in-law horror stories

.maybe try this wrote:

Try this. Call them and ask if you can come over that you have something serious to discuss with them and that you'll be coming by yourself. Then when you get there, tell them you are sorry to bother them but your wife has a major medical issue. Then make up some bs story. But here is the key. When you're done look at them and say ok, thank you. I just wanted to make sure you could listen when I talk. I know you feel bad about your daughter but that's how I feel for myself every time you ignore me. You're better than this. None of this story is true but it was to make a point. Thank you and good by.

^this

Lonely and Dreaming of the West Coast wrote:

My in-laws voted for Trump. Enough said.

Sounds like awesome in-laws.

zatopek wrote:

Does anyone want to share their experiences?

My mother-in-law from day one has generally ignored me. When I first met her I tried to introduce myself three times, each time she looked away. Eventually my father-in-law just told me to stop trying.

I have been married to their daughter for about 10 years and we have never had a real conversation. They have never asked me a question beyond, "How are you"

Of course I am sure there are worse stories but this level of engagement with people I have known for over 10 years somehow drives me crazy.

Sure, have some sister in laws don't even talk to their father. One is a SJW. Talks non-stop about politics. We have to make four separate visits to visit family during holidays because these people don't get along. Nightmare. Are the holidays over yet?

My in-laws have their good points and bad points, but they believe in supporting education, health care, housing, jobs and women's rights, to name a few. Good on them for that.

Also, they are not xenophobic racists.

They are hardworking people who have made very good in life, and they understand we are all in this together.

zatopek wrote:

Yes, you are correct. She is very socially awkward. Ironically they are both ministers. Unfortunately because of over 15 years of this relationship it is difficult for me to enjoy or pretend to enjoy their company.

Got it, this sounds like it's much more about her than you and she would be like this with anyone your wife married. It still sucks but it's never going to change.

As for my father in law, he's 77, flat broke and has a house that is falling apart and right up there with the best hoarders. My wife never wants to talk about it.

It aggravates me at times because we have had to provide financial support for the last 10 years. I don't mind some of the financial support (eg paying his cellphone) but sometimes it really bothers me when we're paying for things that are a direct result of his poor decisions. For example, last year he signed up for a platinum Amex card unbeknownst to me and when it came time to pay the $450 annual fee we had to bail him out. I told my wife that we could only pay the fee under the condition that he cancel the card. God knows if he actually followed through with that.

My reasonably wealthy (two home/RV owning) in-laws issue a list of Christmas present demands sorry wish list each year.

Last year they actually wrote in their email “a voucher for a meal in X restaurant (but you can just give us the money next time you see us)”.

They like an expensive present each. This was for him. She wanted (and got) ultra expensive perfume.

We only generally see them around Christmastime. Their main aim in life, since retiring around twenty years ago, seems to be to somehow “equalize” things between us and their low paid/non working two other kids. So the other kids have got big payments toward their houses from them, whereas we’re punished for having professional jobs and saving money by doing things to the house ourselves.

They hate animals and going outdoors. We have animals and live rurally, so the one time they invited themselves to our new place, they refused to go outdoors their entire visit and He launched into a rant about how much he despised animals and thought they should all be killed the night before Christmas.

Their other children and their own children are all overweight and drive everywhere, yet one of them works as a nutritionist and likes to lecture us in healthy eating. Recently, her overweight husband got warned by his doctor to lose weight and went out sort of running a couple of times before he gave up. We now have to listen to tales of “how competitive” he is and how we “better watch out” as he’ll be beating us soon. This is bad enough, but never once have either my husband’s mother or father come to watch him compete in all the years he’s been doing it.

His sister (married to “Mr Competitive” above) likes to consider herself a community minded sort of person and helps out at our local 5k, where somehow my time ended up being recorded 45seconds slower than it ought to have been.

