Have you ever re-attracted a woman after she initially lost interest in you?

30 years later ...

Planets aligned or something.

GETTER BACKER wrote:

Have you ever dated a woman, had her lose interest, and then re-attract her at a later date? What was the time frame and what did you do differently?

Yes. But I don't think we ever lost attraction, per se. Summer romance that last about 5 months. Split for about 3 months, yet maintained friendship, then over the last five months we've continued to depend more and more on each other.

Actually many of the more solid couples I know first dated, separated for awhile to sort out true feelings, and then got back together for good.

Got dumped by a girl towards the end of college. (She flaked at the prospect of getting serious post-graduation.)

She tried to get back together a year later and said she regretted breaking up. I said no, cuz I was still pissed.

Six years later, we wound up in the same place, met up for dinner, yada yada yada, now we live together.

What I did differently: gained 30 pounds, became slightly more of an adult.

GETTER BACKER wrote:

Have you ever dated a woman, had her lose interest, and then re-attract her at a later date? What was the time frame and what did you do differently?

I wouldn't hold your breath bud...

Yeah. Years ago in Buffalo.

Truckkk wrote:

30 years later ...

Planets aligned or something.

So, you're telling me there's a chance?

I pray she comes back, using your equation I just have to wait another 25 years for her to comeback.

It's time to move on my friend.

Rorg Aut Nuthelwimp wrote:

Got dumped by a girl towards the end of college. (She flaked at the prospect of getting serious post-graduation.)

She tried to get back together a year later and said she regretted breaking up. I said no, cuz I was still pissed.

Six years later, we wound up in the same place, met up for dinner, yada yada yada, now we live together.

What I did differently: gained 30 pounds, became slightly more of an adult.

I bet she put on 60.

I found a new profession and significantly increased the size of my wallet. I also clicked on one of the male enhancement ads and increased another size. It works!

She's happy, I'm happy. It's all good, man.

Oh my Gaaaaahhhhhd.

I will wait until my late thirties to get back someone who I briefly dated. I just know it in my heart of hearts that we’ll be together.

?

I was a former creep.

Rorg Aut Nuthelwimp wrote:

Got dumped by a girl towards the end of college. (She flaked at the prospect of getting serious post-graduation.)

She tried to get back together a year later and said she regretted breaking up. I said no, cuz I was still pissed.

Six years later, we wound up in the same place, met up for dinner, yada yada yada, now we live together.

What I did differently: gained 30 pounds, became slightly more of an adult.

Sounds like she wasn't actually over you if she wanted to get back together a year later. She sounds like she just didn't know what she wanted.

Know a guy who remarried his ex wife a decade later. Still married now.

Some women have to always be in a relationship.

One likely scenario: she Thought she could do better than you with the new guy in town, then he dumped her, so she is one of those, and boom you're it...for now anyway.

I can't recall a woman ever losing interest in me.

Just kidding. But seriously, as the guy above said, this doesn't happen the way you describe. It may happen over a longer time frame if YOU also move on, but you can't just get her back right away. For instance, in college I dated a woman a couple years ahead of me who was graduating shortly. She broke up with me because she "didn't want to be tied down" at the end of school as she was about to move across the country. (Yes, I consider that losing interest, because nobody who is really interested would have an excuse like that.) Couple years later we were in the same city and we had another fling (which I ended that time).

It's far more common to happen in reverse. I've known countless men who have broken up with a girl only to decide later that they'd made a mistake. Many of them are happily married to those women now. By contrast, when I've seen women get back together with guys they previously dumped, the relationships seem to be less stable over the long term.

by "lost interest".

As another poster said up-thread, sometimes circumstances are more key than feelings when it comes to going your separate ways. Especially when you're young and she may be worried about education, getting a career off the ground etc. Even though there's this myth that women always prioritize romance, sometimes those other things really do come first. If your paths cross again in the future and the right circumstances are in place, the relationship might work.

On the other hand, here are some times when it's less likely--

She never felt a strong spark to begin with and maybe met someone else she clicked with more and in a more long term way.

She realized you had major differences in terms of character and values and that it was never going to work.

She realized you were disordered in some way--abusive, overly needy, emotionally unavailable or whatever, and were unlikely to change/seek help and she doesn't want a second helping. Not implying anything about you personally here, of course.

GETTER BACKER wrote:

Have you ever dated a woman, had her lose interest, and then re-attract her at a later date? What was the time frame and what did you do differently?

We deal with two matters here, the states of attraction and the states of being. We must have both in excellence. I came to summon the flock and restore humanity. I left behind the 99 sheep for the one. Few are or will ever be restored in the lifetime. But I hold one specific restoration, of the 100, in particular esteem. He/she who understands my words and methods and attends to the Great Marriage and the Resurrection will be truly great and accomplished in all things. I put out the bridge equally before all, I told all of you plainly. They are blind, however, about their accomplishments, about the natures of accomplishments, about discernation, about excellence and ascensions and true pecking orders. I most of all preached to the best of you, the leaders and foremost among you.

I've never even been able to attract a woman regardless, so moot.

Not exactly your question, but I did attract a woman after she wasn't interested in me for quite a while. Living in NYC after college, there was this girl who had some mutual friends with me and we'd hang out in a group from time to time. She was friendly enough but definitely not interested in me, although I was quite attracted to her and I'm sure she knew it.

I had put on a little weight after college (basically a "normal" looking guy, not fat but not fit) and looked that way for the first couple years I knew her. I'm fairly attractive but I guess my body wasn't exactly flattering then.

Anyway, eventually I started getting really serious about getting fit and over 6 months lost some weight but also got a lot more muscular (put 80 pounds on my bench max, 125 on deadlift, very defined abs)...I had also started paying a little better attention to my hair and other grooming habits and would say by this time I was looking pretty darn good! Well May rolls around and we're at a Memorial Day swim party at a rooftop pool and for the first time this girl actually seems to be taking an interest in me (I'd seen her a good 15+ times before, chatted on FB messenger a bit too). We start being a little flirtatious in the pool, and then I decide I'm gonna go down to get some more beers from my friend's kitchen and I ask her if she wants to come down with me. I won't go into the details of what happened in my friend's living room, but let's just say I guess a couple years later she ended up finally being attracted to me!

To the OP, when a woman does the "just friends" thing but wants you hanging around, nothing gets their interest back faster than you being around other women especially if you insist they are "just friends".