Besides retirement, is there anything to look forward to in middle and old age?

Ah, the old 33 going on 60 problem. Find something that rekindles and channels the passion you once had. (It's not always about competition, you know?) Put yourself out there and try anything and everything. You never know what might grab you. I'm 55 and loving life. Not competitive at all, but still have my passion for the outdoors - running, biking, backpacking, paddling, climbing. So much to look forward to ...

Born in 1985 wrote: So, is there anything exciting I can look forward to besides retirement? .

nostalgia.

cheers.

Death.

Grim and Bear it. wrote:

Death.

+1

This is life's great adventure.

ps. As an aside: Even though it doesn't solve your 'problem', it's good you are not interested in your friends' wives and kids.

Cottonshirt wrote:

Born in 1985 wrote: So, is there anything exciting I can look forward to besides retirement? .

nostalgia.

Nostalgia ain't what it used to be.

OP, I had a similar experience in my mid-30s. I noticed that about age 30, some of the people around me stopped growing. They just mentally and emotionally seemed to say, "I'm tired of learning and trying to keep up with the world. I'm going to stay just like this for the rest of my life." And they did. Or at least they did for as long as I knew them.

Don't be like those people. You can continue to grow and learn about things that interest you.

You can get so much smarter than you are today. I don't mean degrees. You just need to find something you're passionate about and follow it. I can't tell you what your passion will be. It's different for everyone. The sport that's closest to running in an adrenaline rush, for me anyway, is mountain biking.

Watch those “Most Interesting Man in the World” commercials. Try to become like that guy.

Read the book of Ecclesiastes (yes, from the Bible).

Don't just blow it off with an "I'm not religious" line. Seriously, an ancient Israeli king pretty much expressed the same sentiment you just did. See what he concludes.

P.S. Even secular scholars consider Ecclesiastes one of the greatest works of literature in the history of the world.

porn

Living in 'assisted living' and never having visitors? This is what your future may hold...jk

In all seriousness my personal observations are that people like yourself, who have a competitive streak,

need some sort of concrete goal to work towards or some challenge to meet. For many people after their

athletic careers, this involves climbing the ladder at work (which you don't have an interest in), raising kids (not for you),

charitable work (not sure if this for you), starting your own business or trolling letsrun (perhaps).

Otherwise, life becomes depressing as you see your peers moving forward in their life goals while you stagnate.

OP, If your life can’t get any better what the hell are you whining about?

In order to give you any real suggestions I need more info. Where (country, state/ province, city) do you live? What’s your social (friends, girlfriends / hook up partners) life like?

old man look at my life wrote:

Living in 'assisted living' and never having visitors? This is what your future may hold...jk

In all seriousness my personal observations are that people like yourself, who have a competitive streak,

need some sort of concrete goal to work towards or some challenge to meet. For many people after their

athletic careers, this involves climbing the ladder at work (which you don't have an interest in), raising kids (not for you),

charitable work (not sure if this for you), starting your own business or trolling letsrun (perhaps).

Otherwise, life becomes depressing as you see your peers moving forward in their life goals while you stagnate.

Well said. Let me add that you don't necessarily need to have the perfect defined goal in life, per se. You just need to keep looking for it. You might set a goal and on the journey to it, discover another goal that is even more meaningful to you. Just don't give up, like those 30-somethings I mentioned earlier.

I was in your shoes not that long ago, successful career, plenty of physical things to keep me "happy," a wife and kids, but my life was flat-out boring, and nothing seemed to interest me any longer. I found that when I started investing my time in others and their interests, I found a lot of joy in it and found a love for some of the things that interested them. That's how I learned to love trail running -- a buddy did it, and by being interested in his interests, I discovered something new and ended up finding new passion in life. I dunno, maybe give it a shot?

You have clearly been blessed with superior physical and intellectual skills - not being sarcastic.

Now - look at the world around you and determine how you can best contribute your skills to making the world a better place.