Can't / couldn't relate to my in-laws. They were always kind and supportive of my wife. However, whatever I said was "wrong". This happened so often that soon I'd say nothing at family get-togethers. And then I'd get into more trouble for saying nothing. The main problem between me and my in-laws was cultural. They came over to Canada after WW2 with nothing, and both worked hard to provide a comfortable existence for their family. But since English was a second language to them, they didn't "get" jokes or puns or a double entendre. They also thought Hitler did a bunch of good things for Germany and that the Nazis didn't kill 6 million Jews; it was just 3.5 million. I didn't receive even a hint of "congratulations" when I completed by doctoral studies. And once when my daughter brought up the fact that I had one of the top 10 times for a Canadian master's runner for the previous year at my indoor racing distance, my in-laws said: "Oh no, you mean just for Ontario". I politely said: "No, for all of Canada." They had "zero" background in any sports. They just had to keep putting me down.

When my wife and I got engaged, both sets of parents felt that their child was too good for the other. There was also a racial element involved. My mother-in-law to be didn't eat for two days after she found out, she was so distraught. Over time, though, things got better. A lot better. My father found out that my father-in-law outranked him in the Army and had won the silver star, while my father had only won the bronze star, and they were both attorneys. My mother-in-law was also very impressed with where I went to grad school. At the time, she was doing needlepoint and she decided to do one of the crest of our schools. She did the college that my wife and I attended first, then my grad school and only then my brother-in-law's school. We also produced the first grandchild on both sides of the family. The mother-in-laws then started calling each other to talk about how wonderful their granddaughter was. After my brother-in-law and his wife had a son, my mother-in-law actually denied to one of her friends that they had a child, while she was bragging about our daughter. Perhaps the high point was the time that my mother-in-law had me cook Thanksgiving dinner in her kitchen! She wouldn't even let her daughter do that! Somehow, I went from the white devil to her favorite child.

zatopek wrote:

Does anyone want to share their experiences?

My mother-in-law from day one has generally ignored me. When I first met her I tried to introduce myself three times, each time she looked away. Eventually my father-in-law just told me to stop trying.

I have been married to their daughter for about 10 years and we have never had a real conversation. They have never asked me a question beyond, "How are you"

Of course I am sure there are worse stories but this level of engagement with people I have known for over 10 years somehow drives me crazy.

smoked a J with my brother in law 20 minutes after meeting him. Years later, we're best of friends, and I still love his sister. Life's a trip.

My Father in law was cool...usually inebriated, but cool nonetheless.

My Mother in law...psychotic liar alcoholic. Probably bi-polar, definitely narcissistic personality disorder coupled with ADD. Lived by the old adage, "why tell the truth when a good lie is so much more fun?"

Unfortunately, my wife was raised as the Golden Child, so in their eyes, she was perfect; her husband (me), and the kids were to blame for anything and everything (even the weather - seriously). And...my wife fed straight into that behavior being acceptable. Probably one of the more passive-aggressive and manipulative people I've ever met. The queen of the backhanded compliment.

...and she could drink you under the table. All 90 pounds of her.

My in-laws were watching our house as my wife & I went on vacation. Father-in-law decided to take my garbage cans out on garbage day (didn't ask him to do it) and he tripped on uneven concrete and fell tearing a tendon in his ankle. No biggie - right? Wrong! The next week we got a letter from an attorney. I called my father-in-law and he explained he wasn't suing me (and his own daughter) he was suing our Insurance Company. Oh well, that's ok, right? Once I explained things to him, he said I didn't know what I was talking about (I had been in the insurance business for 25 years at that point). I suggested he call his attorney and ask. He did. The next day he called and said the suit was being dropped.

My in-laws are wonderful and great to me. Treat me nice, make me special food, come over and help me fix things, incredibly hospitable and will do anything for me, their daughter, or their grandkids. Super high energy grandparents who turn babysitting into "camp Grandma".

Am I doing this right?

