Get on the Keto diet & read Jordan Petersons "12 Rules for Life" - Your brain runs on a different track in Keto. Seriously give it a shot.
Get on the Keto diet & read Jordan Petersons "12 Rules for Life" - Your brain runs on a different track in Keto. Seriously give it a shot.
As kid I would go days without talking to people. In HS I tried to go as unnoticed as possible. I still don't know what to do with myself at parties, but I force myself to go to them on occasion anyway. For the most part I've learned to cope, but I still prefer not having to talk too much and I hate being the center of attention. Social Anxiety Disorder didn't exist when I was younger so I can't say if I ever had/have it. I'm not sure if naming it and medicating it would have done me much good. I have a friend with anxiety/depression who hasn't worked in three years because of it. He rarely leaves his house. He's also been heavily medicated all his life and smokes a fair amount of pot. I'd say if it's taking over your life then definitely seek help. Just be wary of being over-medicated. It seems like psychiatry today is just trial and error with different drugs and dosages till you get it "right". I'd say at least half the adults I know are on some sort of medication e.g. Adderall, Xanax, Ambien, etc... and the rest self medicate. And keep in mind that being a teen/young adult is a really difficult time for many people. Just keep hope alive, as it will get better.
Check out Scott Douglas's new book, Running Is My Therapy. It's both a first-person and a thoroughly researched book on a wide spectrum of mental issues from persistent low mood to much more serious anxiety and depression. It becomes widely available on April 17. (I got lucky, and received an advance copy.)
https://www.amazon.com/Running-My-Therapy-Relieve-Depression/dp/1615194444
We all have issues kiddo, things will work out keep running and enjoy the ride.
Mine got worse as I got older too. Though I was nervous, I didn't have significant problems giving speeches in high school or college. But as I've gotten older the physical symptoms (shortness of breath, voice quivering) have become a real problem, to the point where I feel like it held me back a little bit career-wise. And it's hard to hide it or just plough through it when the physical symptoms are so strong and seemingly obvious.
joho wrote:
public speaking wrote:
I guess public speaking is a form also. I experience the same symptoms that you described. My heart beats so hard that my voice is uncontrollably shaky. I can't even complete the speech most of the time.
This is me. The bad part is, it got worse as I got older.
Proud of LR after reading this thread. Hardly any snarky remarks at all.
How did you manage the physical symptoms? I'm genuinely interested. I think controlling the physical symptoms would make it easier to get through an nerve-wracking experience, which would then make it easier to do it the next time and possibly reduce the overall anxiety.
Speak from experience wrote:
Is your social anxiety worsened by the physical symptoms (shaky voice, sweaty armpits, forehead, etc.) like mine was? I always wanted to be outgoing/confident but as soon as the symptoms showed up it was a downward spiral (mentally getting nervous because I was starting to sweat, decreasing my confidence, voice starts to shake followed by shaky hands--eventually reaching a point of no return.) When I figured out how to manage the physical symptoms, life got much easier (perhaps go see your doctor about this).
Wow that was eye opening.
If you have social anxiety (or any form of debilitating anxiety really), the gold standard treatment is cognitive behavioral therapy consisting of exposure therapy. It basically involves teaching you to how to gradually confront your feared situations while refraining from using subtle avoidance behaviors (e.g. avoiding eye contact, speaking softly) that reinforce the idea that there is something to be seriously afraid of in social settings. It is tough work, but results tend to be quite good (it is highly researched and consistently is shown to be more effective than other treatments for anxiety). A lot of people wait for years before seeking help because they are embarrassed, think it's not actually that bad, or don't know what sort of help to get. I'd really encourage you to find a good CBT therapist and see what it can do for you. There are also pretty good CBT self-help books out there as well, though it takes a lot of motivation to follow through with the recommendations in there.
