Anyone run fast times and get great grades through school but have little to show for it?

Define average life? I assume you're from the states so even if you think your life sucks, it doesn't. Try walking 5 miles one way to get clean water and living in complete filth with hardly any food to eat. Get over yourself and appreciate what you've got. If you don't like your life then do something about it.

Worth it all?? wrote:

It’s assumed that if you have a great GPA and/or run a 14:00 5k you’ll be successful. Anyone have that past who now has a menial or terrible job and average life? If so, where did things go wrong?

A 14:00 5k would have made me successful? A great GPA with a silly degree would make me successful?

Worth it all?? wrote:

It’s assumed that if you have a great GPA and/or run a 14:00 5k you’ll be successful. Anyone have that past who now has a menial or terrible job and average life? If so, where did things go wrong?

Yep, right here. Not exactly, but yep. Not a runner, but high level athlete in a different sport. Good enough grades / writing ability to be accepted to Harvard.

Didn't go to Harvard. Followed my interests. Ultimately left university shy of degree due to boredom, went to work instead.

Currently, 20 years after high school, I am marooned alone in a tiny sheep village (pop 1200) in the mountains of southern spain and have been stuck here for 6 months. No income, no idea where next income will come from. Nearly zero social interaction of any consequence, go weeks without a conversation. Unmarried. Renting house of an absent friend for 300€ monthly, house will likely soon be sold. I've no idea where will go after that.

However, it is all a question of perspective. I don't regret leaving university, and I don't believe my life would have gone any different had I remained and finished it out. I didn't wash out, I left with good grades. I wasn't coddled as a kid, and moved out at 18 like you're supposed to. My collapse hasn't been due to any of the usual culprits - never had a substance abuse problem, never any trouble with the law, never any real financial problems. I have no debt and a credit score over 800. I am not broke, I just don't know where my next money is coming from and am not legally allowed to work in the country I'm living in. I have lived all over the usa and in major capitals of a dozen other countries and can function well in three languages. I have extremely varied work experience and the respect of quite a few well-known and well-respected people. I am healthy and fit, have no tattoos, do not smoke, and my teeth are good. I am not socially awkward or ugly. Am intelligent, well-read, and can express myself eloquently.

And yet, I am a loser with poor judgement who has absolutely no idea how to make money. I qualify as one who, in youth and adolescence, gave every indication of high achievement and yet, here I am. My parents love me (they say) and are both proud of me (they say) but it is difficult speaking to them for the shame I feel over the failure Ive made of my life. I do not see how one could have so promising-seeming a son who amounts to the grade of nothing that I have, and not be ashamed of him. So we don't speak often. I feel I owe them something I'll never be able, at this point, to repay.

That's all. I'm one of them. So beware. Good at sports and good at school doesn't necessarily mean anything, with regards your future. I am proof that you don't even need some major screw-up to take you down. Drugs, alcohol, accidental pregnancy, criminal behaviour, financial irresponsibility, poor health choices -- none of them are to blame for my fall. It seems it is possible to simply wither away spiritually in spite of all best efforts. So beware.

Worth it all?? wrote:

It’s assumed that if you have a great GPA and/or run a 14:00 5k you’ll be successful. Anyone have that past who now has a menial or terrible job and average life? If so, where did things go wrong?

You have just about described the BroJos perfectly. Sad, but true.

I think, you are too hard on yourself, or you enjoy this self pity. Why don't you move out of that village? It doesn't sound like you have too many friends there. Are you afraid of change, or are you too lazy to even fathom a change?

Why don't you, for a start, ask around and offer to tutor kids, or even adults, in math, history, chemistry, or English? If you really try and show some enthusiasm, you might make some money. Move around, take seasonal jobs (I bet they don't check with social security or healthcare in Spain much), apply for an English conversation teacher position (they have serious demand for that in most EU countries). You don't need a certificate in many EU countries, if you are a native speaker and have at least high school diploma.

Take some online courses, get ESL certificate, finish your degree online, whatever. Start with the easiest, most available change. Step by step. Hell, try to open a franchise fast food chain in that village - you'll be shocked how that might be successful (I am not talking about McDonald's exactly, but rather something less ubiquitous in smaller regions of EU).

