What was the lowest point of your life, and did you recover from it?

I distinctly remember the lowest moment of my life. My senior year of high school my life went from a normal suburban child's upbringing to chaos. I had started smoking weed fairly often in the summer leading up to the school year and I was also dating someone two grades below me. I ran cross country and was in by far the best shape of my life entering that season (ironic with the excessive marijuana usage, but I honestly loved training high back then). I was definitely hanging out with the wrong crowd, I was a good kid growing up but eventually I became more worried about "fitting in" then having good priorities so I started making poor decisions. My girlfriend's parents hated me (because I was a terrible influence I can say that in hindsight), but I really did love her so the threat of them not allowing her to see me stressed me out constantly. I got injured to start my senior season (really bad case of sciatica, had no idea what it was at the time) and it kept me out for about 6 weeks. I became depressed, I started smoking every day and showing up to school high and eventually got into harder drugs.

Things at home were falling apart. I got into multiple fistfights with both my brother and father and I really severely injured my father's back one of the times. I eventually got to run to end my senior season, but I was such a headcase from everything I couldn't race well. I started losing friends, doing worse in school, more drugs, and just grew to hate myself. I eventually tried to commit suicide by jumping off a bridge, but a cop saw me and made me go inpatient. The moment I saw my parent's faces when they came in to see me and the look they had was easily the most horrifying thing I had ever seen. The look on their faces said "How did this happen? We have completely failed as parents", but something inside me didn't believe that. That was rock bottom. The rest of the year and summer were terrible, but I eventually went out of state for college to run. At first I still had no self worth, but I wanted to turn things around merely for the sake of my parents, but now I can confidently say I'm happy.

The 6 years since I tried to kill myself have been so much more fulfilling than the 18 leading up to that point. I still struggle with my emotions at times and drink a bit more than I should, but I feel purpose. I am currently coaching collegiate cross country and track because being on a team in college and the wonderful coaches and athletes I met were really what helped me find out how to love myself.

That is absolutely awful. I am so sorry, I hope they are brought to justice.

I will confess a few things about my life that I am not proud of.

-I was physically abusive to my sister for a number of years during my adolescence

She continues to hold resentment towards me, not sure she will ever forgive me.

I don't excuse my behavior. I was an angry kid with no friends and short temper.

-I also occasionally kicked my family dog because I was such an angry kid. The dog didn't deserve it.

-I have messaged numerous women in my city multiple times using online dating sites, over a period

of months - years. Some I estimate I've messaged 6, maybe 8 times, over the course of 6 months. That's a

rough estimate, off the top of my head. That would be a high end. The communication was always respectful,

as in 'hi, how are you' or 'hi, what's up',

but I do understand my behavior could be interpreted as a form of online harassment.

That being said, I will forgive myself for the most part because I only met a small number of women

from online dating. The women I messaged several times likely received many messages and didn't think

much of mine at the end of the day.

Middle aged, successful in others eyes but struggling daily. I dated / married my high school seeetheart. First date age 16, married at age 23. Commuted to college together, never broke up and have a crappy family situation with a manipulative mother.

My wife had open heart surgery at age 18, I was there for it so I’ve been in the long play on the relationship. Have no real friends other than her. We grew up together, best friends and still are. Our relationship struggles.

A lot of problems conceiving that led to counseling for her. When a woman defines her life by having children and cannot it is hard. A miracle happened after ten years of trying, 5 or 6 IVF failures (those were hard). During ten year period she was pregnant 2 or 3 times and we always had a failed (no heartbeat) at 3 month checkup. Had to cancel work trips, try to be there, be strong. All the stuff a guy is supposed to do. Got so bad that her mom told her that she needed help to support me. It was just a choice I made, I figured I went al in young and it it mine to bear.

We finally conceived, I thought I hit the lotto and life was nothing but up. Well it was twins, with all history she was high risk. Delivered at week 30, spends months in hospital, you name a procedure or ward been there. Finally came home, struggles early with preemie stuff but all in all good. Think I’m over it, can look forward to raising daughters and fading with my wife/ friend. Can’t get any worse right?

Last spring she started having congestive heart failure. Weeks in hospital, more tests than I can remember. They put her on heart transplant list. Every day is a gift now, I pray my ten year olds have a mom until they get thru high school. E mvery day it hangs on me, not for me but my daughters.

It can get worse I know but running and beating my self up is my only release. One day at a time, thought I found a low spot each time but am surprised that something else happens

Done whining

My lowest point was freshman year in college in 2011. End of senior year, I got into a fight with my parents on career choices. I wanted to study accounting, but my parents wanted me to become an engineer. During the period, my parents kept annoying me about it that it really pissed me off. Because of this, I got depressed, wasn't behaving well on and off social media, and also drank (Keep in mind I wasn't abusing alcohol). Sometimes when people pissed you off, you do stupid things at departments where no one can control you (If you don't know what I mean, refer to Jim Harbaugh's 49ers. Harbaugh pissed players off on the field, but he didn't control them off the field to the point where players were getting arrested). Long story short, I did something stupid that involved alcohol and social media. It resulted in embarrassment, loss of friends, etc.

