Why Do Men Age Better?

I think the stigma kicks in somewhere over 10 years difference (e.g. she's say at age 25 she wouldn't consider a 39 year old). The average is something like 2-4 years difference I think. Considering a lot are the same age (like if you met the same year of education) and in a small number the man is younger, anything up to 10 is normal.

I think a social stigma would probably arise more if he looks his age (especially so if he isn't even particularly attractive for the age he looks!)

I NEVER said a 30yo man would be interested in me when I’m 40. They’ll be cute to look at, but at least I’m not living in a dream, I KNOW they’ll go for younger girls.

Still. Men above 35 are nasty to me at this point. I had a gf who dated a 31yo when she was 22, sure, only 9 years difference but she got totally ostracized from our entire group of friends in college. We still make fun of her till today for dating that guy who was 9 years older than her. Tell me about social stigma again??

The premise is just false.

Homer Simpson is the emblem of the “average” middle age Americans man.

Here are the real questions:

1) Why do fat, wrinkled, flatulent men believe they are “aging well”?

Answer- Narcissism

2) Why do young attractive women sometimes go for narcissistic, fat, wrinkled, flatulent older men?

Answer- a) Money, b) Emotional problems, c) Don’t care about looks

25yo female wrote:

I NEVER said a 30yo man would be interested in me when I’m 40. They’ll be cute to look at, but at least I’m not living in a dream, I KNOW they’ll go for younger girls.

Still. Men above 35 are nasty to me at this point. I had a gf who dated a 31yo when she was 22, sure, only 9 years difference but she got totally ostracized from our entire group of friends in college. We still make fun of her till today for dating that guy who was 9 years older than her. Tell me about social stigma again??

Women being bitches is not an example of social stigma.

I don’t know why you get ahead of yourself. Do you assume my entire group of friends in college consists only of females ?? I have both male and female friends, and EVERYBODY made fun of THAT GIRL who dated the man who was 9 years older. TRUE STORY. Try to put yourself in the shoes of a 22yo college student, male or female.

Now what was the male equivalent of the word “B*tches”? You’re calling my male friends “b*tches” too?

The answer is hormones. Men and women share the same hormones in different amounts. For women the hormones that affect skin looks (collagen and elastin) really start to decline between ages 40 and 50. For men it is between ages 55 and 60.

There are also social-economic factors as well as many individual outliers, but will all things equal, it is hormones.

Side note: "25yo female" is either a dude or just incredibly naive. Not all older men are fat and nasty. Maybe try leaving Alabama. I have plenty of clients in their 40s who date women in their 20s and the friends of the women are more likely to want to meet the man's friends than they are to make fun.

25yo female wrote:

I don’t know why you get ahead of yourself. Do you assume my entire group of friends in college consists only of females ?? I have both male and female friends, and EVERYBODY made fun of THAT GIRL who dated the man who was 9 years older. TRUE STORY. Try to put yourself in the shoes of a 22yo college student, male or female.

Now what was the male equivalent of the word “B*tches”? You’re calling my male friends “b*tches” too?

Um, yeah.

Both parties were jealous.

25yo female wrote:

I don’t know why you get ahead of yourself. Do you assume my entire group of friends in college consists only of females ?? I have both male and female friends, and EVERYBODY made fun of THAT GIRL who dated the man who was 9 years older. TRUE STORY. Try to put yourself in the shoes of a 22yo college student, male or female.

Now what was the male equivalent of the word “B*tches”? You’re calling my male friends “b*tches” too?

Was that ostracising or teasing? It sounds more like teasing.

Also is there more to the story? Did he look like he might be late 20s or late 30s/early 40s? I knew someone who was about 35 and had a 25 year old girlfriend. He told me once someone thought he was her dad!

Gender Studies wrote:

Easier to maintain testosterone than estrogen?

Discus

As Redd Foxx, the legendary comedian and star of Sanford and Son once remarked, "there is nothing uglier than an old white woman."

Catskills guy wrote:

Gender Studies wrote:

Easier to maintain testosterone than estrogen?

Discus

As Redd Foxx, the legendary comedian and star of Sanford and Son once remarked, "there is nothing uglier than an old white woman."

save an old white, lecherous man

Things I have noticed:

1) Age of Father - If you're older than the girl, and you're in the neighborhood of her fathers age....forget it. Never happening.

Ever. Don't waste your time. Not rational really, but it's how women think. Same applies if you're younger and going for cougar types. If she has kids near your age she will not be interested. Ever.

2) I'm getting close to 30, so almost at the point where I can be "old" to some women. Their are some girls that are VERY repulsed at the idea of dating an older guy "the ewww wtf you doing messaging/talking to me your 29 and I'm 20 types".

