There are, however, a few things that are potentially pretty big mental hurdles for me, one of which being her finances. I am a pretty frugal guy and have been my whole life. I don't need much and have always lived way beneath my means, carefully consider every significant purchase, monitor my finances, strategize ways to save money, etc. I save/invest almost 40% of my net income each year and will be generating literally tens of thousands of dollars per year in passive income from my investments by the time I'm 40.
My girlfriend on the other hand is perpetually flat-arse broke, doesn't even really have a savings account (never has more than a couple hundred bucks in it), and is in this state mostly due to her own choices such as having a cat and dog, an expensive cell phone, and living places that were beyond her means her entire adult life. She has lived places literally more than 3X as expensive as where I've lived despite making LESS money than me. She says she hates being poor, hates the anxiety, not being able to do things, but she doesn't seem to make the connection that she could do away with that simply by living somewhere a little cheaper. She has also stated if she had more money she would get a bigger place and get more dogs (rather than pay off her student loans or save for retirement, etc).
I'm coming here for advice because, like I said, it's a big issue for me, and one we need to talk about. We've barely talked about it before because she hates the subject and gets very defensive and agitated when it comes up. It appears to me that she really has no ability to prioritize when it comes to finances, takes for granted that she HAS to live in a nice place regardless of whether she can afford it, and she's never thought long term about money ever in her life. I want to talk to her about these things in a very gentle and productive way, and I'd also like to share some about my finances without sharing all the details as I think that would lead to her feeling like I don't spend enough on her since if she had the money that I do she'd blow it all. I honestly kind of worry that intertwining our lives long term end with her pretty much bleeding me to death.
Any help with this? I know this is a common problem in marriages and relationships in general... Is it a deal breaker for an otherwise healthy relationship?