That was the lowest of the low point. From that day on, I slowly started to rise, but there were setbacks. I still made mistakes, but I learned and moved on. Despite all the garbage I was going through with my parents, I still maintained good grades. What helped is my parents let me live in dorms during the second semester of freshman year. I had independence that I met group of older college students that were Christians. Being around them made me change in personality and gave me a perspective of what life is all about. Some were willing to give me advice on how to handle my parents. At the same time, I joined the club track team after taking so much time off running. It wasn't easy because the club was low budgeted, but running helped me mentally.

After freshman year, I was able to walk on to the XC team. I still was in the fight with my parents. I followed my friends' advice and yeah my parents gave in. After that, I never looked back and to this day I strive to become the better version of me despite setbacks. I am working as an accountant at a tech company and also still run competitively.

I survived the sinking of the Titanic (but I froze my azz off waiting for rescue), the Lusitania (I'm a double-dipper), the Andrea Doria (a nice Italian honey kept me warm), and the Costa Concordia (this time I just held my breath until rescue arrived). Additionally, I've been dissected, demoralized, defeated, denied, dragged, drugged, demonized, drubbed, doinked (on the noggin), dunked (that same noggin, held underwater), denigrated, disemboweled, decimated, d*mned, denounced, denuded, and diametrically opposed...

...Nah, not really. I'm just a Hollywood soap opera scriptwriter looking for ideas. I came to the right place.

I reach new lows all the time

Sitting on a curb in New Orleans (2 feet over sea level) with a back injury that cost me 3.5 years of running. Two days after turning 40, I had an accident at work. Was signed up for the Houston half marathon. Couldn't work so I went south anyway. Couple days after sitting on that curb, I "raced" a 5k in Florida where my goal was 17 minutes. Took me over 55 minutes. After doing the math, I decided against the half marathon which would have taken me over 4 hours to complete.

Now at 54, I have been running continuously for over 10 years. My back took about 7 years to completely heal.

I lived in a studio apartment on Western Avenue in Hollywood in the late 1980’s. There were hookers outside the building door. I was trying to make it as a guitar player in a band and production person in movies. I was totally alone in a bad neighborhood and it was a dangerous way to live, but I was young and knew that I was paying dues.

Low point was in 2009. Lost my mom to cancer. I watched her die. And couldnt do anything about it. I was 21 or 22.

Like other posters, after that event I cant remember her voice. Or anything at all actually.

If you all are familiar with breaking bad, theres an episode in the first season where Walt gives a pillow speech. He says he doesnt want to go through chemo therapy because he doesnt want to choke down 30 or 40 pills, where hes too tired to get out of bed. Too numb to feel anything. Some dead man, artificially alive. Just marking time.

And he ends the speech by saying, "and thats howd you remember me. Thats the worst part."

When I watched this, an uncontrollable wave of sadness rushed through me and I never cried so hard...because it was f ucking true. It was exactly what happened. In real life. In my life. Close up. Not in a f ucking tv show. How did the creators of that show know exactly what that was like?

Ever since then Ive been afraid of everything. I got married too early for fear of never finding someone as nice and kind as her. She wanted a kid and I was too afraid to get a divorce. Contemplating suicide now because now I really truly dont have any options. Ive heard horror stories of guys getting their life ruined when theres kids involved. Ive done the math, I would end up being poor. And a 31 year old skinny runner dude, broke, divorced with a kid isnt going to attract a beautiful woman. So what is the point?

The only reason Im still here is because there are a few people who would love nothing more than to realize I killed myself and its a weird motivation, but I want to stay alive, just so that they dont win.

Once our kid arrives I will have a new purpose in life, to be responsible and a good dad. Im not sure how to be happy knowing Ive made the wrong decisions in life, but I will teach my kid how to speak confidently, shake hands, look people in the eye, say thank you, be kind to others, and if hes interested, introduce him to the sport of long distance running.

This is why I hate it when people harshly judge others for taking drugs, not knowing what pain may be behind it.

Have you considered taking it forward? Or would you rather not. I only ask because of how you describe how it's affecting you now. I know some things are better left.

I hope you find peace and I hope the people who did this to you never will.

In the UK there is no statute of limitations on (most) sexual offences.

I am glad you found running.

Maybe one day I will write on here about my low point (it is not about sexual assault). It is about a decision that was made on my behalf that altered the course of my life. Ironically, it involves a Catholic priest.

I fell 45 feet on a mountain cliff just before sunset with nothing on me. A part of the mountain broke in my hand and I just fell and got injured. I had no rock climbing material as I was free climbing. No way down. No way up, the back against the cliff in the night.

I was terrified.

In the end I was able to get airlifted.

I have been falling against this cliff often in my dreams...

I didn't mention something else that has helped keep me on a positive path forward, which is a natural inclination toward a positive point of view, or "glass-half-full-ed-ness."

This may sound trite (probably will), but you get to choose how you look back at past events, and to my mind, that's the secret to happiness: choosing to take a generally positive (glass half full, not half empty) perspective on whatever you look back on. Some things are harder to view positively than others, but every single event can be examined from more than one point of view, ranging from entirely positive to entirely negative.

