Antidepressants and running: I think I'm about to call it quits

STOP - and please watch "Food Matters" on Netflix, PARTICULARLY the portion on depression and super-dosing Niacin (a natural vitamin). You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

This is not hippy bullshit, it's doctors that have been killing malignant tumors with super-doses of vitamin C for 25 years - a natural treatment that is illegal in most countries due to the lobbying power of a half a trillion dollar global Pharm industry.

OPhere wrote:

Did the docs exclude all possible organic causes? Vitamin D deficiency, that kind of thing? I’m only asking because I know it’s easier for many GP’s/FNP’s to prescribe an antidepressant than try to really find out what’s wrong.

Before I was prescribed medication I had tons of bloodwork done. I hate taking any kind of medicine (advil/tylenol included), so I wanted to make sure nothing else was going on. All the tests came back normal so I was prescribed antidepressants. That was two years ago though so maybe its time for another checkup[/quote]

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How vitamins and minerals interact with the body is not well understood, and even if it were it is not a part of the training, academic or in practice, for any American doctors. Whether blood work presented something alarming or not would indicate more of an acute issue anyway- which is one thing medicine is good at treating. Chronic conditions are hopeless as only the symptoms can be treated because the underlying causes are so misunderstood. What is considered a deficiency is based only upon what is "normal" in the American diet, not some scientific basis for the milligrams per day of each vitamin and mineral. Look around you, the American or western diet is far from normal and its killing people - your depression one chronic symptom on a laundry list of problems created by the underlying issue, which is the utter crap that we eat.

I would talk to your doc about other options or potentially weening off. I am on antidepressants myself (prozac) but was put on them a year or so before I even started running in 2017 so I never saw anything slow down. I find the combination of medicine and running to be a perfect combination for depression, personally. Wish you the best of luck, whatever you figure out to do!

Another thing I forgot to tell OP is that it's not just the drugs that are slowing down his times. It's the depression/mood disorder itself.

So OP can get off the drugs and make his life very difficult, but he won't magically return to his old athletic performance.

As far as Niacin (B3 vitamin), it's actually pretty good for anxiety. I used it in college when I was trying to stay off anti-depressants. I wasn't aware that I had a legit, biological mood disorder. The niacin helped with the anxiety, but in retrospect I obviously should have been on anti-depressants.

With depression, you don't even know how much you're suffering, and how difficult you are making your life, until you get out of the depression. And with a mood disorder like OP has, that will only come by getting/staying on the right meds, exercising to the point of "runner's high", and OP can also supplement with niacin.

OP one thing to keep in mind is that you can trust your doctor all you want, but they still might have a financial angle to their advice. You might be just as well off on a combination of Mirtazapine and a generic SSRI (generic prozac, zoloft, paxil, lexapro).

Your doctor has you on some harder-core stuff, that may very well be much more expensive, and in your doctor's financial interest to prescribe.

I had two South Indian doctors in NYC who prescribed me the expensive name brand meds that I couldn't quite afford, rather than the generic versions that would have allowed me to function at a level that would have kept me living in NYC.

Some/many doctors can/will f your whole wallet/life up with their financially driven prescription choices.

Another key issue to keep in mind for the long-term: After a few years, one of your meds might pop out on you, and you won't even know it. You will just know that you're not feeling good, when in reality you're sinking into a deep dark depression that could make you suicidal.

Just one more factor to stay vigilant about, OP. Because depression and self-awareness don't go together very well. All the more reason to keep depression at bay as much as possible by staying on medication, even if you try to switch medicines at least stay on something.

You have asked non-medical doctors to review your thoughts.

Since you have been taking drugs for your depression or other moods, you have made yourself dependent.

Before you started taking drugs (prescription or not is tomato or tomato) were you harming yourself? Were you harming others? Were you hearing voices in your head? Were you seeing false images?

The world is partially messed up. It is not rational to walk around with happy thoughts 24/7.

Have a good journey going forward.

I second most of this, especially the notion of running being the best anti-depressant out there. I have been dealing with major depression every simgle day for 6 years flat and it s exhausting, my major depression was brought on by a thyroid condition called hashimoto’s thyroiditis - it completely changed the way I felt chemically almost overnight. I was a happy, lively healthy person who could deal with anything up until age 17 and then suddenly BAM! my life turned from happiness, energy and hope to illness, misery and suicidal thoughts.

It is definitely worth getting your thyroid checked as having a sub-optimal thyroid can trigger the onset of depression and/or make any existing depression ten times worse. Runners who have a history of being overtrained are at risk for thyroid abnormalities due to the stress it places on the body. Luckily, I have managed to sort my thyroid issues out and put them into remission with a course of medication and a conplete diet and lifestyle overhaul. I am no longer chronically ill but I am still mentally ill with my mood disorder.

The advice given not to stop running is sound, my mental health isn’t great and I am still depressed but at times when I have had to stop running or have chosen to stop completely, my mental health has plummeted from bad to absolutely unbearable.

