DO NOT have kids until your sh!t is completely straight

freedom wrote:

You can choose to eat avocado toast, and you can choose to not eat avocado toast. Bottom line is that you won't be having a wife and kids to pester you about your diet.

True 'cause no one will care or notice if you die.

no one cares about you wrote:

freedom wrote:

You can choose to eat avocado toast, and you can choose to not eat avocado toast. Bottom line is that you won't be having a wife and kids to pester you about your diet.

True 'cause no one will care or notice if you die.

First of all, does it even matter? You're not going to notice or care anyway since you're dead.

Second of all, your siblings, parents, and/or extended family will still care if you're not a complete jerk.

Third of all, just because you're single doesn't mean that you'll be a solitary hermit. Quite the opposite; singles typically get to spend more time with their friends and spend more time volunteering in their community.

We haven't come close to the carrying capacity of the earth and with technology still improving our ability to make use of land and energy, we never will. Most say the Earth population will level off around 10 billion as fertility rates decline naturally as a country modernizes. There will always be another Pat Robertson or an Al Gore to predict the planet will end in 10 years though.

freedom wrote:

no one cares about you wrote:

True 'cause no one will care or notice if you die.

First of all, does it even matter? You're not going to notice or care anyway since you're dead.

Second of all, your siblings, parents, and/or extended family will still care if you're not a complete jerk.

Third of all, just because you're single doesn't mean that you'll be a solitary hermit. Quite the opposite; singles typically get to spend more time with their friends and spend more time volunteering in their community.

Not once they get old. People without families wither away lonely at the nursing home. Sad to watch.

no one cares about you wrote:

freedom wrote:

First of all, does it even matter? You're not going to notice or care anyway since you're dead.

Second of all, your siblings, parents, and/or extended family will still care if you're not a complete jerk.

Third of all, just because you're single doesn't mean that you'll be a solitary hermit. Quite the opposite; singles typically get to spend more time with their friends and spend more time volunteering in their community.

Not once they get old. People without families wither away lonely at the nursing home. Sad to watch.

So what? Dying with family or without. Result is still the same. A dead person isn't able to care about dying alone.

the longer you wait for kids, the harder it is!!! why do you think so many hs kids have "oops" pregnancies????!??? no one is ready for kids..... but I must say. have a solid marriage first... otherwise..... most likely you better get ready for some trouble!

Sounds like you knocked up your high school sweet heart and your parents are making you hang up the running shoes and be a man. I had kids pretty young at 24 I had 2 kids and my wife was 19. We made it work did okay. I joined the military and took night classes both me and my wife did. If you want a good life you will buckle down and get the stuff that is required for a good paying career done. We make $140k combined are kids are never hungry college is already taken care of for them and they are only 9 and 10 now. They have been around the world to Disney about a dozen times and enjoy life.

The truth is nobody is ever 100% ready to be a great parent but doing the right things to the best of your ability will keep you out of jail and your kids alive abd healthy. Remember the younger you are the easier it is to keep up with them.

The OP is an idiot.

You can change your life with or without kids, it is up to you.

One of my mentors, and greatest person I know used to be a bartender with me. We would go hard almost every night, we were wild animals. Drinking, smoking, different girls every night...Then he met someone, and they she got pregnant.

He disappeared. He wanted to start a business, took some late night classes, wrote several business plans, and kept his head down.

He hasn't had a sip of booze, or a puff of smoke since he got the news about his first son. Now, seven years later, he has a six figure business, two lovely kids, a great house and loving wife...

He did NOT have his act together when he first had a kid. It is up to you. The OP is a moron.

Generation X failed as parents. If you're Gen X, most likely if you raised a kid, you failed.

Nope.... wrote:

Boomers failed as parents. If you're Boomer most likely if you raised a kid, you failed.

Fixed your post for you.

Couldn’t agree more. Grew up in a poor rural area, had a kid before I was financially ready or emotionally mature (like most people I grew up with) even though I was married young.

Result: divorce. Kid is luckily ‘ok’ given the circumstances. Most of my income from working goes to child support. I live in a studio on the North Side because I can’t afford a nicer place, public housing is too close for comfort. Thinking about going back to school to be a nurse but debt is a concern. As far as Dating women, I’m lucky if a single Mom snaggletooth will go out to Wendy’s with me.

no one cares about you wrote:

freedom wrote:

First of all, does it even matter? You're not going to notice or care anyway since you're dead.

Second of all, your siblings, parents, and/or extended family will still care if you're not a complete jerk.

Third of all, just because you're single doesn't mean that you'll be a solitary hermit. Quite the opposite; singles typically get to spend more time with their friends and spend more time volunteering in their community.

Not once they get old. People without families wither away lonely at the nursing home. Sad to watch.