There is another group, feels like 25% maybe, that are very much into the idea of an older guy. They respond enthusiastically when they learn of your age or you message them online.

The last group, the majority, are generally ambivalent.

3) From what I have read and heard, large age gaps, like 25+ for an older guy/younger woman, you're going to have to play sugar daddy game. You're just not going to be attractive enough to them, even if you aged that Tom Cruise or George Clooney. If you let yourself go at all. It's over.

25yo female wrote:

I NEVER said a 30yo man would be interested in me when I’m 40. They’ll be cute to look at, but at least I’m not living in a dream, I KNOW they’ll go for younger girls.

Still. Men above 35 are nasty to me at this point. I had a gf who dated a 31yo when she was 22, sure, only 9 years difference but she got totally ostracized from our entire group of friends in college. We still make fun of her till today for dating that guy who was 9 years older than her. Tell me about social stigma again??

I think what you're trying to say is that "the idea of dating a man more than 10 years older than you is nasty". You fall into camp A, the type that are very opposed to dating older guys. There are guys between 35-40 that are VERY attractive in every sense of the word, and I'm sure if you saw them and didn't know their age you would be attracted. You would only become unattractive on learning their age.

Nothing wrong with that. You like what you like.

It is odd that your whole group did that though. I have dated plenty of women close to or 10 years younger than me, and they rarely get stigmatized by their friends. They do say their friends tease them a little, but in a "OMG what are you doing you crazy girl :)" kinda way. They always express that some of their friends are very interested in the idea and want to hear more about me.

Unregisterable wrote:

25yo female wrote:

I don’t know why you get ahead of yourself. Do you assume my entire group of friends in college consists only of females ?? I have both male and female friends, and EVERYBODY made fun of THAT GIRL who dated the man who was 9 years older. TRUE STORY. Try to put yourself in the shoes of a 22yo college student, male or female.

Now what was the male equivalent of the word “B*tches”? You’re calling my male friends “b*tches” too?

Was that ostracising or teasing? It sounds more like teasing.

Also is there more to the story? Did he look like he might be late 20s or late 30s/early 40s? I knew someone who was about 35 and had a 25 year old girlfriend. He told me once someone thought he was her dad!

This is a REALLY good point.

If he was some dude that clearly didn't look good at looked his age or worse...I totally could see that from your friend group. It looks extreme, and at that point you just know everyone is thinking $$$ or some very latent daddy issues.

But...if we are talking about a guy in his early 40s that has taken care of himself he probably looks 5 years younger, fit, and healthy. If you're group ostracized her for this...that's a very unusual group. None of my friends, nor myself, ever did that in college. And a few of my female friends, and one of my guy friends dated people much older than than them. The guy actually dated someone who was in her 50s, the girls a guy in his early thirties and another in his late 30s. Yea, we teased them a little about "robbing the grave" and dating "some rich old hottie" but we didn't think it was weird nor did we really care.

Be Real wrote:

Come on, I’ll be hard pressed to find a 50 year old anybody. The golden age for men is 23-30 in terms of physical appearance. Everything is downhill after 30.

Fixed. Guys skin absolutely starts to decline in his late 20s, sometimes earlier if he is unlucky and doesn't take care of himself. Guys get other advantages from building careers and success as they age, but from a physical perspective you're kidding yourself if you think some dude looks better at 35 than he did at 23.

Be Real wrote:

Be Real wrote:

Come on, I’ll be hard pressed to find a 50 year old anybody.

Correction: an attractive 50 year old anybody. That’s extremely rare, male OR female.

If you're white, it's rare. Melanin don't crack at 50.

Women stress themselves out more being petty and worrying about bulls**t. My girlfriends still brings up things I did 4 years ago and gets mad at me about it. I don't even remember why I was mad about something 4 days ago. Women need to relax more. Most things aren't that serious.

Dolly do better wrote:

On My Way Home From An All-Nighter wrote:

Even the middle-aged, unattractive, overweight, saggy women? ?

That's who I was talking about.

You're kidding, right?

Are you sure? wrote:

Dolly do better wrote:

That's who I was talking about.

You're kidding, right?

No. He's not. I've been out with unattractive female friends or seen them swiping on dating websites. They can be VERY picky sometimes. At young ages it usually works well too, because we all know how horny young guys are.

With these older women that are particular, they are usually older ones that used to be decent looking or even good looking but kinda let themselves go. They haven't realized they aren't attractive to men like they were in their prime. One of my mom's friends is this way. Early 50s, decently overweight, is constantly frustrated that no "quality" guys seem to have interest in her and she only gets "fat guys with no hair".

Because men are better at everything, duh