The child is grown

The dream is gone

I have become comfortably numb

Stir the EFing Pot !

Mid 50s here. Like a wealthy friend of mine, who could have anything he wants, go anywhere anytime, told me, you have to discover contentment. If you constantly look for new things to buy, new places to go, things to do, you will never be happy down the stretch because you will always be seeking the next high. Be happy you are healthy, have been to places, done things, don't have money problems. Most of us now put our energy into relationships with our spouse, our kids, etc. If you have no spouse and no children, not being critical here because it's not for everyone, but you are missing out on some of the greatest joys(and of course frustrations) in life. It's the people in our life that make it worth living, not the junk we accumulate. As you get older, others will be consumed with their own families and won't have time for those who are those friends who are alone. Not criticizing those who remain childless and/or single, but for many, that is how life stays worth living. It also doesn't hurt that we will have family to help us along in old age either.

Give it time. I remember when I was your age, and I went through a similar stretch. I arguably had me "mid-life crisis" a decade early, at around 31-32 and started making many life changes. The last vestiges of my youth were rapidly slipping away, and I was thinking similar thoughts as you, regarding many of the points you made about old friends, lack of passion, and so on.

However, I'm now 49 and I would say that the best decade of my life so far was my 40s, which was unexpected in many ways. Perhaps I spent much of my 30s (especially early 30s) fighting an internal struggle of realizing I'm not young anymore, and feeling a little depressed about it.

Having just turned 50 I will tell you that there really is not much to look forward to.

Sure there's grand kids but they are temporary and once they're 13 they want to do fun stuff with their friends, not hang with old folks.

If you've been smart there is the benefit of financial stability that comes with middle age, but there's also the realization that maybe you HAVEN'T done enough for retirement.

Health is a total crap shoot. Sure as runners we're mostly thin and fit, but the knees/hips/backs are a constant bother, and honestly being a runner is not some guarantee of living to 90. You better hope you have good genes.

Right now I can say I have a good life, I'm very stable financially, my job is secure, and a comfortable retirement is a reality.... I would gladly trade all that to be 25 again.

It's a good question to ask, and I felt a bit like that at a few years older than you are now. I kept going at competitive track - lived in England at the time, where there is a club league structure - until about 35/36, but like OP hit a point where you think you've had/done the best of everything you're going to have or do.

It's also something of a natural place to arrive - rather like Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs - once you've worked your way past physiological needs, safety needs, belongingess needs, and esteem needs, your next level of motivation is self-actualization (self-fulfillment), and achieving ones full potential. I would say, that last stage is what you are looking for.

I'm now 61. As far as running went, in my late 30s, by which time I'd moved to the US, I'd managed to stay competitive for local road races, and I ran for a club that was involved in an annual league. I kept going as a master, and have enjoyed the challenge of fighting the decline, and trying to run new age bests, and look forward to getting back to the bottom of the age group every five years. I miss having the potential to compete for the W, although I did manage to keep at that level in smaller local road races into my mid-50s. I've also competed in various national masters events, and placed a few times, which is a level I wouldn't have aspired to when I was younger.

On a work front, we're deploying new technology, particularly using AI and Deep Learning, and working in a way I would never have dreamed of 30 years ago. I would say I'm more effective in my work than I was 10 years ago. I'm involved in an international sport, and I still get up every morning eager to know what's happened around the world overnight.

So for me, the answer is that I'm still passionate about running (I'm still hoping I can improve in relative terms) and my work, and I think that as another poster said that's probably the key, something about which you feel passionate.

There is a little "tell" in what you wrote - "..is there anything exciting I can look forward to besides retirement?" That, at some level suggests that there are things that you might want to do in retirement that you're not doing now, or that you're having to do things now that you look forward to stopping. Reflecting about that for a while might help you find a way forward. If you're looking forward to stopping work, perhaps consider a career change, or at least a different career direction.