Reed Fischer Appreciation Thread

Another rumor has it that he keeps the orgasmic liquid of his wide array of sexual partners in jars. He bathes in these liquids, their scent helping give him the power to compete on a national level. He uses orgasms to increase his running performance. He does with orgasms!

*dopes, not does, that should say

Reed is a nice normal guy. I know that none of you have met him.

Nobody has said he isn't nice; he truly wants what is best for others...he just goes about showing it in subtle, sometimes harsh ways. However, he is far from "normal". He is the most remarkable man any of us have ever met, and the mystery surrounding his powers and origins will make him a legend throughout the test of time.

I do not believe Frank Shorter's high school two mile PB was sub-9:41 (or anywhere close while in h.s.).

I'm truly shocked this thread, or the majority of posts, haven't been deleted yet. It's refreshing. This seriously is some of the funniest stuff I've read on LetsRun. Maybe the Johnson brothers have a sense of humor after all? Long live the legend of Reed Fischer!

F Shorter wrote:

I do not believe Frank Shorter's high school two mile PB was sub-9:41 (or anywhere close while in h.s.).

What is the slowest high schooler to go on to break 2:13 for the marathon?

Also, Reed Fisher is actually Jim Morrison. He faked his death. And, has been in hiding since than. Recently for the last decade he has been experimenting with stem cell. Which has gave him a youthful look for someone who is in his 70s. Now he is focused on his true passion, not music; but running.

Reed Fischer is whoever he chooses to be in that moment. He is everyone and no one. You have a lot to learn, Sand Dunes. You dork.

The only thing harder than a diamond is Reed Fischer’s erect member. I witnessed this first hand when he etched “Reed Fischer was here,” into my fiancé’s engagement ring.

Bump. This thread is epic and needs to never die.

How could this thread ever die when Reed himself is immortal?

He reminded me once of a great Abraham Lincoln quote. "He who gets what he wants taketh it."

He then ran up to an elderly woman, snatched her purse, and yelled back at her "I'll see you later....in the bedroom!"

The woman then rose to her feet and raced Reed back home.

Reed Fisher was the ghost writer behind Lou Reed music.

https://youtu.be/oG6fayQBm9w

In all seriousness, I think that we need to focus on what's really impressive about Reed's performance. The guy was 9:20 guy in high school, worked for everything he has, works a full time job, and supports at least 87 kids. The guy is ultra fertile, and has been with so many women that he has just stopped asking for paternity tests because he figures they're his kids. There is an entire preschool class where Reed fathered every child, and he's never missed a birthday. Ask him yourself, he runs for the children.

He would never entertain doing anything sexual with anyone underage. To even suggest such a thing, even jokingly, is despicable. Pedogate is real, and you, sir, are now on my list.

He may not be able to take care of his children financially, but he is there for each one of them from an emotional standpoint. He takes them to the zoo every other Wednesday, and he allows them to ask for one piece of advice, via email, each week.

It's obvious Reed's mythologist, is Reed himself. Someone who clearly doesn't get any sex so has to make so much out of it...in fantasy.

One post was funny. The rest have descended into the opposite of over the top, into trolling the depths of egoistic stupidity.

Time to move on. A one trick pony is just that.

"Get Real, Eh", I hate to break it to you, but you're THAT guy. Nobody likes you. You always have a negative comment to say when other people are having fun. You ruin the mood. You are the one who people talk about behind your back. "I hate that guy," or "What a douche," are the typical thoughts of those who know you. You're a pseudo-intellectual who vastly overestimates his intelligence and, being unfunny yourself, still find the need to suggest you have the true, inarguable, taste in humor. I think I speak for everyone else in this thread when I say get hit by a bus.

With that said, anyone remember that time Reed found out that his excrement is a natural aphrodisiac? When he was really drunk and pooped in bed next to his conquest and she got turned on to such an extent that he thought he might have bedded someone in need of an exorcism? Man, that was a fun night for everyone involved.

get real, eh wrote:

It's obvious Reed's mythologist, is Reed himself. Someone who clearly doesn't get any sex so has to make so much out of it...in fantasy.

One post was funny. The rest have descended into the opposite of over the top, into trolling the depths of egoistic stupidity.

Time to move on. A one trick pony is just that.

You're just one of Reed's many conquests, and frightfully unhappy to learn via LetsRun that there are so many others "out there" who shared the total satisfaction and stimulation of Reed's John Thomas (not to be confused with JT, the late Boston University high jump icon - WR in '59, 2 Olympic medals). Hah! And you thought you were the one and only! So ya gotta trash Reed on this forum? Sorry, girlfriend, the endorsement of many other lovers trumps your failed attempt at a put-down!

Let's get the post back on track folks.

Anecdotes and well-wishes first, and tales of wanton sexual depravity accompanied by staggeringly mediocre 400m splits after.