My in-laws never visit their grandchildren. It is partly an old fashioned thing where the adult children are expected to visit the parents. But they know that rule is dated and I have very little vacation time to spend sitting around their house telling my kids not to touch anything. The real reason they do not visit (or take vacations) is that my mother in law spent thousands playing farmville. When she got cut off, she ended up spending even more every month on quilting supplies. But my father in law didn't help. He has a full Navy officer pension (commander). He had a double salary from private sector work for about 20 years after retiring from the Navy. They bought land in the PNW in the 80s for the current price of a 1 bedroom 400 sq ft condo in Queen Anne. But he managed to blow tens of thousands trying to become a big deal in the vintage auto world. The losses were so bad that they had to take out a second mortgage. Not to be deterred, when he finally gave up on the vintage cars, he started collecting model trains and now spends a few thousand a year on model trains.

Then, when we do burn our vacation time to go visit them, we cannot stay at their house because their Coydog (yes, half coyote half australian shepherd) cannot be trusted around children (he bit a nephew and broke the skin). And they won't send it to be boarded because he runs away when he comes home (don't ask). So, we have to stay at hotels, rent a car and drive about 40 min to see them (they are off in the boonies). When we are visiting, which is pretty rare, they will not change their schedule even though they are retired. My mother in law skipped a trip to the zoo because she had already committed to an event with her quilting group. And we had to pay a few hundred bucks to change flights when my father in law had a vintage car show that he wanted to attend.

OP, that's your horror story? You don't have to interact with your MIL? That sounds great!!

At least you don't have to support them financially and have them move in cause they're irresponsible and spend wrecklessly, that is pretty common.

Sounds like the side effect of a latent sexual yearning from your mother-in-law. She probably hasn't been getting any from your father-in-law since long before you appeared on the scene and has subsequently guiltily transferred all her desires on to you.

My suggestion would be to seek out some "alone time" with this poor suppressed beast over the holiday period and give her the time of her life. The whole family will thank you for it in the long term.

Mine are Trump supporters - and not the kind who just voted for him because he was running as a Republican. Every time I’m over there, I hear something about the mainstream media, Hillary being a criminal, somebody taking away the guns (they don’t even own guns or go hunting) or Obama ruining the country. My FIL has Dinesh D’Souza books. My wife and I have started needling them more about Trump and our daughter told her grandmother that he’s on the naughty list.

My wife was born out of wedlock to a woman in her teens. So, now my mother in law is only 16 years older than my wife. My wife is 35. My mother in law is hot! She works out, does yoga, etc. wears tight fitting clothes, shows off her cleavage (new surgery makes them look great!)

Last year, mother in law got a little tipsy at Thanksgiving at our house, and I was asked to drive her home. She unzipped me on the way home and gave me a fantastic bj while I drove.

Is this a great country or what?

Liberal Larry wrote:

Mine are Trump supporters - and not the kind who just voted for him because he was running as a Republican. Every time I’m over there, I hear something about the mainstream media, Hillary being a criminal, somebody taking away the guns (they don’t even own guns or go hunting) or Obama ruining the country. My FIL has Dinesh D’Souza books. My wife and I have started needling them more about Trump and our daughter told her grandmother that he’s on the naughty list.

I get this all the time too, plus the phrase "marxist muslim" is spoken a lot in reference to Obama, or Hussein as he is often called as well.

tristate wrote:

My wife was born out of wedlock to a woman in her teens. So, now my mother in law is only 16 years older than my wife. My wife is 35. My mother in law is hot! She works out, does yoga, etc. wears tight fitting clothes, shows off her cleavage (new surgery makes them look great!)

Last year, mother in law got a little tipsy at Thanksgiving at our house, and I was asked to drive her home. She unzipped me on the way home and gave me a fantastic bj while I drove.

Is this a great country or what?

Holy fluck Batman - You got sexually violated by an old granny and now have to mentally justify that as something great ?

Now THAT'S an in-law horror story!