Do anything you can do increase your dopamine levels in a safe way. Exercise (obviously) is the most powerful way to do this, getting a good amohnt of sleep, good diet, relaxing hot baths with magnesium salts to calm your mind from the negative thoughts and if it is legal where you are, using marijuana is a sensible way would probably be beneficial. Some people with MDD have a tendancy to go over the top with drugs though as they get so little dopamine on a daily basis that they crave it, if you did use marijuana do not do what I did and go completely overboard on it and dose up 10+ times a day.

Good luck on your journey OP, I know none of this is easy and I also know having this type of depression can make you feel very isolated but you are not alone.

I got depressed around sophomore/junior year of college, too. College can be very stressful trying to balance training, getting an education, attracting the opposite sex, and figuring out what you want to do with your life. That's part of life. Accept it and deal with it.

I agree with some posters that you should drop the meds (if possible at this point). You don't want to go through life in an emotionless, medicated state. It is a good thing to feel sad sometimes and happy at others.

I wouldn't quit running just yet. You've committed to the team, and you should finish that obligation even if you won't perform as well as you once did. You'll look back at your time on the team fondly no matter what.

I took a break from running for about 5 years after graduating. I got a better idea of what life was all about, and then I stumbled into coaching. I've been running and coaching ever since, and I couldn't be happier. I look back at those days of stress and depression in college and wish I knew then what I know now.

damm it sucks to hear another LRC member feeling this way. I know sometimes long "feelings" threads can get ignored on here but forreal OP to whatever extent we can...LR gots your back. As far as the running goes, I'd say do what makes you happy. A full training cycle can be a mental grind and kinda get us away from what we all love so much about this sport. If I were you I would stop your cycle and only run when it makes you happy.

This is a really tough issue, and seems like youre between a rock and a hard place. I would discuss starting cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) with your therapist. Studies have shown that it can be just as effective as medication, but you won’t have the side effects impacting your running. Again, make sure you discuss with a professional before you go off medication. Don’t play around with MDD, it could cost you your life

Great post, as a lot of people go through similar challenges at different degrees of severity. All of us, however, eventually hit the point when we can't improve as a runner any more. Most of us hit that point in college. For me it was Junior year. Regardless of the clinical depression, hitting that point when you feel like you are getting worse, contribute less to the team, are letting yourself and everyone else down... is a major bummer. So, keep in mind that everyone hits that point at some place in their lives. What worked best for me, was to keep on running for enjoyment, but not to focus on the PRs as a measure of success. I picked up other sports and activities where I have no previous marks or PRs, so that I could start over setting personal bests and enjoying incremental improvement. Sports that involve technical proficiency (i.e. it was squash for me, but there are hundreds of choices) are really fun and initial improvement is based less on physical fitness and more on honing technique and skill. Most colleges have extracurricular sports like ultimate frisbee, tennis, swimming etc. You should continue to run for fun and fitness, explore some other activities and sports, stay on your medicines to keep in balance. I know that this is far easier to say than to do. Just take one step this month, like joining an extracurricular sport (maybe you have a buddy that is already doing one that can pull you in?). Give it a shot even if you aren't convinced that it is a good idea. Good luck!

I'm going through a remarkably similar situation (albeit I've experienced less success). I recently ended up leaving my team and hanging up the spikes- my personal opinion is that at the end of the day, this sport doesn't matter outside of those who follow it. It's very easy to leave and come back to, but as a graduation senior about to work on a very stressful and important transition phase of your life, be it a job or grad school, sometimes the grind of the sport isn't what you need anymore. Take care of yourself first and foremost, and if at some point down the line you feel that fire again it's VERY easy to pick running back up. If you aren't at 100%, and you bring less than a positive mental mindset (through no fault of your own) to workouts and training, your teammates deserve more as well. They sound like good friends if they're supportive, but make the best choice both for you and your program.

Pretzel Man wrote:

kyoto wrote:

When you say you care, what does that mean?

It means I care about another human being.

+1. I mean, what a stupid question!

OP,

I applaud you for (1) pursuing treatment and engaging in therapy; (2) for the courage to start this thread despite knowing there is a small group of posters here who will be negative; and (3) for NOT giving up on running without seeking the opinions of others who may have been in a situation such as yours. I don't have any advice or enough perspective to give you helpful guidance, but I do hope you keep on pursuing an answer (medical or otherwise) to your drop in running performance. Don't lose hope.

Secondly, I want to give credit to the other commentators who have given thoughtful and personal replies.

It's encouraging to see strangers sharing their personal stories and feelings trying to help someone else.

aRankAmateur wrote:

It's encouraging to see strangers sharing their personal stories and feelings trying to help someone else.

Stranger? I'm no stranger! And you don't know the history of psychiatry. I do.

