew you had a BF at one point but since you never mention him, are you no longer with him? I know it’s none of my business, but I was just curious because I enjoy hanging out with you and there is this new restaurant I heard about that sounds great...but I didn’t want to be inappropriate if you’re serious with someone else!” Could be she’s with him but not all that serious...in any event, you’ll come out knowing more about her situation than you do now.
If you're taller, smarter, funnier, and make more than the other guy there is a 95% chance she will leave him for you.
mancoach wrote:
You don't want there to be hope. Do you know why? If there is hope for you and you start dating her, there will likely be hope for the next guy.
Do not pursue this girl in any way unless she and her boyfriend break up for reasons that have nothing to do with you. And don't wait around for that to happen either.
Having female friends is great, but not if you get hung up on them and they keep you from dating other people. Be careful.
Some good advice. I knew a guy who was into this girl all through college. At the time the girl was in a relationship with one of his friends, but she's always flirt with him. Apparently (i didn't know him in college but know him now), at the end of college, this girl was single and he thought about making a move, but then thought to hismelf, "Do I really want to be in a relatinship with a girl who has hardcore flirted with another guy (me) while in a hard-core relationship?"
Once a cheater.... Always?
You're being used and played, holmes. She's getting what she needs from the boyfriend, and she has you on the side as a backup if she needs something.
If you want this chick, you need to man up and take control. You tell her you want to start dating, if she mentions the other guy, you tell her to drop him. Done.
Stay cool with her and date her friends.
When I was in grad school, I had a similar situation. The girl next door was young and cute. We often ran together and I had aspirations of romancing her. Turned out, she was legitimately into her doofy boyfriend and just enjoyed having someone to run with who knew a bit about training. The upside of that situation was that I ended up having fun with her equally cute roommate.
I would aim to leverage your friendship with this girl to meet other women who are not in a relationship. Staying neutral with the first one will pay off when she speaks well of you to her friends.
This is classic monkey branching,
You're her puzzy little friendzoned b*tch.
sr1 wrote:
Background on me: I'm a 3rd year med student. When I started med school, there was a girl my year who I was acquaintances with but didn't know super well. We became better friends 2nd year because we studied for some classes together, and I got to know her better and realized she is a lot of fun to hang out with, great personality, sense of humor, etc.
At the time, I was actually in a relationship that ended up not panning out. I didn't really know anything about her relationship status because she never mentioned a boyfriend. Fast forward to 3rd year: I struggled with injury problems and gave up running after starting med school, but decided to get back into it. It turns out that she is also a runner and we started doing some runs together. This is coupled with the fact that we are hanging out more, studying together, etc.
Meanwhile, a while back (before we started running together), I overhear her talking to a mutual friend of ours about her boyfriend. He gets brought up occasionally when we are in group settings among other classmates, but when I talk to her one on one, she doesn't mention him though she does know that I know about him. I know he is a PhD student at the same university that we're med students at and that they have been together at least 1-2 years but I have never met him.
Anyway, this girl and I seem to have a real connection. We run/study/hang out together a lot, have a lot in common, text quite a bit with each other, get along great humor and personality wise, and so on. The big caveat is that of course she is in a relationship, and what seems like a secure relationship... but I cannot help but wonder if there is something there, given how much we talk and get along. Are there any other ways I could gauge her potential interest in me? I don't mind staying friends but I just can't help but wonder...
Yeah just sabotage the relationship. Or play the gay card until the guy messes up. It’ll always work.
if she cheats on him with you, she'll cheat on you with someone else
Ever watch the office?
I've been "this girl," and I'm afraid you might be filling a void. A void her bf is not filling...maybe he isn't right the match for her, busy studying, out with his friends, etc. I think you have two choices, get it out in the open that you are into her and risk losing her friendship or accept the fact that she has a bf and move on from any chance you two will be an item.
rojo wrote:
I knew a guy who was into this girl all through college. At the time the girl was in a relationship with one of his friends, but she's always flirt with him. Apparently (i didn't know him in college but know him now), at the end of college, this girl was single and he thought about making a move, but then thought to hismelf, "Do I really want to be in a relatinship with a girl who has hardcore flirted with another guy (me) while in a hard-core relationship?"
Once a cheater.... Always?
So your friend wanted her, but she never did anything with him. Therefore, she was a cheater????
What does that make you and your friend then?
There are far more suitable women out there than training partners. Not worth the risk.