When did men start hugging men?

Precious Roy wrote:

The current male hugging trend is really more of a tough guy thing. Every time I have had to endure a male hug, it has been from a guy who is pretty jacked. It isn't really a "hug" the way you give your kids a hug. It is more like "hey, check out how I can wrap you up in my jacked up arms and give my delts a good slap so you know that I am bigger than you are."

Interesting that a guy can now hug a guy, but if he hugs a woman he risks being charged , 30 years later, with groping, or worse by some femi-nazi.

Flagpole wrote:

Jimmy Fallon practically puts on the clothes of his male guests, he hugs them so much.

This cracked me up.

Gravy wrote:

January 20, 1993. Shocked that you don't know this.

This too.

The rest of you, the "Oh the homophobia! Oh the racism!" posters need to go in search of examples of real societal ills. Seriously, folks.

KudzuRunner wrote:

And no, Flagpole, your initial post wasn't racist. I've called this forum out many times for such things, but your surmise wasn't way off base. I remember being surprised by the hip hop hugging thing when it happened. It made regular old handshakes seem so old fashioned. And it made white guys who did the slap-me-five thing, which was a straight-up copy of black guys, seem SO old-fashioned.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ItVPwTN5cEo

Kay and Peele skewer the black/white hug/handshake divide:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nopWOC4SRm4

This and your other comment is what I was looking for. I appreciate the thoughtful responses. Thanks.

As a side note, I suppose you do have to be of a certain age to have witnessed the evolution fully which is why many posters here don't quite get it. I am of that age. I often think I'm not so old, especially when looking at my HUGE biceps, but I guess I do have to realize I am over 50.

Ghost of Igloi wrote:

This one just for you Flagpole:

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Qeua7PPg9v4

Tag line for that should be:

"Johnson's Pharmacy. Get what you need from soap to antibiotics."

messi wrote:

Flag, you do concede that homosexuality is an abomination though, right?

I mean, you will allow us that, right?

Absolutely not.

Started with the popularity of mobster shows (such as the Sopranos). You too can now hug another man just like Tony did ... without seeming like a fancy boy. You can even start the hug with a normal handshake and then hug with the left arms. The right hands clasped together during the 'hug' keep the torsos from touching (gasp!) during the hug. A hearty backslap with the left hand completes the manly, mobster hug. Hug it out, bros.

Flagpole, gay guy here, late 30s. I also noticed this becoming a lot more common (I'd say around Y2k I noticed it, or just after) and being surprised.

I grew up in a very non-hugging family. Pretty soon, yeah, the hug became the norm. Just the other day, I ran into my straight ex boss and he gave me a huge hug. The handshake seems limited to formal business meetings or introductions.

I do know that in Europe, it is a very huggy and kiss-cheeky culture, even straight man to straight man. Maybe it's trickled over more? I was once criticized for not standing up and giving a cheek kiss until someone explained I am from the US.

wtfbbq wrote:

Flagpole, gay guy here, late 30s. I also noticed this becoming a lot more common (I'd say around Y2k I noticed it, or just after) and being surprised.

I grew up in a very non-hugging family. Pretty soon, yeah, the hug became the norm. Just the other day, I ran into my straight ex boss and he gave me a huge hug. The handshake seems limited to formal business meetings or introductions.

I do know that in Europe, it is a very huggy and kiss-cheeky culture, even straight man to straight man. Maybe it's trickled over more? I was once criticized for not standing up and giving a cheek kiss until someone explained I am from the US.

Appreciate your view on this. Thanks.

EuroTrash Too many of you wrote:

It's the scum guys from Europe (what a lousy continent!!) that do the double cheek kissing that really irritate me.

We usually do four kisses around here but numbers vary from 2 to 4.

Also, turkish male friends often walk arms in arms in the street.

Will this become the new "real man" meme?

8/10

Flagpole wrote:

You don't know anyone more liberal than me. No sexism here or racism ever.

Confirmation that Flagpole = Trump.

Who's insecure? wrote:

We usually do four kisses around here but numbers vary from 2 to 4.

Also, turkish male friends often walk arms in arms in the street.

Yeah, when I’ve visited the Middle East and India in the pas, I was always surprised how affectionate straight men are with each other in their friendships. Ironically (am I using that word right here?) they are the extreme opposite in their straight relationships, there is barely any, if any, physical contact.

Also, for what it’s worth, I do not think it is racist to acknowledge that black men are regarded as the purveyors of masculinity in the US. Whenever a white kid wants to appear ‘tough’ or ‘hard’ he adopts black mannerisms, black music, African American Vernacular English, etc.

It isn’t racist to acknowledge that this takes place.

It IS racist to place this stereotype onto a group of people. This then feeds into the stereotype that they are aggressive and a threat to society.

Men shake hands with each other.

moist wrote:

Flagpole wrote:

You don't know anyone more liberal than me. No sexism here or racism ever.

Confirmation that Flagpole = Trump.

LMAO ???

It does sound like something trump would say. I read it a second time in his voice.

Wonder about this myself. A friend from Europe said it's normal there and found the American discomfort with it puzzling. I'm not a puppy anymore and find "casual" intimate contact with strangers to be off putting.

Do you know what personal space is? wrote:

I'm not a puppy anymore and find "casual" intimate contact with strangers to be off putting.

That's probably because you are a man

John Utah wrote:

That's probably because you are a man

This makes no sense. It isn't the norm for men to find physical contact off-putting; quite a lot of countries are huggers or cheek-kissers.

American men are so scared of everything it's hilarious.

John Utah wrote:

Men shake hands with each other.

REAL men don't shake hands. They lock eyes, nod, then turn and walk off silently in opposite directions.