1. Get over yourself. At least you are Alive and presumably physically healthy.
Emotional stress is something you can learn to deal with. Be thankful you are alive.
It boggles my mind how so many people prioritize relationships (yes, I know it's not always fun being alone)
when they have so many things to be thankful for. So many people in this world struggle
and have health problems, have never had a relationship, etc. Be thankful and enjoy life.
2. Based on what you've written, it sounds like you value this relationship a lot. So many
women (not all, I can't speak for all women) value relationships and it seems are afraid
or insecure of being confident and single on their own.
3. You can't blame your boyfriend for living his life the way he wants to. If he broke off an engagement
you had with him, he just didn't care enough to do the engagement. The problem is
women are so emotional and tend to value relationships so much, they will look past many things to keep
the relationship going.
Be happy, figure it out, your happiness is not dependent on him or anyone else.