I've been blessed (I'm using that word a second time, even though I have no spiritual beliefs at all; here I mean I've enjoyed blind luck) to be wired such that I tend to see the positive in things that have already transpired. If we were to replay the tapes of my life, independent, objective observers might conclude I've had a lot of bad luck, as I've faced a lot of challenges, but when I query my memory of the past, very few significant challenges stand out as being near-world-ending (other than, at least, the one I've mentioned). I therefore have this (probably entirely unfounded) belief that I've been pretty lucky my whole life, and I tend to expect good look in the future.

I'm not sure to what degree one can choose to take a more positive view than they otherwise might (and fight against subconscious instinct for negativity), but I'm sure it can be done to some degree, and I think it can make a difference in healing.

Because I live in a 3 second bubble, the lowest point of my life is right now.

I have been permanently banned from posting on this site.

Maybe I will get the best most expensive military grade VPN technology to just post on LR...

But I will not use Pure Hate for that.

Adieu.

I think this is really the alpha and the omega. You can slough off literally ANY hardship if blessed with the right mindset. Whether it's rape or the loss of your legs or your entire family being butchered in front of you by the government or dying from disease. I know some people who have this gift, no matter how sideways their life seems to go, they somehow seem to remain cheerful and bright and, at worst, seem to look at even major catastrophe as little more than another minor inconvenience. Certain always that better days are always just ahead.

Regrettably, I am not among those so blessed with such a mindset. If anything I've been given the opposite as, especially anymore, I'm somehow able to find dread and worry and anxiety even in circumstances which are unequivocally good and positive. It's strange because I feel that I USED to have the other, generally positive and hopeful mindset years ago. Somewhere along the line I've lost the ability. I once as a kid drove an absolute heap of junk truck across the entire US continent and arrived at my destination with 20 dollars to my name, and had not a worry, not a dread, not a care in the world. I couldn't do the same thing now in a brand-new car and with fifteen grand in the bank, without a wet blanket of dread weighing me down the entire time that something would go wrong.

This has also caused me to look at those who DO have that hopeful, positive mindset ability as almost borderline mentally ill. Some absolute dedication to self-delusion in the face of certain destruction. Or even a weakness within them, that disallows them to truly face the facts of a situation. To this day I'm still not entirely sure which it is. If those pollyanna people genuinely just believe in the good of the universe, or if they're just vigorously lying to themselves and to others out of pride or fear or something.

also contributed earlier wrote:This has also caused me to look at those who DO have that hopeful, positive mindset ability as almost borderline mentally ill. Some absolute dedication to self-delusion in the face of certain destruction. Or even a weakness within them, that (1) disallows them to truly face the facts of a situation. To this day I'm still not entirely sure which it is. If those pollyanna people genuinely just believe in the good of the universe, or (2) if they're just vigorously lying to themselves and to others out of pride or fear or something.

(1) I think this misses the point a little, since "objective facts" are a rare thing, and nearly everything we perceive and process as "fact" is in fact a subjective view of reality, rooted largely (IMHO) in emotion and personal experience.

(2) I'll admit I don't know how it works. If I could bottle it I might try to sell it... But if I can link this back to (1), we all "lie" to ourselves whenever we treat any perception of a situation as objective fact. Which lie is worse; the one that makes you feel better about the situation, or the one that makes you feel worse? I'll leave that question to the philosophers...

A period of depression and uncontrollable anxiety. The Lord saved me. Yes there is medication and psychiatrists and an understanding wife and a fine family. But the Lord was behind all of it.

Romans 8:1-2: “Therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death.”

I am much better though I will never be entirely the same. But perhaps that is ok; perhaps I am a better Christian man for it.

I hope you find a way to move forward from your terrible injustice. If you haven’t done so, seek precessional help. You are not alone. We wish the best for you. Just a footnote here...I know all religions have issues, but the Catholic Church has shown little effort to hold its ‘leaders’ accountable for their crimes, and they are crimes. How dare the Catholic Church or pope tell me how to live my life when this stuff has gone on inside its own faith. Why it tolerates it, I don’t have a clue. I can only hope that for the ones charged and convicted, they get some prison justice once they get to prison. It’s not just that faith either. I live in a large city with ‘prosperity preachers’ guilt of the same crimes, wasting the church money on Bentleys, mansions and jets. I know I have digressed, but to any of you needing help, there is no shame in getting it. You are not alone.

While I understand what you are saying and agree in principle, I think your number one is a touch off base. Someone diagnosed with cancer must face the "fact" that they have cancer. Some may perceive this with hope and faith and see it as little more than a bump in the road, and have no question but that they will emerge better and stronger for it. Others may interpret the same news as a death sentence. Either way, the diagnosis and consequent situation is the same. There are many situations in which the reality is factual. You have an accident and you lose your leg. The leg is gone, you're not going to have the leg again. That's not open to interpretation or mutable based on personal experience. The manner in which you move forward or deal with it may be, but the fact is, whether you're optimistic or pessimistic, you now have one leg.

It's a bit hard to say. My life isn't over yet.