Glad to read this post and a lot of this definitely resonates with me. I descended into a brutal depression 10 years ago and took a few years to find the right meds for me. Meanwhile I had a bunch of Electroconvulsive sessions that kept me afloat in between a few inpatient and partial hospitalization stints. Eventually I was well enough to marry and hold a job, though i have to keep working every day to hold this depression at bay enough to live my life. I’ve blamed a lot of things like memory issues and running performance on the meds, but it always turns out it’s my depression that’s to blame. Regular Mindfulness training and daily exercise are really important, as well as hobbies and socializing, and staying away from added sugar as much as possible.

From reading your post, you might consider whether it’s really your depression affecting your ability to run as you used to. I found that to be the case. Depression can make your legs feel heavier than lead, and it can take all your energy to get out the door and just try to get it done.

Consider your recovery your number one priority right now. It’s a multi-pronged approach and forces you to prioritize things in your life but keep at it!

This isn't adice, just another perspective for thought.

I'm surprised not many people have experienced running to be a source of despression. I personally understand both sides of it. Running has been a great antidepressant when I need a goal and more structure. It can distract my thoughts when that's necessary. But not long ago I took about five years off and it was a huge relief. I can't emphasize how good it was for my mental state. Running is so solidary, and it's a bit of a paradox where you have to grapple with why you're willing to sacrifice so much and for what return. What I personally learned was that I was missing this living thing that other people do. I prioritized socializing and doing what I thought was fun. It felt like a prison escape to me and getting connected to so many social circles brought me to life. I'm an introvert too.

Anyway, again, this isn't advice. If I'm trying to portray a moral to this story I would say don't feel obligated- this is just a moment in time, the time will pass, a lot will change in life over the years- constantly- the world doesn't end- do what makes you feel better as running will be there if you ever needed it again. There's something out there that you really love and are really uniquely good at and gives you purpose. Maybe you're already doing it or maybe you've yet to cross paths yet.

Great thread everybody.

Please read this wrote:

STOP - and please watch "Food Matters" on Netflix, PARTICULARLY the portion on depression and super-dosing Niacin (a natural vitamin). You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

This is not hippy bullshit, it's doctors that have been killing malignant tumors with super-doses of vitamin C for 25 years - a natural treatment that is illegal in most countries due to the lobbying power of a half a trillion dollar global Pharm industry.

⤴⤴ Useful! Another side effect of Highly synthetic precriptions are taking your creativity. If I knew your name I would say the world needs ("name") you need to find that and it can't be clouded with anti depressants. I was a former "ADD" patient. I was on the whole cocktail of Ritalin, Adderrall etc. Initially these may actually have a performance enhancement but soon it takes your adrenals and makes you into that zombie state. For me it added 1:30 to my 5k...

Use the protocol to go off antidepressants. The givens are: 1. BLOOd test-takkng to a sports nutritionist. Most likely doctors glaze over them summarizing that your in the average well if things are average that's not doing any good to get out of a hormone altered MDD.

2.) VitD, B12, TSH, B9(folate), and check to see if your blood absorbs folic acid. All these nutrients should be optimal UPper end range.

3.) Omega 3-6-9 It's not uncommon to have someone take 8 softgels/day

4.) 600mg/Magnesium Glycinate

Very similar situation and timeline of yours. By my senior year I decided to “take a break” from running. I was in a full

Scholarship, doc 1, national championship team. I didn’t know how to enjoy running without being good so I was miserable doing it. On top of that the previous years I was riddled with injuries that didn’t help with the depression. Long story short I found to love running again. I don’t do it competitively but I find the best medicine for me is a run. You’ll figure it out and learn life is a journey through ups and downs but for now put your energy into being an overall healthy human. Tbh I wouldn’t cut running out completely. Find joy in the act of running (don’t think of it as getting faster or hard workouts or mileage). I believe moderate excercise is beneficial to everyone especially those that suffer from depression. Hang in there...

get off that stuff. You know what it feels like to be happy without the pills, so why do you keep taking them? I KNOW depression is a complicated issue, and it takes time to heal, but you have to realize that taking a pill is only treating the symptom. Start doing the things that make you happy, get rid of the BS in your life, start getting more organized, etc.

I have personally gone through something very similar. All you want to do is get back to that time when things seemed like they were perfect. But guess what, you can't go back there. During that "good" time in your life, you weren't "trying" to be happy, you just went through life, doing the things you enjoy. Happiness is not a goal or achievement, it is a by-product.

I suggest you make the commitment to change your life around and force yourself to do things. My biggest piece of advice is to change your thinking. Stop identifying with the depression and acting like there is some magic fix. No one is coming with a life boat, you have to be the determiner of your life. Make subtle mindset changes, focus on important things (school, running, fun, friends, girls, etc) and your happiness will follow. These things take time, but I can promise you will have a good day and then these types of days slowly accumulate. Put your self in a situation to succeed everyday and control what you can.

So many people go through things like this, and it is CONQUERABLE! In a few months you will look back on this and realize how silly you were thinking/living. Keep fighting, you will beat this!