Background on me: I'm a 3rd year med student. When I started med school, there was a girl my year who I was acquaintances with but didn't know super well. We became better friends 2nd year because we studied for some classes together, and I got to know her better and realized she is a lot of fun to hang out with, great personality, sense of humor, etc.
At the time, I was actually in a relationship that ended up not panning out. I didn't really know anything about her relationship status because she never mentioned a boyfriend. Fast forward to 3rd year: I struggled with injury problems and gave up running after starting med school, but decided to get back into it. It turns out that she is also a runner and we started doing some runs together. This is coupled with the fact that we are hanging out more, studying together, etc.
Meanwhile, a while back (before we started running together), I overhear her talking to a mutual friend of ours about her boyfriend. He gets brought up occasionally when we are in group settings among other classmates, but when I talk to her one on one, she doesn't mention him though she does know that I know about him. I know he is a PhD student at the same university that we're med students at and that they have been together at least 1-2 years but I have never met him.
Anyway, this girl and I seem to have a real connection. We run/study/hang out together a lot, have a lot in common, text quite a bit with each other, get along great humor and personality wise, and so on. The big caveat is that of course she is in a relationship, and what seems like a secure relationship... but I cannot help but wonder if there is something there, given how much we talk and get along. Are there any other ways I could gauge her potential interest in me? I don't mind staying friends but I just can't help but wonder...
Falling for a girl who is in a relationship: Is there any hope?
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sr1 wrote:
Background on me: I'm a 3rd year med student. When I started med school, there was a girl my year who I was acquaintances with but didn't know super well. We became better friends 2nd year because we studied for some classes together, and I got to know her better and realized she is a lot of fun to hang out with, great personality, sense of humor, etc.
At the time, I was actually in a relationship that ended up not panning out. I didn't really know anything about her relationship status because she never mentioned a boyfriend. Fast forward to 3rd year: I struggled with injury problems and gave up running after starting med school, but decided to get back into it. It turns out that she is also a runner and we started doing some runs together. This is coupled with the fact that we are hanging out more, studying together, etc.
Meanwhile, a while back (before we started running together), I overhear her talking to a mutual friend of ours about her boyfriend. He gets brought up occasionally when we are in group settings among other classmates, but when I talk to her one on one, she doesn't mention him though she does know that I know about him. I know he is a PhD student at the same university that we're med students at and that they have been together at least 1-2 years but I have never met him.
Anyway, this girl and I seem to have a real connection. We run/study/hang out together a lot, have a lot in common, text quite a bit with each other, get along great humor and personality wise, and so on. The big caveat is that of course she is in a relationship, and what seems like a secure relationship... but I cannot help but wonder if there is something there, given how much we talk and get along. Are there any other ways I could gauge her potential interest in me? I don't mind staying friends but I just can't help but wonder...
Can a soccer player still score if there’s a goalkeeper? -
Jeez, you go out running together, even if she has a partner, it's an obvious signal. You wouldn't normally go out running with a person of the opposite sex if they have a partner if nothing else going on. Get in there, get married, have kids, make sure you have plenty of run time.
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Of course there is hope.
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In the past I have gone running with a person of the opposite sex and I wasn't attracted to her the same way (she also had a boyfriend). So it doesn't seem like this is a sure sign. Having running partners is nice and sometimes it is hard to find them.
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It's no coincidence that she didn't tell you she has a boyfriend. Either she is available in spite of the him, or she knows that guys don't pay attention to girls who talk about their realtionships.
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Sure, just don't become this guy
http://www.letsrun.com/forum/flat_read.php?thread=9279589&page=2 -
Yes, there is hope. Just see what happens, be honest, talk. If you like her, don't try to be buddies with her bf otherwise one of you two will be unhappy.
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Dude it's better when she has a BF.
Now it just you against 1 guy and not you against all the other guys out there -
A lot of positive feedback so far...Hmm though it was going to go the other way. It is weird that you seem to hang out so much together, I wonder if her boyfriend knows about you? But it would seem like you have a good shot
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Should I just keep continuing to hang out with her? The longer she is in a relationship, the less likely the chances of us working out happen. Also since we are in our 3rd year, it means that she might move somewhere different in a year after we finish school.
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She's talked about her boyfriend to mutual friends/classmates (female) in front of me and while I've been part of the group conversation, but not directly with me. I don't know if her boyfriend knows about me because I haven't met him but I do know who he is. I think I passed him once while going to class but he was looking in another direction.
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She won’t ever make a move. Either you make a move or nothing is gonna happen. Your choice to decide... do you wanna go for it or nah
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Be brutally honest with yourself. Is it actually possible that she is into you, or are you friend zoned? Some guys are total r-tards and cant see all of the obvious signs that they're hopelessly friend zoned. But....your description of the situation leads me to believe that she might actually like you. If so then I think you need to lay it all out on the table and tell her how you feel. Dont let her go and live the rest of your life wondering if you let "the one" get away!
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Just stay connected and maybe one day it will happen. If not there's plenty of women out there (especially if you are a doctor!).
I met a woman at the university many years ago. We had great fun together for a few weeks and just as we were both ready to be a couple I graduated. She lived like 10,000 mile away but we kept in touch. She got married a few years later. I sent a gift. About 5 years later she got divorced and then we emailed daily. This summer we will both be in Europe and might meet up so it could happen. -
You don't want there to be hope. Do you know why? If there is hope for you and you start dating her, there will likely be hope for the next guy.
Do not pursue this girl in any way unless she and her boyfriend break up for reasons that have nothing to do with you. And don't wait around for that to happen either.
Having female friends is great, but not if you get hung up on them and they keep you from dating other people. Be careful. -
There is no hope for you if you are going to be a doc and can't get your own chick.
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Letsrun ladies, do you have any inputs?
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follow your gut wrote:
If so then I think you need to lay it all out on the table and tell her how you feel. Dont let her go and live the rest of your life wondering if you let "the one" get away!
Do NOT do this. Tell her how 'you feel'? This ain't no Disney movie. I don't know where to begin. You guys have zero clue about female nature. smh... She needs to WONDER how you feel. She needs to WORK for your attention and companiinship. That will be all for now. I can't believe this place. -
You miss 100% of the shots you don't take
Some of those that you take you will make.
Seems simple enough, don't over do it or be creepy, just make intentions clear. "Hey I'm into you, let's go out together..."