You are not a failure, until you completely waste your life. That won't be until your death, which might be 60 or more years from now. Do you want to wail in self pity until then? That would be a real waste.

Start today. You are healthy, reasonably smart, and young. Ditch the passivity and DO SOMETHING, anything. And BTW, I bet your parents love you and would like to see you/hear from you more often, despite whatever demon you had built in your head. Ask your parents for an advice, or even help, but show some initiative. I am sure they would love to help you.

Good luck.

Dude, that guy is trolling you.

Joke's on me, if he is trolling. I just felt like he needed some inspiration and little shove. Seems like I am little too gullible.

Former bronze medalist in another sport where I competed 7 years internationally. Now I'm 50 and have a job I hate. I live through my kids' athletic achievements and eating as many hot dogs as I can. My only regret is not choosing a career that I would enjoy and instead chased money that I never got.

OK, maybe I was misunderstood - the fast food chain option was suggested as entrepreneurial job - having the franchise, not flipping the burgers. But if you were so low, so be it. Still better than to despair.

And marrying young and poor - well, it doesn't go well with not trusting anyone. But I agree that in business, always apply - good agreements make good friends. Don't ever assume honesty and morals, when it comes to money.

You had learned your lesson, now do it correctly. Use your relative freedom and more choices than your peers with families and many ties, or burdens/responsibilities.

If not for my kids, I would love to explore my chances in more risky business opportunities. But such is life.

You should try writing professionally

right here wrote:

And yet, I am a loser with poor judgement who has absolutely no idea how to make money. I qualify as one who, in youth and adolescence, gave every indication of high achievement and yet, here I am. My parents love me (they say) and are both proud of me (they say) but it is difficult speaking to them for the shame I feel over the failure Ive made of my life. I do not see how one could have so promising-seeming a son who amounts to the grade of nothing that I have, and not be ashamed of him. So we don't speak often. I feel I owe them something I'll never be able, at this point, to repay.

Your parents are assholes whose love is conditional on their offspring achieving things that they think refect well on them.

This is why you think you owe them (you don’t), why you think you are a loser (you’re not) and why you seem unsure as to whether they love you (they don’t, at least not the real you).

This is one of the most common ways parents (often middle-class college educated parents who should know better) fvck up their kids.

Talk to them. If I’m wrong then they can offer you genuine love and support.

If they talk you down even slightly, know that your opinion of yourself (their opinion) is false.

A great grades from a mediocre school majoring in non-STEM area adds up to nothing. 14 min 5K is useless in job market. College is a business these days. They give out "great grades" to every idiot who is willing to pay. All of this was quite foreseeable though.

Can wrote:

You should try writing professionally

I'm reminded of the S. Beckett.

Vladimir: You should have been a poet.

Estragon: I was. (Gestures toward his rags.) Isn't that obvious?

The IP does check out.

Nothing in the OP's post justifies any of your full of sh!t conclusions about the OP's parents.

And yet everything about that paragraph screams unresolved issues (if it is genuine).

Not being harsh, just cutting to the chase.

Notice how I’ve allowed for the possibilty that I might be wrong and full of sh!t.

Lots of people I know have the exact same issue The cause? The education system and culture (for many people) did not address what's needed: How to teach students to interface with the economic system, understanding finance (in general), health and law (in general).

For example, instead of sitting through a class on trigonometry you sat through a class that showed you how successful people earn money? Like the guy who buys at product at a certain place and sells it at another for a profit and makes a million a year.

Worth it all?? wrote:

It’s assumed that if you have a great GPA and/or run a 14:00 5k you’ll be successful. Anyone have that past who now has a menial or terrible job and average life? If so, where did things go wrong?

I would suggest that with a great GPA and a 14:00 5 km you've already been successful, have quite a bit to show for it, and always will. Now you've moved into other areas of life where success will mean doing other things and will need to do other things to be successful in those areas.

FOr real dude? What did you win a bronze medal in? That’s impressive. Most would consider that to be successful. Why hot dogs and how many can you eat?

We all live through our kids, at least a little.

Most people don’t like their jobs although may not ‘hate’ them