I never understood this logic. You have kids, you're stuck with them for about 18 years. You wither away lonely at the nursing home, you're stuck there for about 18 months.

I'd rather suffer for 18 months at the end of my life than suffer for 18 years during the best years of my life.

Hardloper wrote:

We haven't come close to the carrying capacity of the earth and with technology still improving our ability to make use of land and energy, we never will.

So you're saying that the Earth can support 50 billion people? What about 500 billion?

And if it can, would you want to live in that world? It would be a crowded, congested, polluted, and smelly mess with no room for nature or wildlife.

Hardloper wrote:

Most say the Earth population will level off around 10 billion as fertility rates decline naturally as a country modernizes.

So it is a good idea to (voluntarily) limit the number of kids you have after all.

YourNeverReady wrote:

Sounds like you knocked up your high school sweet heart and your parents are making you hang up the running shoes and be a man. I had kids pretty young at 24 I had 2 kids and my wife was 19. We made it work did okay. I joined the military and took night classes both me and my wife did. If you want a good life you will buckle down and get the stuff that is required for a good paying career done.

Stories like this just make me sad. Your 20s and 30s are supposed to be for personal development and enjoyment, not for struggling and raising kids.

When I was 24, I had a "meh" job and made around 45K. Since I didn't have any kids, I was able to focus on my career and pursue all of my hobbies. Five years later, I was making double that amount, bought a house, visited 10 different countries, and done many cool and exciting things like going scuba diving on the Great Barrier Reef. I may be a sub-sub-sub elite at best, but at least I got to squeeze out every ounce of talent I had and find out what my limits were. Heck, I set more PRs post-college than during my injury-filled college career. Few if any of the above things would be possible if I had kids at 24.

I am 32 now. I still don't have any kids, and life couldn't be any better.

5) Both parties are older than 30. People's thoughts, personalities, and life goals still change considerably in their 20s, and those changes can be dramatic. Both of you need to be completely sure of who you are and what you want out of life before you have kids.

Nope.... wrote:

Generation X failed as parents. If you're Gen X, most likely if you raised a kid, you failed.

Odd comment. If you were born at the beginning of Gen X (~1961) and you had kids when you're 25, they're now young adults (32 in this example), but if you were born at the mid point of Gen X (~1971) and had kids at age 30, they're in high school. Obviously some of Gen X's offspring are still in diapers.

So I'm very comfortable saying the jury is still out.

Now - the Baby Boomers are the typical parents of Millennials. They (Millennials) are a fascinating generation - well educated, principled, and in certain ways resourceful, but they were largely raised in a bubble. That is why you have the same Baby Boomer parents who did their kids' homework & whined to their teachers for getting a B-, that are now calling their kids bosses and complaining on their kids behalf.

Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the mouth.

I followed OPs tactic. I had all my sh-t together from college through my late 30s, then had a major career setback in my late 30s when I was married with 2 kids. My life & marriage stayed in tact not because I invested well financially, but because I invested in a strong marriage. I'm still married, now have 3 kids, and just getting my next career track sorted back out.

Of the original advise:

1) Your marriage is solid

2) Your financial situation is solid (not just for you, but for the future human you plan on creating)

3) you at least somewhat like your job

I think #1 dwarfs the others. I would much rather bring kids into a loving household than a financially abundant household. As far as #3 - it's amazing if you can achieve it, but so often it's not realistic.

There is no blueprint for happiness. Your 20s and 30s are for whatever you make happen. Few would argue that having kids as a teenager is beneficial for anyone. On the flip side, having kids after 40 for a woman is not fair to the kids or the mom if we are being totally honest. For a man, things get pushed back 5-10 years depending on financial power, health, etc but old dads are not necessarily good dads.

People perceive more control over their family situation than they actually have. You say life couldn't be better but very few guys who regularly sleep with an over 25, attractive, non-crazy girl don't marry that girl and have kids with her within 5 years. Its just how things go.

The most likely reason you haven't had kids is that you are sleeping with girls that are too young, too old, not attractive enough, or too crazy. There's nothing wrong with that and chances are in the next few years you will find a girl that makes you want to have kids and you will. But trust me, that won't happen because of your age, your job, or your travel experiences. And yes, girls who don't want to have any kids or want to wait till they are 40 are crazy in a strictly evolutionary sense. Having kids is tough and it does not get easier, especially for the woman, at older ages.

Yeah, so isn't the whole point that you shouldn't rush the process? Just live your 20's and 30's in the best way you can, and when you meet a girl who is a good age (21-32), attractive, not crazy, and fits some of the criteria that more experienced people like your father/uncle would approve (not saying to go off others' opinions) then you progress towards locking it down.

And won't the job, money, age, and travel/life experiences enhance your ability to meet these girls?