Best of luck, social anxiety is a b*tch
Agree on most things, Derp. No matter how drunk, anxious, sedated, etc. I have been, I have always had this rational voice in my head that looks at things rationally. I began having generalized anxiety and panic attacks which led to agoraphobia. Then my rational voice said "this ain't right, you need some help" and I went to visit a psychiatrist. It all worked out after about a year and a half of Zoloft. There's no shame in asking for help. My anxiety increased to the point where I would have to pump myself up to go to work or go to class, but I went outside only after looking through the peep hole in the apartment door. I would wait until there was no one in the hallway because it was terrifying to me that I might have to interact with a perfectly nice neighbor and say "hi". As for running/exercising it might help, or it might be another stress in your life which adds to your overall anxiety level. Psychiatry is a bit of trial and error. In my case, I started off taking Paxil. I went from being a 7 on the anxiety scale to a complete flat-liner, no anxiety whatsoever. I learned that some amount of anxiety was a good thing for me and that it served as a motivator. For instance, I went from - "there is a mid-term next week oh crap, I need to study!" to no reaction ... the number "73481" and "mid term next week" produced the same reaction, it was just a thing, with no emotion attached. I discussed this with my psychiatrist and switched to Zoloft. Interestingly, both are SSRI drugs, chemical cousins, but they lead to very different effects for me. I am not anti-social, I am pro-solitude. ;-) Even now, I get a little stressed when I have to be "on" at work all day, and I need to spend time alone (hiking, biking, driving, thinking) to recharge so that I can be "on" again. I could go days without talking to people. I feel my best after a couple of days of chasing pheasants on the plains, with my dogs and nothing around but the wind blowing through the tall grass prairie. OP - hang in there and ask for help if you need it. You don't have to suffer.
lonelytot wrote:
I think I want to tell my parents so I can get help because it's taking over my life. A runner to the running community, what should I do?
Two-a-days will fix this quickly.
Social anxiety is an extremely deep and faceted topic, it's hard to give a good answer on such a small platform but I'll try my best, as I've spent the last few years dealing with my own social anxiety.
Basically (as I understand it, and I could be wrong), social anxiety breaks down like this. Social anxiety is essentially an ancient, evolutionary defense mechanism employed by your brain and nervous system to prevent you from doing or saying something that could get you killed or ostracized from the 'tribe' - believe it or not, your brain is actually just trying to keep you in line with the social order to save your life. Your brain has received feedback from the external world that you are 'low status' in the dominance hierarchy, and in turn, tries to keep you from trying to rise up in the hierarchy for fear of being killed. This bad feedback usually comes at an early age, when your brain is FIRST forming its neural networks, in the form of poor social conditioning. Things like your teacher shaming you in front of the class, or your peers laughing at you, or worse, your parents yelling at you and telling you you're bad (this is usually the most powerful form of conditioning, as we rely heavily on our parents at an early age for survival).
Your social anxiety is not a result of you being a bad person, it's a result of bad programming and wiring in your brain. The good news is, these habits can be changed through effort and trial and error. You must also change your mindset on a very deep level. First you must realize that most people are not out to get you, they are too busy thinking about themselves to care about you. Change your expectations from "if I talk I will say something stupid and people will hate me" to "If I talk people might like me." With this mindset, you must blast through your fears by putting yourself out there incrementally, and over time you will get comfortable doing so.
These are the basics, however there is loads more information out there from people who know more about this than I do. I suggest you find books, articles, whatever information you can find. The internet company Real Social Dynamics really helped me on this subject when I was dealing with social anxiety.
Remember you won't fix SA in one day, you can compare this with running. You need to start out slowly and build up over couple of years in most cases, by facing your fears. And believe me, the problem will even go away completely after that. Also remember most young people that are not retarded have some degree of this social anxiety in today's society.
I suffered from the same problem a long time back because of health problems, marriage problems, family drama, etc. It was a lot to take. So I decided to consult a psychic tarot card reader. She predicted some of my future events and told me that it will soon be alright and gave me some advice. It helped me a lot. I hope your life is better now. But if want some questions to be answered or want some advice you can go to her official website (http://www.martine-voyance.com/).
lonelytot wrote:
I think I want to tell my parents so I can get help because it's taking over my life. A runner to the running community, what should I do?
Learn to code like the rest of us.