Why Do Men Age Better?

22 is super young. When you’re still at that age, and still in a school setting, your friends’ opinions still matter A LOT. You still want to feel accepted by your peers. Dating a man who is 9 years older may still be abnormal at that age.

When you’re out of college, say 26 years old, you may be more open to dating a 35 year old.

Anything more than 10 years difference and you may get stares. More so if it’s interracial and the guy is of a race that ages faster than the other race (it’s true some races age better). I knew a very pretty girl at Berkeley (maybe 27) who had a baby with a professor (looks like 42 at least, had some graying hair). She got looks at every restaurant she went to. She said it was super uncomfortable for her. They eventually were divorced but I’m not sure if the age gap was the reason.

If a man was dating a much younger lady, his friends would pretty much pat him on the back.

If a woman was dating a much older man (more than 15 years), she bears the brunt of societal stigmatization. Friends and family will wonder why. Judgment from other women suck especially.

If you love the woman, you’ll care about how hurting the judgment could be from outsiders. A LOT of people will assume she’s a gold digger and that’s not a good rep to have. But if she’s just arm candy and temporary, who cares how she feels?

PS. First-hand experience

Let me remind you wrote:

22 is super young. When you’re still at that age, and still in a school setting, your friends’ opinions still matter A LOT. You still want to feel accepted by your peers. Dating a man who is 9 years older may still be abnormal at that age.

22 is young, and I assumed college setting. I said I had to two friends female who dated men in their young and late thirties (the girls were in college, one was 19 and the other was 21). The guy dated a women in her early fifties.

Yes, they would get looks and glances from people.

My point though, is that sure we thought it was a little different and unique..but we never ostracized either of them (or the dude). As described, we would tease them occasionally about it in a lighthearted way, but we certainly weren't judging or making them feel self-conscious. We blatantly supported it.

If you have a friend group that ostracizes you as a 20 year old for dating a 30 year old or even 35 year old (barring them thinking it's not a healthy relationship) that's a pretty cancerous friend group that you should probably get away from.

Who cares about women? wrote:

If a man was dating a much younger lady, his friends would pretty much pat him on the back.

If a woman was dating a much older man (more than 15 years), she bears the brunt of societal stigmatization. Friends and family will wonder why. Judgment from other women suck especially.

If you love the woman, you’ll care about how hurting the judgment could be from outsiders. A LOT of people will assume she’s a gold digger and that’s not a good rep to have. But if she’s just arm candy and temporary, who cares how she feels?

PS. First-hand experience

Was that rhetorical or serious? Even if you're into ONS and hookups, I still think you should care 100% how the other person feels.

Yes, what you describe definitely happens, especially the implicit gold digger assumption. Bit of a different world now though where the sugar daddy arrangement is common and largely accepted (always some puritanical types, but amongst the millennial and younger crowd not too many object). It's far less negative or stigmatized than it used to be. No getting away from the fact that stares will still be a common occurrence, as well as questions at various functions.

Friends and family shouldn't be a major problem though, if they are...those aren't good friends or good family members you want in your life.

"Societal stigmatization?"

Our entire young adult society is the most superficial it has ever been. It's a sheetfest! Hookups, filters, sugar daddies and sugar babies - does it matter, then, that someone is dating someone with a 10 year difference?

Who cares?

Only the people who have nothing better to obsess over and gossip about.

It doesn't make you a better person. Besides, we still have arranged marriages. And men used to marry teenage girls. It's weird like that.

In the 90s (or so my perception of it) - college guys would date high school girls.

I am livid with the hypocrisy.

and I thought the thread was about running performance!

Tanning. Women, especially white women, ruin their looks long term by being obsessive about burning their skin when they’re young. Men don’t care about tanning as much.

Gender Studies wrote:

Easier to maintain testosterone than estrogen?

Discus

yes

mancoach wrote:

The answer is hormones. Men and women share the same hormones in different amounts. For women the hormones that affect skin looks (collagen and elastin) really start to decline between ages 40 and 50. For men it is between ages 55 and 60.

There are also social-economic factors as well as many individual outliers, but will all things equal, it is hormones.

Side note: "25yo female" is either a dude or just incredibly naive. Not all older men are fat and nasty. Maybe try leaving Alabama. I have plenty of clients in their 40s who date women in their 20s and the friends of the women are more likely to want to meet the man's friends than they are to make fun.

Read people. There is a little more to it, but this guy is basically right.

The reason is purely evolutionary / biological. Women have a narrow window of fertility and tend to be the most fit to bear and raise offspring earlier in life. What makes women attractive to men, usually, is their ability to produce healthy offspring. What makes men attractive to women is usually the ability to provide security, stability and protection, which increases with age.

It's amazing to see anonymous surveys in dating preferences - nearly all men would prefer to bang 18 year old women for life. Women tend to desire men at their age or older.

Whatever the reason, women should remember that their window for peak attractiveness / marriage / reproduction is comparitvely short, and should act accordingly. This is the truth.

37? Where did you come up with that number? I'm male in my mid-50's and now settled. At 37, I was a bachelor dating many younger women - youngest was 20 - with no problems from either side on age difference. I wasn't rich and I'm decent looking, but no Harrison Ford. At 40, I ran Boston and still had lots of hair - still do.

Your analysis is silly.

You have, at best, 10 years to snag the man of your dreams. It's lights out for women after 35, unless you are a movie star. Men will ignore you after that age. Invisibility can be an asset.

Gender Studies wrote:

Easier to maintain testosterone than estrogen?

Discus

You're confusing gender with sex.

Uh lord wrote:

Gender Studies wrote:

Easier to maintain testosterone than estrogen?

Discus

You're confusing gender with sex.

I had gender with your mom.